Sad Dolan Twins Imagines

First Love (E.D)

If someone were to ask who and when I had my first love, I'd say it was when I saw Ethan the last time when we were both nine years old. I remember the day so clearly. I remember how Grayson wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I remember how Ethan kissed my cheek for the very last time.

When it came to bid my goodbyes to Ethan, I felt my heart ache at the thought of this being our last goodbye. Our last time seeing each other. But I was determined that in the future, we'd be married and had our own family and didn't have to worry about being separated again. That's what first loves do. They're the first ones to take your heart and you never wanna let them go because it's your first time ever feeling this way, and you want it to last forever.

"Promise me one day you'll come back E." I whispered. I wanted to hold onto him as if I let go, it really was going to be the last time I'd see him. I felt his arms wrap around me tighter as he said, "I'll come back for you. I'll come back."

He didn't promise, but those words were enough for me. He did wanna come back. He wanted to come back for me. He didn't have to promise me he just had to know that he was going to come back no matter what.

When I let go of him, I felt a piece of my heart mix with his. And with it, he joined his family in the car where they'd soon drive off to their new life. A new life created where I didn't exist.

I watched them until I couldn't see them. When they finally left my view, that's when I realized that that piece would never be returned. Ethan was always going to be my first love and he was always going to hold that piece.

For years I waited for the call, text, email, or even a letter to tell me that he was going to come back for the summer and we'd have those summer flings where the summer sun made us melt in each others arms. The summer fling would turn into all the seasons and he'd visit me every chance he got.

But he never came for fall, winter, spring or summer. He never sent anything to me. I went on dates, I had relationships, I had painful heartbreaks, but it was hard when a piece of your heart was somewhere in the world.

I'm now twenty-four. I'm still single, but I got over the fantasy that Ethan was going to come back and be my prince charming. I moved out of New Jersey and went straight to New York to build up my dreams of becoming an actor. I think that's what I needed, to run away from a place filled with Ethan and so much heartbreak.

I hadn't been in a relationship ever since I left my abusive and toxic relationship when I was twenty. I gave up finding love when I wasted so much of it on a man who found our love in arguments and tears. I gave up on the fantasy where my great love would come to me one day and comfort me like no guy has ever. And I thought I'd never have faith in love again.

Until one fall day I got a call from mom a few days ago, telling me about how she ran into Lisa. She learned that the Dolans moved back into town a couple months ago and that Grayson and Ethan moved to Los Angeles when they were teenagers. Learning about this made me realize that for the time I believed he was going to come back, he only went farther.

I also learned something that made my heart swell. Ethan fell in love and has been with her for five years. A year ago they had gotten married and now have a nine month year old daughter.

I didn't wanna be sad. I didn't wanna hate him for building a life where I didn't exist. But when hearing this, I wondered what I did for my life. I surrounded my life around Ethan, my first love. Just to find out his life was never mine.

I was heartbroken. I thought to myself, maybe if I never known about how he was or where he was, I wouldn't have been so depressed. But the relief that washed over me to hear that he was okay and not dead. To hear that they were happy.