Heavy Heart

Chapter 37

The next two weeks went by quietly for the most part. Work was a bit slow due to colder weather. There was no overtime. Christmas was just around the corner, for the first time in a long time I had to do some real shopping. I had to get Zack a present, and I had no idea what to get him. He told me I didn't need to worry about it but I knew that was a fib. I had a sneaking suspicion he'd already picked out some things to get me and I couldn't let that go.

My appointment date came and I made the trip to the city. The roads were a bit icy but nothing I couldn't handle. I knew that trip was the perfect time to get Christmas gifts. I planned to go to my appointment first then the outlet mall on the way out of the city. Lisa and Tammy had both asked me to pick up some toilet paper for them at Costco so I made plans to go there last. I arrived at the clinic early because parking downtown was a pain in the ass. The parking cops were ruthless if you didn't plug the meter and it took me almost twenty minutes to find a spot.

I finally got into the building, signed in and waited for my turn. When Cindy came to get me she offered me a big smile, "Layla, it's nice to see you."

I followed her to the examination room where she closed the door and we sat down. I explained that I wanted an IUD as I was planning on being penetrated by my partner with his penis. Cindy smiled, she always thought it was interesting that I clarified it so much with her. Most women don't make the differentiations but I was sexually active without penile penetration. I'd been through enough embarrassing conversations with ignorant doctors before I found Cindy so I was always very clear about what my sex life involved. She had booked me in for a pap test that day which we got out of the way first. Then we discussed the options of birth control.

"Well, there are birth control pills but that means you have to take something each day or do an injection. However, it sounds like you are pretty sure about the IUD. When was the end of your last period?" Cindy asked me. I thought back for a moment, "Nine days ago." She nodded, "Alright, we are in a good spot to implant today if you want. It will become effective immediately but I would still suggest using condoms for the month just to ensure the implant took properly."

I smiled, "Alright. Let's do it." The procedure took about ten minutes, just I was still a bit tender from the pap test. Cindy was always very considerate with discomfort. She gave me several pamphlets about the IUD I'd received and told me to call her if I experienced any bleeding or discomfort. After my appointment I paid the bill and left.

I drove to the mall and staked out the shops. Early Christmas shoppers were already out and about with bags and packages in hand. I decided to start at the HomeSense store for Tammy. Though we hadn't discussed it I suspected she would buy me a gift for the holidays. We'd become closer and though she was still a bit apprehensive about me I knew she was trying. I could understand where she was coming from. In many ways, Zack was her entire support system as well as her only child. It made sense for her to want to protect him with everything she had.

There were so many random household items in HomeSense, I knew I would find something for Tammy. I settled on two one thousand piece puzzles and a warm, soft blanket. It was a very safe 'mother-in-law' gift, especially for our first Christmas together. I found a few fun pairs of socks for Jackie. She and I always exchanged funky socks for Christmas. It was a cute, inexpensive gift we would actually use. I debated getting Lisa and Hannah anything but decided I would just give them each a bottle of alcohol instead.

All I had left was Zack, and I knew I wasn't going to find anything for him in that store. I left with my bags and went next door to Best Buy. The sales clerks were on their game that day, I had been greeted four times before I was able to make it to the back of the store. It was the season for big technology sales items. I looked around, but everything either seemed like it was too much or not enough. A tablet was way too much, he didn't need a T.V.

Finally I found some headphones and I decided to get him some Bose wireless earbuds. He could wear them at work on the floor, in the yard, when he exercised, really all the time. Zack had a pair he used all the time but they had come free with his phone and he loved those. Bose made some of the best headphones so I was sure he would jump for joy at my purchase. I left Best Buy happy with myself.

I hit up the Costco before I headed home. Zack texted me while he was on his break, sending me a very cute picture of himself in his white hard hat. He had a bit of a beard, which I had to admit looked kind of sexy. He'd told me he was going to grow one, but he had no intention to go all the way to Duck Dynasty style. Rather a groomed, snazzy style closer to this face. When Zack had told me about his plan I'd shrugged but now that I saw it in real life I found it rugged and sexy.

I send him some heart smiley faces, with the promise of some sexy time later. Zack sent me a 'lol' and a smiley face. He told me I was missed during lunch, that Hannah and Lisa still weren't sitting together or talking and it was awkward. That made me frown. I let Zack know I was hitting the road towards home, I invited him over to my place for supper.

The entire drive home I thought about Lisa and Hannah. They had been friends for a long time, before they'd become romantically involved. It made me wonder if their friendship could be salvaged. The thought of us not being able to hang out together made me sad. I knew it wasn't technically any of my business but I wondered if Hannah was sure she didn't want to give Lisa a real try. I didn't know anything about being gay, but I knew what it was like to have a secret relationship. I knew what it was like to care about someone and be afraid of what it meant. I knew what it was like to love someone and being afraid of what that meant.