Odette Parker: My True Self

Chapter 22: Memories

Loki: "Kitten?"

Dets: "The doctor, she saved me. I remember that day."

I pull myself off of him and grab a cigarette. I walk to the balcony and light it. I smoke in silence. Loki joins me on the balcony.

Dets: "What if someone sees you."

Loki: "It will be fine. What was that memory?"

Dets: "The woman, was a doctor, she never told me her name. I just called her doctor. She saved me. She rescued me from somewhere. She told me she wanted me to live. When the man with the metal arm came, she told me to be free. I think whatever she injected me with mimicked death because the man checked my pulse. Between my head wound and no pulse he assumed I was dead. Obviously I wasn't. That was the night I was found by Officer Bill. The doctor and I stayed in that house for six months, she started teaching me English. She wanted me to live."

Loki: "There were flashes before that. What was that?"

Dets: "I wish I knew. I think that was where I was being held captive. That's where I was injected with super soldier serum. I think they did something to make me forget. The burning in my brain, the machine. It messed with my memories."

I finish my cigarette and walk back into the main room. I grab my purse and return to my room. I lock my door and throw myself onto my bed. I grab my purse and prep a whole. I turn my music on and listen to Linkin Park's first album. I was 6 when this album came out. I discovered it when I was in middle school. I play 'One Step Closer' and finish the whole before getting up and screaming the lyrics. Its a screaming song. If you know, you know.I felt Loki blink into the room, I didn't acknowledge him, I couldn't my brain was being attacked by flashbacks.

Memories are flooding my brain, bits and pieces. It's giving me a headache. Loki blinks in, and sits on my bed. I am just raging out to my music. I keep seeing the man in the mask with the metal arm. Then the doctors and the needles. Its terrifying. I know they are going to hurt me. They cut me. I heal within minutes. They insert tools to prevent healing. They burn me with acid. The whip me with acid dipped tassels. The scars on my back. I fall to the floor in tears.

Loki runs to me and lifts me off the floor. I wrap my arms around him and get as close as I can. He lays on my bed and hands me my phone. I turn the music off. I am crying hard.

Loki: "I did not want this. I caused you pain."

I roll over and look at him. I crawl into his lap.

Dets: "You..did not... cause this... Loki..."

Loki: "It was buried. I brought it forward. You remember because of me. I caused this."

More flashes hit me. I am in a room. A man there is teaching me to punch, kick, I can't be more than five years old. I am so tired. My knuckles are bloody. Then it flashes to a concrete room where I am being hosed down. Everything is broken.

I flinch in his arms. He hugs me close.

Loki: "Forgive me."

We stay like that for what seems like forever. He just holds me while I cry as I get flashes of my past. Nothing makes sense. The symbol keeps appearing. The multi-headed monster. Flashes of pain, torture, experiments.

Loki: "What do you need from me?"

I am quite for a long time. This is the Loki I like. The caring, sensitive, sweet, Loki. This is the Loki I need.

I look up at him and grab his face. I pull him close and kiss him softly. My body ignites, his does to. His hands travel to my waist and I end up straddling him again. The kisses progress from sweet to hungry. Our tongues dance around each other, caress each other.