Heavy Heart

Chapter 4

I spent all of Sunday with Jackie at her place. We made scones and muffins in the morning. It was always fun to have cooking days with her. We'd been friends for a long time, I considered Jackie my best friend.

"So have you been to the greenhouse yet?" she asked me as she pulled the pork chops out of the fridge.

I nodded, "Yeah, I picked out pansies and snapdragons for my pots this year. I planted them yesterday, they look pretty nice. You will have to come over for drinks some night this week and we can sit out back, maybe light a fire."

Jackie smiled, "That sounds great. I was going to plant some things for my mom this year, but I don't think I'll have time. I barely have time to keep her alive." I offered her a caring smile, "Maybe it's time to think about homecare."

She shook her head, "We can't afford private homecare and she doesn't need full time anyway. I'm trying to convince her to move in with me. Then we could sell her house and that would take care of any extra expenses while I'm at work." I nodded, encouraging her to continue. Jackie let out a sigh, "However, she doesn't want to give up her independence yet. My mom wants to stay in her own house, on her terms."

I was chopping mushrooms and putting them into a bowl for the mushroom gravy. I paused for a moment and looked at her, "That kind of puts you in a rough spot though." She chuckled, "Tell me about it. She's stubborn, but it's her life. She's not so bad that I worry about her survival or anything but I just can't imagine she's comfortable."

I shrugged, "It's hard to give up your own space when you've had it for so long. They say growing old is not for the faint of heart." Jackie nodded, silently agreeing with me.

"I don't mind helping out with your mom, you know. Anything you need and I will be there. I can cook for her, clean on the weekends, doctor's appointments. Whatever." I offered. Jackie smiled at me, "That's Layla. I appreciate that. Honestly, I do ask you when I need help. Thanks."

I didn't have any family left. My dad had a heart attack when I was eight and my mom passed away four years after I graduated from high school. There wasn't much left for me in our little town, but I had inherited property and land from my mother. There were two sections of farm land which I rented out to a local farmer, which brought in a decent amount of income for me. I'd also inherited my family's home in town, which I sold to buy the smaller house I currently lived in. It wasn't so bad to be twenty-seven and debt free.

I cleared my throat before I spoke to Jackie, "You know, if you want, I could help you with the homecare. I've got the funds." She shook her head, "No, I don't want to take money from you. You do enough for us already, Layla. Thank you though." I nodded and dropped the subject. Money was a hard topic for Jackie. She knew I could afford it, but she was proud. I understood it.

We spent the day talking about life in general. She'd been dating a guy in the next town over for about six months. I'd met him, he seemed nice but he was nothing special. As we were packaging up the pork chops into single serve containers Jackie said, "He's alright, kind of boring though. It's not that I don't like Casey, but he has no ambition. He just wants to come over to my place, watch TV and have sex. He doesn't want to do anything with his life beyond working at the tire shop. I don't know, Casey is just... meh."

I laughed at her description, "It sounds like you are just using Casey as a seat filler until you find someone else." I told her. Jackie shrugged, "Maybe I am. He's a nice guy, honestly he is. He just doesn't say much. He does whatever I want to do, whatever I suggest. His family is nice. I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to find something wrong with him."

"If you aren't feeling it, you can't force it." I offered. She nodded, "True. Anyway, what about you, Layla? Anyone interested?" I shook my head, "No, no one at the moment." She nodded and continued ranting about how boring Casey was. I half listened as I thought about Friday night at the bar with my friends. I thought about how weird Zack had been. I was dreading going to work the next morning in case he decided to be mean. I'd already promised myself if that happened I would go to human resources but I didn't want to have to do that.

Jackie and I had made some pasta and sauce for ourselves before I went home after supper. I fed Mr. Fuzz and watched some reruns of CSI: Miami. After a couple of episodes I went to bed and sent up a silent prayer that Zack wouldn't be rude to me the next morning at work. I didn't want a repeat of highschool bullshit, I was too old for that.