Resurrection

Saying Goodbye

"Alex," I called her name softly.

She was sitting in front of Max's tombstone, staring at it with a blank face. Her tears had ran out an hour ago and ever since then, she has not said one word. I laid a hand on her shoulder and felt how tense she was.

"It's been over five hours," I told her.

"10 more minutes," she mumbled, her voice sounded hoarse from the cries she let out.

I sighed, "You said that an hour ago."

"I said 10 minutes!" she shouted.

I sat down next to her and stared at Max's name on the tombstone.

"If I had knew that it was going to be the last time I saw him, I would have told him how I felt," she swallowed hard, "I wouldn't have let him use himself as bait. I could have stopped him and found another way, a better way, to help you."

"This isn't your fault," I told her.

"Yes it is," she argued.

"No it isn't!" I exclaimed, "There was no better way to help me out of there and he knew that. You couldn't have convinced him to change his mind because he was such a stubborn asshole. He-"

I couldn't continue anymore because my throat became tight. I was trying so hard to fight back the tears, and I realized that sometimes it was okay to cry. It didn't show weakness but strength. It showed that I overcame an obstacle, well a few obstacles.

Alex grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly.

"He was really a stubborn asshole," she agreed bitterly and I laughed through my tears.

I pulled out the vial that Max gave me before he died.

"Is that-"

"Yeah," I answered her question before she could finish it, "Max retrieved it and gave it to me before he died."

"Are you going to drink it?" she asked.

I shook my head, "No."

"Well what are you going to do with it?" she questioned.

I looked down at the vial and sighed, "I'll figure something out."

We finally left the cemetery and I felt relieved that I didn't have to stay there any longer. I know he was gone now, but looking at his tombstone for hours wasn't going to change anything. Letting him go was the hardest thing to do, but it was for the best.

"Where are you going?" Alex asked when I grabbed my keys and headed towards the front door.

I turned around to look at her with sad eyes, "To say goodbye."

Then I left the hotel and drove to where I knew he was staying at. There were paparazzi and fans outside the hotel, so I drove around back. The back door was locked, but I successfully picked the lock. I went to his room, which was on the fifth floor, and I knocked on his door.

"I'll be there in a second," he yelled out from inside.

My stomach were in knots, and my hands were clammy. My mouth ran dry when I realized what I was about to do. I didn't want to, but it was the right thing to do. Then I could hear his footsteps coming closer and my heart pumped faster until he opened the door. My heart stopped and my breath got caught in my throat.

His shirt was wet at the shoulders because drops of water from his wet hair fell on his shirt. Some of his hair covered his part of his eye and his forehead and I then noticed how long his hair had gotten.

"Ava," My name left his mouth in a soft voice. He looked surprised to see me standing here. Then he pulled me into a tight hug, "I thought you had already left but you're still here. You're still here."

I refrained from letting all my tears out right there and pulled away from the comfort in his arms.

"I came here to say goodbye, Louis," I told him.

He stepped back, "What do you mean?"

"I am not a normal person, Louis," I started to explain, "I have something in me that is too dangerous. I can't be around you, knowing that there might be some people who will come after me. I will not put you in that position again. You have a life, a good life, and you shouldn't throw that away to be with me. I don't think we were ever supposed to be together."

"No," he shook his head and grabbed both of my shoulders, "We are meant to be together. There is always going to be something that tries to pull us apart, but he have to fight back against it. Isn't that what's part of being in a relationship with someone? That you fight back for the person you love?"

I stepped away from him and sighed out, frustrated, "I am fighting back! I'm fighting back the feelings I feel in my chest that keeps on crawling up, tempting me to just forget the world and be with you. I can't do that though because that would mean I'm putting you in danger, and I will never forgive myself if I was the reason you died. I am doing what's best for us, Louis. Please don't try to change that."

"But what if I want to forget the world and be with you?" he stepped closer to me and stroked my cheeks with his thumb. I closed my eyes for a second, taking in the feeling that his touch gave me, "What if I don't care about the risks and the dangers?"

"But you do care," I gently pulled his hand away from me and put it at his sides, "You have a family, friends, and fans that care about you and you care about them. You can't leave them, and I won't let you."

"But I'll miss you," he whispered.

"I'll miss you too," I half-smiled at him, "But eventually, we'll move on."

I leaned my head up and pushed my lips against his. This kiss was gentle and passionate. I savored this moment. I savored the taste of his lips. I savored the warmness and softness his lips felt against mine. I savored our last kiss.

"I love you, Louis Tomlinson," I whispered when we pulled away.

"I wish things could be different," he sighed, "I love you so much."

Then I walked away. It was painful, but I did it. When I was driving away from the hotel, I could feel an empty hole in my chest. It felt like it was getting wider the more distance I put between him and me. I don't think this was ever going to go away. Maybe it will get better, but it will never go away. He was my first love after all.

Before I drove back to the hotel I was staying at, I stopped at a bridge. I got out of my car and looked down at the deep water under the bridge. Pulling the vial out of my pockets, I stared at it one last time. I could just drink it so that I could remember everything, but I didn't want to. The reason why I went to the CIA several years ago was so that I could forget about my past. If I did that then that must mean the past was so painful I wanted to do anything to forget it. I don't want to endure any more pain even if there were some good memories in there. If I do suddenly remember everything one day then I will deal with that then.

I unscrewed the top of the vial and slowly poured the white substance out of it. I watched it fall into the deep blue water and felt a tear slide down my cheek.

I got back to the hotel and went to the room Alex and I were staying in. I could hear the shower running when I entered. The television was on also and it was on the news channel.

"There has been leaked files of a black operation named Project Realms that was created by Nick Marsters, the CIA Director. The files contained information about the CIA creating a substance that could make humans into very intelligent and strong super beings. They've had one success, but that person escaped the CIA when she was kidnapped by them and trapped on an island for four years. It was possible that this substance could have caused a war between other countries such as Russia, North Korea, and even Iran. Nick has not said anything about the subject yet and has resigned."