// A W2S Fanfic //
If it is true that "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results", then Alex had been living in insanity her whole life.
Alex feels like she as been going through the motions for way too lo...
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Alex have always known she wasn't very athletic. That was what she always told herself most of her life anyway. Although she will never know for sure whether it was true or a form of self-fulfilling prophecy, she had been making efforts to get out of the box she may have trapped herself in.
Snowboarding was another step out of that box. Even before the list, she has probably written snowboarding in at least two different bucket lists before. And yes, she was the kind of nerd that kept a bullet journal complete with a bucket list.
I hate this. I'm so shit. I'm so shit. I'm so shit. This was the running negative commentary on repeat in Alex's head, despite every effort she was making not to fall into her usually negative ways.
She and Stella were almost 15 minutes late for their 2 hour snowboarding lesson. And between her anxieties about running late and the mishap with the poor guy whose head he accidentally assaulted, the snowboarding day that she had been dreaming about just wasn't panning out how she had hoped it would.
With 15 minutes already down the drain, the next 15 minutes was wasted while she and Stella fumble about and try to figure out where they were supposed to meet their instructor. Then another extra minutes to put their stuff in the lockers. And she could've sworn they spent easily a half hour properly securing their boots onto their feet--no not even to fasten themselves onto the snowboard but just to properly have the boots on their feet. Because Stella didn't even have her boots on yet when they got to the Top Gondola Village, while Alex's were still untied; and neither of them had any idea what to do with the inner boot lacing, which Alex kinda thought looked like one of those emergency whistles.
Alex was spiralling. She knew it. Except knowing that she is in a negative spiral only made help feel even more shitty and anxious.
It felt like one of those things were you plan something to death and you get so hyped as the anticipation grows, only to be let down because nothing can ever live up to admittedly unrealistic expectations.
It's going to be fine. She tried some positive self-talk, which made her feel stupid but years and years of therapy has told her it was supposed to help. It's not like you could have expected to be a pro your first time trying something new. You don't look stupid. You're fine.
The instructor, a really nice and patient girl who must've been around Stella and Alex's age was holding Alex's hand as she struggled to slide down. Apparently, if its your first time on a snowboard, the first bit of learning happens with just one boot strapped into the snowboard bindings.
But even then Alex couldn't relax enough to let go. Not even on the bunny hill--this was the Mighty Might Learning area, beginners' hill where literal 3 year olds slide down on their snowboards and skis. They didn't have to take a chairlift to get up this hill but instead you get on the 'magic carpet'--which was something that looked like a much narrower, outdoor version of those moving walkways often found in airports.
