Greis and Rum (COMPLETED)

29- Origin

Rumzuell was fine with Santana tagging along with us, it was like a double dinner date. I guess he didn't hold a grudge about happened before but I'm still bothered about it. The feeling of having him around was never pleasing to me but I have to respect Santana. He better be serious about her this time or else he'll have his bones checked inside the hospital. Which reminded me, he doesn't even seem like the type of guy who'll provide for his own family someday—he'll probably make his parents support his family.

Hay, Santana, what are you doing with your life? You're entrusting your life with a guy you just met that has the capability to hurt people, who couldn't live without his parent's money and you call it true love? Tangina ang alam ko hindi bobo ang pinsan ko pero bakit di niya naiisip lahat ng to.

Bakit naman kasi siya nakipagbalikan don, she could even be better off without him.

I'm in my studio because I finally found time to paint today. I need an outlet. Usually, I paint when I'm stressed out or I just create random things. Back in college, they used to call me 3D printer behind my back. It's like I generate things that I imagine whether it involved machinery, technology, handicraft or anything about innovation. I didn't find that name as a compliment but rather an insult to my skills—I am more than just what they think and I don't go by 3D printer, I have a name at pinandigan ko ng bongga ang pangalang yun.

When Rum first visited here to sundo Poch, nakita niya na agad ang ongoing project ko na apparently ay nahulaan niya na. Hindi ko alam pano pero hindi pa naman nabubuo ang piece nun. Ewan ko nga kung bakit ko ito ginawa but don't get me wrong, moms are great but I guess my mom is different. Hmm, I don't even know how to describe her anymore. What does she look like again? Ganito kaya mukha niya in her 30's? Ayoko naman i-search, that would only create algorithm for what I thought was family that I eventually learned to forget about a long long time ago. I hate to say that I am part of it and it sticks to my name no matter how tall and thick the walls that I built from it. Too much for being 'perfect' I guess.

Naramdaman ko ang presensiya ni Manang Fely sa studio kaya napalingon ako agad "Iha, di na ko kumatok. Hindi ka pa nanananghalian sabi ni Santana. Kumain ka na muna." inilatag niya ang tray sa bakanteng stand table. Inadjust ko muna ang pagkakalagay ng canvas para hindi magalaw "Salamat po. Kakainin ko na lang po mamaya."

"Kainin mo na habang mainit-init pa ang sabaw." Tiningnan ko ang nakahain at nakita ang pamilyar na luto "Hindi ko makuha ang luto ni Teten." natatawang sabi ni Manang.

Natigilan ako saglit at napatingin sa kalendaryo.

It's almost your birthday, Bix.

Sumikip na naman ang dibdib ko sa mga memorya. Bumabalik ang huling pagkakataon na nasilayan ko siya. I hope you don't cry again, I hope you don't get hurt in trying and testing the waters. I wish you all the best in life with the path that you chose and that is choosing to exclude me.

"Kay gandang obra, iha. Sino ito?" nakangiting tanong ni Manang.

"Manang, kamukha ko na po ba ang nanay ko ngayon?"

"Hindi mo na ba maalala?"

"Ayoko na alalahanin."

"Bakit mo tinatanong sakin ngayon ang itsura ng nanay mo?"

Natahimik ako saglit, "S-Salamat po sa pagkain."

Umalis na si Manang at naiwan na naman akong mag-isa kasama ang bago ko lang natapos na obra. Namangha ako sa sarili, I didn't expect it to come out this way. It was just so expressive. I could no longer just recognize it as a mother bearing life, it was something that my heart would've wanted to feel and know more about. I took off my apron and untied my hair. Maliligo muna ako bago mag-ayos para sa lakad namin.