Odette Parker: My True Self

Chapter 21: Shattered Images

I am overly aware of his entire being. I feel every muscle twitch. I am currently laying on my side facing away from him while he reads a book. Every turn of the page, every breath he takes. Maybe I should have gotten my own room. I roll over onto my back and rub my hands down my face.

Loki: "Kitten?"

Dets: "Yes?"

Loki: "You're supposed to be sleeping."

Dets: "Thank you captain obvious."

Loki: "Why are you not sleeping?"

Dets: "My brain won't shut up. Maybe some music might help."

My phone is on the charger. I sit up and grab my headphones from my purse. I insert the headphones and maneuver the phone onto the bed. That is as far as it will go on the charger. I flip onto my stomach and scroll through my playlist. I have no idea what I want to listen to. I need to occupy my brain with something other than his proximity.

Loki: "What is on your mind that is keeping you awake?"

I remove my headphones and look at him.

Dets: "A lot of things. I miss my family; I am in the same city and I can't see them. I miss my friends, I miss the team, I miss my entire fucking life. There is nothing I can do about it yet though. I thought hiding out on Asgard would be easy, instead I discover that I have magic because of some bloodline that was thought to be extinct. I still have no idea about my lost years because you don't want to cause me pain, which is so sweet, yet counter productive. Not to mention the tension in this room could be cut by a dull butter knife. And it's on a merry-go-round in my head, never ending."

Loki: "What would you like for me to do?"

I drop my face in my hands and sigh.

Dets: "Nothing, Loki. It's my shit. I have to deal with it."

Loki: "You mentioned my hesitancy about your lost years. Would you like for me to try and find you a memory?"

Dets: "God no!!"

Loki: "I do not understand."

Dets: "Like I need more shit crowding up my head right now? I am trying to go to bed, I was most likely tortured during those years, giving me my scars. I would relive that memory like a nightmare if we did it now."

Loki: "There is nothing I can do for you?"

I watch him place his book down on the nightstand on his side. He lays down and rolls over to face me and then props his head on an elbow. In that moment flashes of our previous interactions run through my mind, Loki's thoughts I saw are mingled in. I drop my head in my pillow and sign again. I flip over on my back and place my hands on my stomach.

Dets: "My brain officially hates me."

Loki: "Why do you say that Kitten?"

Dets: "It is torturing me."

Loki: "How?"

Dets: "It is now adding in images of things I do not need to think about at all."

Loki: "You are being vague."

Dets: "Yes I am."

Loki: "Are you thinking of me Kitten?"

Dets: "Nope!" I make the pop sound with the 'P'

Loki: "You are a terrible liar."

My head shoots to look at him. He is wearing his cocky smirk. Ugh he is so arrogant, why is it so hot?

Dets: "And you are arrogant."

Loki: "Observant."

Dets: "Come again?"