Sad Dolan Twins Imagines

The voicemail (G.D)

I smiled at the computer screen in front of me as I watched the video of me and you ice skating, and you trying to impress me by jumping in the air and spinning. But failed as half way through your jump, you had fallen and your ass hitting the cold ice floor. I laughed as you groaned in pain and failed attempt to impress me.

But the laugh had faded away, as did the smile. The only thing was silence and the brightness of the screen being the only thing illuminating the dark room. I had been wearing your favorite sweatshirt that still had the linger of your smell on it, bringing me warmth inside as it felt like you were hugging me.

I was sitting down on my bed, wrapped in the blanket that had me and you on it as a gift you had given me. It was 2 in the morning and the only sounds that would be heard were the clicks of the keyboard mixed with the little sniffs coming here and there, and the wind brushing on my window like a call to be let in.

It had been one of those nights where I would just miss you terribly to the point where I couldn't sleep and would stay up until the sun would rise up and shine through my curtains. Or until I've cried so hard and loud that my parents would have to come into my room to give me comfort.

I was going through the flash drive you had left behind that contained a shit ton of memories that I wish I could bring back just by a push of a button. But I couldn't. I couldn't bring you back even if I would cry enough for a river to form. Nothing could bring you back.

I just clicked the arrow button to look at the next picture, then the next, then the next, then the next until I couldn't bear to see your smile that I missed so much. I slammed my computer shut, took out the flash drive not caring if I didn't eject it right. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed you more than ever.

I threw the flash drive across the room. It hit the table leg and then the floor bouncing up and down until finally it landed. But, a realization hit me. That was the only thing he had left for you and only you, and you could've destroyed it.

I jumped off my bed and hurried towards it. I bent down slowly as I looked at it. It was okay. It survived the impact of the table and I sighed in relief as I didn't throw it to hard. I held it close to my heart, sobbing as quiet as I can to not wake my parents up.

This was the only thing left that you had given me and only me. The thought of losing something that you had put so much time and effort into, broke me into pieces because of how much love it contained.

I sniffled as I walked over to my bed, and carefully placed the flash drive into the box that contained everything. Pictures. Tickets. Flowers. Receipts.

Everything we did together, was in this box. And every time I look at it, I hate it.

I hate the fact you left. I hate the fact I could've done something. I hate the fact that I'm left alone in this world without you. The person who made me smile. Made me laugh. Made me, me.

Before doing something destructive to the box, I quickly placed the cap over it and put it into my drawer, letting it stay there until the next time I needed you.

I sat down at my bed and read the clock. 3:06. I hated this feeling. The feeling of sadness that you were gone. The feeling of anger that I could've helped. The feeling of guilt that I let this happen. All these emotions, but nothing can bring you back.

No matter how many tears I shed, even if it creates a river. No matter how many times I say I miss you. No matter how many times I think about you. You won't appear in my arms, place my head against your heart, and whisper "I love you." Like you always did when I wasn't strong.

I just stared at the wall. Thinking of everything.  Thinking of all our fights. All our laughs. All our smiles. Everything about us. I can never get that back.

But I couldn't let that in any longer. All these emotions, were to strong and I needed to release them. I needed you.

I let out a quiet sob, but held my hand up to my mouth to keep them in to not wake my parents.

I cried, and cried, and cried. It hurt. Trying to keep in your screams for help and sobs was like trying to be quiet after you get stabbed in the heart.

And that's what it felt like. That I got stabbed in the heart a million times, without any notice. But kept in my cry's for help.

I needed you. I missed you so much. I need your arms and your voice to tell me that everything will be fine. But I can't call you.

Wait.

Call.

You.

I grabbed my phone off of my bed and quickly typed the password in, hoping that what I was thinking would work.

I get shit ton of notifications since I had turned off my phone ever since your death, but I ignored all of them as my main focus was your contact.

I scrolled through my call history until my thumb hovered your contact. I was hesitant at first, should I click on it? Would it work? Is it still your number?

Fuck it.

I clicked it.

Calling Grayson

I held the phone up to my ear and waited as it rang. I knew you weren't going to pick up, but worth a shot.

"Please leave your message for.."

"Hey! It's Grayson. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm either filming, with family or friends, or with my beautiful queen Y/N! I'll call you back as soon as I can! Peace!"

I smiled at his voicemail as it was the cutest thing ever. He recorded it while I was sitting right next to him and watching him redo it after failing so many times, was adorable.

But when the phone beeped, I snapped out of my thoughts.

I guess this is the only way I can talk about my feelings.

I took a deep breath, and clutched my hand onto a fist.

"Hey Grayson. I miss you. I know you're never going to hear this but, I love you. And I always will. I keep going through the box of memories you left. And I just want to go back to you. I miss you a lot. The nights where I stay up watching videos of us and pictures of us. Everything. I want you back. I miss my king. I miss my baby. I miss my happiness. I miss you. Please come back."

I hung up and placed my phone on my bed once again.

I plumped down on my bed. And looked up at the ceiling.

I'd do anything just to hear his voice again.