Sad Dolan Twins Imagines

First choice (E.D) PT 3

I sat crying in my room the whole day. The way he stared in my eyes for a split second. How he sounded hurt when he told me he loved me. How once he shut the door I could hear a sob escape from him.

Once he left I dropped onto the floor and sobbed. I let him walk out. I should've felt free but I felt more trapped. I couldn't breath nor could I see. My brain was spiraling out of control.

Some people say that once they let go of that one person who has hurt them, they feel like they can finally feel their wings and fly away. But why do I feel like my wings have been ripped out of me.

I finally got the courage to walk over to the door. He should be gone by now. I was on the floor crying for 15 minutes. He should've left by now. But it never hurt to check.

But I knew if I opened that door, I was looking back. That I wouldn't be able to live on. He was holding me back and I was letting him. I was letting him hurt me.

He apologized. He sounded genuine when he said I love you. Why didn't I take him back?

He was with her.

The whole reason we got into this mess was because of her. She was the one he cheated on me with and she's the one who broke my heart. Every time I look at her I can't stop but think, no wonder he cheated on me.

She had the perfect looks. Her nose was pinched and skinny. She had curves that would've shown through all her outfits. Her eyes were a pretty hazel and her hair was a nice brown with small blonde highlights. She had nice long legs and the sharpest cheek bones. She had deep hip dives and you might be imagining a girl who looks like she hasn't eaten anything, but this girl was amazing in every single way.

I backed away from the door and looked at it. I didn't take him back because he was with her. Because I knew that he would always think of how amazing and perfect she was and compare her to me and think, "what the hell am I thinking, this ones way worse than her."

No matter what, he'll go back to her. As much as he says he loves me he'll always think of her as the perfect girl. No matter what he'll think of her. No matter what I'll always be the second choice. If she doesn't fulfill his needs, I will. Because I love him.

I banged my fist on the door and screamed. All the anger in me leashed out. Why couldn't I be his one and only?

"Screw you Ethan Dolan!" I cried. I banged my first against the door again. "I regret loving you!" And again, "why couldn't I be your first choice!!"

I banged on the door countless times till I felt it start become swollen. I let my head down and let the tears fall to the ground. I felt weak. I was weak. I watched the guy I fall in love with pick another girl over me.

"Why couldn't I be better.."

Ethan's POV:

I heard her screams.

Her sobs.

The way she banged on the door.

I sat on her porch against the door. I couldn't leave. I turned back around and parked a block away so she wouldn't see my car in the driveway and make me leave. As much as I wanted too, I couldn't. I couldn't leave without her knowing how much I wanted her.

I jumped with each scream and pound as she let out cries. The pain and hurt in her voice made my body drain.

"Why do you have to live in happiness while I have to cry myself to sleep!" Fuck what have I done. "Screw you Dolan!"

I hated the way she cried. But I hate it the most when I'm the reason she's in pain. She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until you could slowly hear it fade. Which made me worry.

I quickly stood on my feet and turned facing the door. I was hesitant. What if she realized I had been sitting on her porch the whole time and was waiting to come beat me with a stick. Or what if she did something that could be completely undone.

The last thought hit me in the chest.

I didn't hesitate to open the door, but I slowly did just in case. As I opened it, I saw her sitting on the ground with her back against the wall, sleeping. Her face was red and dried with tears, her lips were chapped as she slowly inhaled in her nose and exhaled out her mouth.

Why did I hurt her.

I kneeled down in front of her, and slowly picked her up bridal style. I wrapped her arms around my neck as her head rested on my shoulder.

I carried her up the stairs and into her room. I looked around and noticed how messy it was. Her bed was unmade, pillows and clothes on the ground, and glass almost everywhere. As I examined more, the picture frames weren't where they were.

I slowly and gently laid her on her bed. But when I tried to untie her arms from around my neck, her eyes fluttered open and her eyes immediately met mine.

"Why'd you do it Ethan?" I sighed, slowly loosing her arms from around me. I squatted next to her to be face level and looked her in the eyes. "I don't know princess."

She sniffled and let a single tear out, but I quickly wiped it away with the pad of my thumb.

"I love you and I always did Ethan. I always will." I stared her in the eyes, trying to hold in the tears. She took my hand in hers and squeezed it. "Did I do something wrong? Was I not satisfying you?"

I squeezed her hand back and rubbed my thumb across her hand. I looked down at it for a second, but looked back up at her. "You're perfect. But I fucked up baby."

I let go of her hand and stood up, making her sit up. She grabbed my arm and bit her bottom lip. "I don't want you to leave Ethan. I love you!" She cried.

I looked at her for a second, before going down and planting a soft kiss on her forehead. She let out a deep breath as if she's been holding it in for hours. I stood back up and gently shook her hand off my arm.

"And I will always love you. But I hurt you too much. I can't stand it." "But I-" I cut her off, "don't princess." I couldn't hold it in anymore and let a few tears escape. I didn't wanna let her go, but I wanted her happy.

"My love for you will never end. I promise that." She lets her tears free fall as she gripped her sheets. I kneeled down to face level and we stared at each other for what seemed like forever.

"I promise, we will be together again. Maybe in the next couple months or years. Hell maybe in the next life. But I know, that I am not gonna quit being in love with you." She slowly nodded her head letting more tears escape. I took her hand in mine, and gently placed a kiss on it.

I stood up and slowly let go of her hand. And that shit hurt me thinking about not being able to hold it again.

I walked towards her door, but took one last look at her before leaving the room. Her face wet with tears as her whole body quivered. She gripped her sheets even tighter, and bit her bottom lip.

I turned back around, out her room, and closed her door. Her sobs weren't as loud, but these were the kind where she tried to keep them as low as possible.

Walking out of her house made me realize something that my mind has never been able to wrap around ever since this whole thing started.

And that is, she'll always be my first choice. No matter what. And I was always in love with her.