Heavy Heart

Chapter 20

Zack knocked on my front door about twenty minutes after I got home. I pulled him into my arms and let the door swing closed behind us. He kissed me over and over as we shuffled to my bedroom. His hands explored my body gently as I slipped my tongue into his mouth.

I moaned into his mouth and whispered, "Take off your pants cowboy." He shed his clothes in record time without breaking our kiss. I pushed him back onto my bed and climbed on top of him, I closed my hand around his erection and started to pump him lazily.

Zack's eyes glazed over as he lay back on my pillows and sighed, "Oh God, baby." I smirked as I lowered my face to his member and took him into my mouth. I heard him grunt loudly and shift his head to look down at me but I didn't look up. I took him quick and dirty, not giving Zack much time to savor. I sucked and pumped him until he exploded in my mouth. He was panting my name as he came hard.

After we were done I teased the head of his penis gently with my tongue, sending tremors up and down his spine. Zack whimpered and shook under my touch, which made me smirk. After a while I climbed up his body where I was met with a deep, passionate kiss. He cupped my face and rolled us over with him on top of me. Zack whispered against my lips, "You are amazing, baby." I giggled and shrugged.

Zack slid down my body, pausing at my jeans. He unzipped them and pulled them off, leaving me only in my cotton underwear. I realized I hadn't put on a sexy pair that night, and started to blush and covered my face. He smiled up at me as he slid my underwear down my legs slowly. Zack kissed my inner thighs and trailed up to my folds. I sucked in a deep breath as his lips came into contact with my clit.

"Layla, you are so beautiful." he whispered against my sex, I exhaled slowly as he started to lick and kiss me. I could tell he didn't have a lot of experience performing oral sex on women. He was clumsy and nervous, but I moaned loudly to assure him I was enjoying it. It took me a long time to come to orgasm but Zack was determined to get me there. When I came I let him hear me, I cried out his name and rocked my hips against his face. I could tell he was tired, but he looked up at me with a sweet smile.

Zack climbed up next to me and wrapped me up in a tight hug. I sighed and leaned into his chest. He whispered into my hair, "Sorry, I know I'm not very good at that." I shook my head, "Practice makes perfect."

He let out a loud laugh, and nodded, "Alright baby, that sounds good." After a while of laying in the afterglow Zack asked, "You are pretty good at blowjobs..."

My body went rigid at his words, I said, "Yeah, and..." He shrugged, "I was just wondering how many guys you have done this with."

I pushed him away and climbed out of my bed. Zack cleared his throat and tried to pull me back, "Layla, I don't mean it in a bad way. I'm just wondering how many partners you have had. Since we are in a relationship we should probably talk about stuff like that. I'll even go first, I have been with three women. Four if you count my highschool girlfriend who I never had sex with but we did everything else."

I stood up from the bed and pulled my top and bra off. After I put my dirty clothes in my hamper I pulled my nightgown on. I was avoiding this conversation with Zack, I didn't want to talk about it. However, he wasn't wrong, we should probably talk about it.

"Come on, Layla. This is an adult conversation and we are both adults. We should talk about it." he told me. I sighed and reluctantly nodded, Zack was right.

I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath, "I have never had penetrative sex with anyone, as you know. I have had oral sex with about twenty men and hand stuff with twenty-five." Zack's eyes grew and his mouth fell open. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. I knew he would react that way, I could feel him judging me for my choices. I saw his face contort into disbelief before he spoke, "Are you serious?"

I nodded, "And I'm not ashamed of it. I am a healthy woman with a sexual appetite so I have acted on it. I don't advertise it because this is a small town and I don't need the entire place talking about me. I have had a lot of sex in my life and I am comfortable with it." Zack stared at me and took a deep breath, "You've got more experience then I do." That thought seemed to baffle him.

"Yes and no. I have never had penetrative sex." I reminded him. Zack shook his head, "That is a minor detail. You still have more experience. You know more about sex then I do."

I sighed, "You say that like it's a bad thing." I hissed. He shook his head quickly, "No, it's not, Layla. I just wasn't expecting it." I glared at him, "Why? Because I am fat? Because I am overweight no one would want me? Is that it?"

My tone came out harsh but I had meant it to. Zack was looking at me like it was impossible for me to have that many different men want me. He sighed, choosing his words carefully before he spoke, "I guess I didn't expect you to tell me such a high number. I'm not going to lie to you, I am shocked. I guess some of it has to do with your size but not all of it. I find you incredibly desirable so it makes sense that other men would want you the same way. I know it makes me sound like an ass, and I'm sorry for that."

He didn't give me a chance to speak before he continued, "More than anything it makes me a bit self-conscious. With that many different lovers, you would know what is good and what isn't. I wonder if I'm even in the top ten, because you would know if I was doing a good job or not. I mean it's not like you don't have options."

My anger melted away when I realized he wasn't judging me. Zack was worried he wasn't doing a good job in bed. I smiled at him and crawled up next to him on my bed, I kissed him softly and told him, "You are wonderful. I like everything you do to me. I don't compare my partners with each other, because each person is different. If it makes any sense, they are wonderful in their own way." I tried to reassure him that I wasn't comparing him to the other guys because truthfully I wasn't.

Zack chuckled, "I believe that. I just want to be the best you've ever had." I rolled my eyes and smiled softly, "Boys are so competitive."

He nodded, "We are. We all want to be the best at work, the best at kissing, the best in bed. I know it's silly and maybe a bit immature but I still want to be the best for you."

I ran my fingers through his hair and bit my lower lip. I wanted to offer him something I'd never offered to anyone else, I wanted to offer him exclusivity. I'd been thinking about it for a while. Zack was a wonderful man, I adored him and I wanted to be his and for him to be mine, just us. I smiled as I spoke, "Zack, will you be my boyfriend?"

He pulled back slightly and stared at me, "Are you serious? Because if that is a joke it's not funny." I nodded my head, "I want to be your girlfriend, exclusively and for you to be my boyfriend, exclusively. What do you say?"

Zack barely let me finish before he pulled me into a rough kiss. His arms wrapped around me as his mouth moved over mine. I moaned softly and smiled against his lips. He whispered in a husky voice, "Yes, Layla, yes." We tangled ourselves in each other's arms, wrapped up in my blankets which felt like bliss.