Heavy Heart

Chapter 26

The remainder of the story will be from Layla's point of view.

I went to work on Monday expecting to find Zack waiting for me. He wasn't. His truck was in the parking lot but he had already gone into the factory by the time I arrived. At first, I didn't think much of it and just went to my locker, clocked in and started work. Maybe he had an early day.

Then lunch time came, and he didn't come down to the break room with us. Hannah, Lisa, Brock and I ate our lunch together but Zack never showed up. I asked Brock where his friend was, but he said he didn't know. I frowned at that, and sent Zack a text, asking him where he was. All I got back was 'busy', which didn't explain anything to me. I didn't see him at all for the rest of the day.

I sent him another text after supper, asking if he wanted to come over. He replied with a simple 'no, thanks', I asked why and he didn't respond. This went on for three days. I'd text Zack, he would reply that he was too busy or he didn't feel like coming over. I was getting frustrated because he wasn't even trying to talk to me.

I figured he was embarrassed about liking anal play and he didn't know how to talk about it. I thought Zack was being immature and silly so after a while I decided to just ignore him. If he wanted to talk to me like an adult, he could come and find me. Otherwise, I wasn't about to chase his silly ass all over the place. I had enough to do.

The week passed quietly at my place. Mr. Fuzz and I got our entire bed back to just ourselves. At first, I liked it. I liked the space. I enjoyed the quiet. I liked not having someone around all the time to steal the remote or eat the last helping of supper. I liked having my entire bed to myself, without someone else stealing all the covers. It was nice.

However, by the time Sunday morning rolled around I realized I missed Zack. I missed the sweet nothings he would whisper in my ears when I woke up. I missed the way he would make me laugh. I missed the way I smiled when I was with him. I wasn't unhappy by myself, I liked my alone time. I wasn't the kind of girl who needed a man to feel complete. I didn't need Zack to be happy, but I wanted him. I made myself a pot of coffee and decided I had to talk to him.

I filled a travel mug and headed over to his mom's house. She was already up and in the yard sweeping the leaves off her steps. Mrs. Trulley smiled at me as I turned off my car and opened my door. As I crossed the boulevard to the sidewalk, she called to me, "Good morning, Layla. I haven't seen you in ages! How are you?".

"I'm good, Mrs. Trulley. How are you?" I asked. She set her broom down and wiped her hands on her jeans, "Oh, I'm good. Nothing too exciting around here. The arthritis is getting pretty bad, I don't think I could keep this place if Zack didn't live with me." I cocked my head to the side. It had never occurred to me that Zack lived with his mom because she wanted him to. I'd always assumed he was just too lazy to move out because his mom did everything for him.

I took a sip of my mug, "Oh, I didn't realize you had arthritis." She chuckled, "Oh yes. It's really bad in my neck and spine. Anything I can't do upright, I can't do. It's damn annoying really." I chuckled and nodded along with her.

"So I assume you are here to see my son." Mrs. Trulley stated matter-of-factly. I felt myself blush slightly and nodded slowly. She smiled knowingly at me and told me he was in the backyard raking up the leaves. I walked around the lawn to the back fence and let myself in. I saw Zack against the fence, his back was to me. He was raking up under the fence line.

For some reason I was nervous. My stomach was full of butterflies for the first time in a long time. I swallowed hard before I called out to him, "So, you won't answer my texts with anything more than one word, so I'm here to talk." Zack spun around, wide eyed. He tightened his grip on the rake and bit his lower lip. I crossed the distance between us. When we were about four feet apart I noticed he was trying to avoid my eyes. He was nervous as well.

I rolled my eyes, "Since you are not mature enough to talk to me, I'll go first. I'm assuming you are embarrassed that you like ass play and didn't know how to handle it so you started to act all distant and childish. Well let me save you some time. No, it doesn't make you gay, a lot of guys like it and they don't like dick. I've been with a few guys who liked it, so relax." I waited for Zack to say something, but he didn't reply to me. Instead he just raised his eyes to meet mine.

"Big deal, you like to be fingered. No one cares." I muttered. He nodded and asked, "Are you done?" I frowned at him, "Well, don't you have anything to say?" Zack sighed, "Since you have me all figured out, what else is there for me to say? You've just told me how I feel so you've made up your mind."

I scoffed, "You wouldn't talk to me so what was I supposed to think?" Zack sighed heavily and set the rake down against the fence, "You could have asked me." I froze for a moment, I thought I had asked him how he felt but then I realized I hadn't. I blinked a couple of times and muttered, "Well, you could have just told me what was going on. So tell me now."

Zack took off his work gloves and walked over to the back steps of the deck. He gestured for me to follow him. I followed him but I stayed standing in front of him with my arms crossed over my chest while he sat down. I was hovering over him, with space between us. He rested his arms casually over his knees as he spoke, "Layla, that night I shared something with you that I've never shared with anyone else. It was intense for me. I felt really vulnerable and I trusted you enough to go there. Then the next morning you kicked me out of your house like I was nothing. That's what this is about, it's not about being ashamed or embarrassed. I'm not at all, I don't think I'm gay just because I like anal play." He paused for a moment before he swallowed a ball in his throat and continued, "You keep reminding me that you've been with other guys who liked anal play, which just reminds me that I'm nothing special to you. I know for you, it's not as big of a deal but for me it meant a lot more. It's obvious to me that I have deeper feelings for you than you do for me. I mean, you kicked me out the next morning like I was some kind of one-night stand. It hurt a lot."

I sucked in a deep breath and stared at him. As his words sunk in, I thought back to that morning. I'd been annoyed at myself because I woke up late and I had a lot of things to get ready before my work week. At the time I hadn't considered that Zack had any strong feelings about what we'd done, I figured he was just excited that he'd gotten to try something wild like most guys were. It had never occurred to me that he viewed what we'd done as intimate. In my haste to get on with my day, I'd told him to leave just like I'd done every other time.

"I had no idea you felt that way." I whispered. I wasn't sure what else to say. Zack stared at me, he seemed to be waiting for me to say something else. I stared back at him for a moment, "I guess I should have been nicer to you. It won't happen again." He took in a deep breath and sighed heavily, "Baby, it happens all the time. Everything about our relationship is on your terms, none of it is on mine. I'm at your beck and call. At first I was fine with that because I wanted you to trust me but now it's like you just want me when it's convenient. I'm not a toy you can pull off the shelf and play with until you are bored with me."

I frowned at him, "I don't treat you like a toy!" Zack chuckled and shook his head, "Yes you do. You call me when you want me and kick me out when you are done with me. It's always on your terms. When you asked me to be exclusive I thought that would mean we would be more equal but after that night I realized it didn't. You treat me like an object." I rolled my eyes, "No I don't!"

"Yes, Layla, you do. And I want to mean more to you than that." Zack told me harshly. I looked away from him for a moment before I glared back at him. I didn't know what to say. I'd never had a guy talk about his feelings this much with me. Zack was expressing himself and I wasn't sure what to say. For the first time, I felt like the roles of our relationship were reversed; I was the bully and he was the overly sensitive one. Our eyes locked together as we both waited for the other to speak again.