Too far gone to pray

Chapter twelve

Harry's POV

Everything was going wrong. He kept apologizing to Louis, but it wasn't a mistake. How could something so good be a mistake. Louis may have regretted it, but he didn't, he couldn't. He isn't ashamed of who he is. He isn't ashamed of who he loves. He wished that Louis could feel the same as he does. One kiss and Louis prayed in church for over twelve hours. Nobody should ever feel like that. Nobody should be ashamed of who they are.

Harry got out of the bed that morning, with a sigh. He didn't want to do this; how could he face Louis at school. Louis was in full panic shut down mode, there was no way to get to him now. Louis didn't feel the spark he felt, Louis wasn't gay like he was. He lost Louis; he lost his friend.

He took a quick shower then put on his uniform. Everything was usual, everything was normal. Except it wasn't. He felt terrible for kissing Louis, and he felt terrible for trying and failing to talk to him at church. It was like he changed overnight. Louis went from having fun with him to freaking out, now Louis is praying. Freaking out was fine, but the praying wasn't. Louis was praying for God knows what.

He grabbed a quick breakfast before heading of to school. He didn't want to talk to his mum this morning, he had too much on his mind. He walked to school, and when he arrived, he went straight to the chapel to look for Louis. He burst through the chapel doors and there was no one there but an old nun. He apologized for the intrusion and left the chapel. He looked around the school, but Louis was nowhere to be scene.

He found the boys waiting for him at his locker.

"Where have you been" Niall asked.

"I was looking for Louis" he said sighing a little.

"Is it about whatever happened at the party on Saturday" Liam asked.

"Kind of, okay yeah" he said.

"What happened" Zayn asked.

"I kissed him" he whispered.

"What" Niall yelled gaining the attention from some of the other students in the hallway.

"Shhh" he said.

"You kissed him" Liam said confused.

"Yes, but don't tell anyone" he said.

"What did he do, what did he say" Niall questioned.

"Uh well, he didn't back away at first then he freaked out, and now he is praying" he explained.

"Praying" Zayn questioned.

"He stayed in church for over twelve hours yesterday praying" he said.

"Shit" Zayn said.

"I apologized, and he said he just wants to forget it" he said.

"But you don't want to forget it, do you" Liam asked.

He gave Liam a look that said it all. He didn't want to forget the kiss. The kiss was the best he had eve had. The kiss wasn't long, but it was electric. It was like they were meant to be, but they weren't. Louis wasn't gay, and this wasn't a fairytale.

He went to his classes looking around to try and find Louis. It was no use though, Louis disappeared like a ghost. His only hope of finding Louis was in either gym class or religious education class. He didn't know what to say or do, but he had to do something. He couldn't deal with this silent distant thing. He couldn't just throw away his feelings like Louis could.

Lunch rolled around, and he went to lunch with Zayn as usual. He got his lunch with Niall and sat down at their usual table. He was a bit mopey, and everyone noticed. He hardly ate due to his mind racing trying to figure out how and when to talk to Louis.