Too far gone to pray

Chapter eleven

Louis' POV

He woke up at five in the morning to his blaring alarm, like he was supposed to. His head ached and his arms seared with pain. He dragged himself out of bed to take a shower. The gory scene from last night was still in the shower. He sighed looking at the horrific scene in front of him. He scrubbed away the evidence, nobody needed to know about it. The crimson blood was hard to scrub away, but eventually it all washed away down the drain.

When he took his shower, he watched as the water ran through his many cuts. He shouldn't have done that; he knew it was wrong. He just couldn't stand it anymore. Everything was going to hell; he was going to hell.

After taking his shower, he got ready like normal. He decided to move on and pretend like nothing happened. He was used to pretending like nothing happened. He decided to skip his everyday run because he just felt too weak to run.

He changed into his church clothes and fixed his hair into a neat quiff. After getting ready he went downstairs to have breakfast. He was in no mood to fight this morning, so he ate his normal plain cereal.

He sat at the kitchen table eating his cereal, with his sisters surrounding him. Daisy and Phoebe were too busy eating their waffles to notice him sit down at the table. Lottie and Fizzy kept staring at him expecting him to say something about last night. He didn't say anything though, he just ate in silence. He didn't know what to say about last night. He locked them out, that's all they know. They don't know everything else that happened.

"What happened last night" Fizzy asked him.

"I have no clue what you are talking about" he responded getting up to put his bowl in the sink.

"Yes, you do" Fizzy insisted.

"No, I don't" he argued back.

Avoidance was something he was good at. If he pretended that nothing had happened, it would be as if it hadn't happened at all. Avoidance, avoidance was key. The key to getting through this dreadful thing called life was avoidance.

He put his shoes on and got in the family car so that they could all leave for church. The rest of his family came soon after, and they went to church. While his father drove them to church he kept looking in the rearview mirror at him.

"So, Louis, where were you last night" his father asked.

"I had to do a school project" he responded.

"Huh sure" his father said skeptically.

"Yeah, it was a really big science project, it took longer than I thought it would" he lied.

"Who was it with" his father asked.

"Eleanor Calder" he responded.

"Oh, she is a lovely girl isn't she" his mother said.

"Yeah" he mumbled turning to look out the window at the passing scenery.

"I think you have a lot to pray about today don't you Louis" his father said.

"Yes father of course I do" he mumbled not taking his eyes off the window.

They drove to church the rest of the way in silence. All his siblings were too afraid to say the wrong thing and get in trouble. They arrived at church and were the first ones there, like always. The priest wasn't even at the church yet. His father had a set of keys to the church because their family helped set up for church.

He and his siblings helped set up everything for mass like they always did. After they were done they went to their usual pew in the front and sat down. He kneeled and prayed, prayed like he had never prayed before.