Things We Don't Normally Do

THIRTY EIGHT

"I really like you." Harry said, his eyes locking with hers.

It felt like a long time had passed before Alex said anything. She just looked at him thoughtfully, although the silence was surprisingly comfortable enough. She could feel her heart and her head fighting about what was about to come out of her mouth—something that has been threatening to spill out for a while.

She laced her fingers with his hair and smiled. She wasn't sure about this at all. But she didn't believe in being so tight about doling words out. After everything, Harry had been nothing short of wonderful.

"I love you." she whispered. The words barely audible even in the silence of the night.

But Harry heard it. Loud and clear, the words cut through the silence that was once only disturbed by quiet breaths.

"Shut up!" Harry yelled a little bit too loudly, before his hand slapped right against his own mouth.

"Okay." Alex smirked but laughed.

"No! I'm sorry." he said, his voice still a bit louder than necessary.

Alex just shook her head and hid her face behind her hands. Harry pulled her in for a hug.

It wasn't exactly the first time she admitted to loving him. But it was the first time she had said it unprompted. She had only ever said it back before—and only once.

"Do you mean it?" he whispered into her hair, "Because I'm in love with you."

"Why do you have to go and one-up me like that?" she laughed.

"What do you mean?" he seemed genuinely oblivious.

"You know, because it took me so long to say it, and you're going to say in love. In love is like a whole 'nother level." she laughed, pretending to pout.

"I just didn't want you to feel like you're in too deep." he joked, "Wanted to reassure you that I am in even deeper."

"Oh you like being in too deep, do you?" she joked, the innuendo instantly making heat rise up to Harry's face.

"Shut up." He chuckled, struggling to recover.

Alex laughed along with him. It was the second time he's told her to shut up, which she found oddly comforting. She wasn't sure if this made her odd, but she felt immense relief at the fact that he was starting to relax and be able to mess around with her again.

"I mean it." Harry said quietly, "I just want to make sure you know that. I'm not messing about when I say I love you—no, that I'm in love with you."

Alex's laugh faded into a smile. It was intimidating to be faced with so much certainty. How could he say those words so boldly and self-assuredly like that?

"Harry—I..." it wasn't that she wasn't sure how she felt. She has never been as certain. She was just genuinely caught off guard by his resolve. She wasn't sure how to respond.

"I've said it before: you don't have to say it back. I just want to let you know." he smiled at her, playing with her hand as he looked into her eyes.

"No, Harry. I love you. I think I know that much." She smiled awkwardly, feeling the uneasy feeling she always felt when she was confronted with emotions. The taunting voice in her head screamed at her, calling her names like frigid bitch; telling her how emotionally stunted she was.

She had allowed the voice to keep going for so long, playing on a mind-numbing loop that she wasn't sure she knew how to shut it up. She wanted it to stop. She knew how she felt despite trying to deny it since the first day she met Harry. And for once, she wanted to be honest about her feelings; for once, she wanted to stop listening to that screaming voice.