Things We Don't Normally Do

TWENTY SEVEN

Alex froze. She did not think she was one to panic over the word love. She never really understood it before--how it seemed that everyone was so careful and tight about it, doling it out like it was something that needed to be kept rare.

Her heart was beating so fast that it felt almost like she couldn't breathe. She clenched her fists, trying to take in some breaths. She knew what she was feeling very dangerously mimicked a panic attack when her vision started to blur and she started to feel nauseous. So she closed her eyes, focusing on slowing her breath down. The longer it went, the more freaked out she felt. But what brought her back was Harry's arms, squeezing her, and his voice saying her name, "Alex, I love you... and you don't have to say it back."

Her lungs finally felt like it had inflated back up with oxygen, her vision clearing. She took another deep breath. Her heart was still racing, "I love you too, you know?"

A smile started to form on his face, as he leaned in. He paused for a second as if asking for permission and when Alex didn't flinch, Harry inched closer, his lips finding hers. It as a tamed, and delicate kiss. They have definitely had hungrier ones, but this one was sweet, and it made all the anxiety melt away from Alex as she kissed him back.

"I've wanted to do that for days." he confessed once they finally pulled apart.

"What took you so long to do it then?" she smirked.

"Good things are worth the wait, you know?" was his response. But even he knew full and well just how cringe that was, even as he was saying it. He couldn't even keep a straight face for long enough.

"But Harry." Alex started.

"Oh don't ruin this!" he joked. Harry's face was smiling, but he was legitimately worried.

"I can't go." she continued anyway, "I can't go to London with you."

He let out a sigh but offered her a smile anyway. He didn't want things to turn sour. He really wanted her to come back with him, but of course he knew she had the right to say no. He just really, really wished she wouldn't.

"Alright. Then I'll just fly back." he said, scrambling to make some sort of a plan, like someone giving an impromptu presentation to argue their case, "I'll check with the boys and see if we can film a few videos back to back, then I won't have to fly back out so soon."

"Harry." she said gently, "This won't be sustainable. You know that too."

"Do I?" he joked, making a face at her.

But she doubled down and had to fight not to be swayed by his adorable face, "Not when we aren't even together. This is the kinda setup people fall into when they're already in a long-term relationship, you know. For real, we don't even know each other that well."

"I know the things that matter. Like how you make me feel." He frowned, "Everything else is just irrelevant details, isn't it? We got the rest of our lives to get to know each other."

She hated how easily he was swaying her. So she just frowned and said nothing, just shook her head.

"So let's go out then. On a real date. Hold hands, and ask each other all the questions." he proposed, "Then in a couple of days, before I leave, we decide. Together. Yeah?"

A part of her, one that was deeply seeded in her subconscious, the one that yelled at her everyday and told her she was unworthy was now throwing a hissy fit and telling her to rebuff him. But everything else told her to at least give this one a fair shot. So she nodded uncertainly, "Alright."

The next day, Alex woke up to a lot of shuffling, and a loud clatter. She was having a hard time opening her eyes—one of the annoyances of sleeping too much.