𝙐𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 -DNF

Tweleve

Another day another chapter

My dad walked in on me singing wtfff

TW's
Mentions of eating disorder
Self harm mentions
Anxiety mentions
Depression mentions

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

George's POV:

I sat down in my chair, I started brainstorming ideas of how I could maybe find self confidence, I really didn't want to stay the way I am anymore, my habits are bad already. The music coming from my phone gave me an idea, I grabbed my phone and deleted all my sad playlists. I made a new playlist called 'new beginnings'

( also I just made this playlist on my Spotify look it up my Spotify is 'Ghvstly')

I added all my favorite songs to the playlist that wasn't sad. It made me feel kind of better about everything, maybe life isn't so bad. Maybe things can get better. I put my phone down and went to my bathroom, maybe I could point out the things I do like about myself. I think my face looks somewhat decent, but that's better than thinking it looks like absolute donkey shit.

I walked out of my bathroom and pulled out a canvas, I drew my problems into little mushrooms. One mushroom black, depression, dark blue anxiety, dark red for my self harm, and a warm green for my eating disorder. The mushrooms looked so colorful and some scary. I got a pushpin out of my bin of sharp things and pinned it to my wall, I looked over at the Polaroids hanging from my fairy lights, they were a good addition to the Polaroids.

I looked over at my art wall filled with pictures that go from colorful to warm colors to dark colors to just amazingly beautiful colors, I couldn't see colors correctly and that's what made everything more interesting. My colorblindness is called protan, it's a red green colorblindness I was born with it. I have had artistic skills ever since I was a little boy, I was self thought since I was pretty creative.

My whole family didn't like painting, coloring, and or drawing. But I had found comfort in being very creative when it came to making an art piece, it calmed me down in some way and took away my anxiety to say the least. I took my sketchbook out from my desk drawer and started sketching out some person that I did not know of. I ended up sketching a man, he looked a lot like Clay from school but it might just be the fact Clay looked like one of your typical high-school football kids.

I closed my sketchbook and put it away, sighing. My phone buzzed with a notification, my phone had to update. What did I expect anyway? I don't have many friends. My only friend was Clay, but then again I didn't really want to be friends with him after all. My phone immediately turned off and started updating on its own, I didn't mind of course.

I laid back down in my bed once again, maybe everything wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Clays POV:

Apparently George had blocked my number, I wondered why. Did he catch on to me trying to break his little fragile heart or did he just not like me anymore? That's a question I assumed wouldn't be answered until Monday. I looked around my room, it was painted a boring green, the walls were empty but filled with shelves of books that I never read. I had no interest in reading, it felt like such a waste of time. I wondered if George's heart could be shattered into millions of pieces like I expect or could he be able to fight away any feelings? He seems to have a problem of expressing his feelings.

My cat patches clawed at my door, wanting in. Her loud meows could be heard from the other side of the door. I got out of my bed and opened my door, the cat rubbed against my legs wanting pets. I reached down and scooped the cat into my arms and pet her. Her fur was soft and silky. I set her down on my bed and pulled up Spotify. I shuffled my playlist and 'jealous started playing'.

You could have anyone you want
Why would you want to be with me?
I'm nothing special
You could have anyone you want
Why would you want to be with me?
You know, I'm nothing special
Be with whoever you want
I don't care, I don't care
I don't wanna know
Don't tell me about your problems
If you're not trying to solve them
Don't ask me for my help
Fix it yourself
She tried to call me yesterday
But I didn't pick up
'Cause I don't got time

Why do these lyrics kind of remind me of someone? My mind went through many people, landing on George. He avoided me ever since Friday. I had seen him in a supermarket on Saturday and he immediately left.

I don't have time
I don't have time
I don't have time
I don't have time (no)
Do whatever you want
I don't care, I don't care
Don't even tell me
I don't really wanna know
Don't ask me how's my day's been
I just wanna be alone
Stop talking about your past
I don't wanna hear it
Just leave me alone
Just go

I sighed, I felt like this song was too much.

Only care about myself
'Cause everyone's trying to hurt me
Just leave me alone
Just leave me alone
Just leave me alone
I just wanna be alone

Honestly I didn't want to compare these lyrics to George anymore, they were admitting they were selfish but George wasn't selfish at all he's just doing things for his own good. 'Taunt' by love joy started playing, I have never heard this one before but it sounds good.

(Taunt is my favorite song omg)

She's always asking, "Am I alright?"
As if auspicious or in my pint
I'll find the answer or a good night
Thank God the time is short
And, yes, you always do that one thing
When you wrinkle up the nose bridge
I'm trying to figure out what that meant
I took it as a taunt
Remember way back then in school?
Oh, did anybody ever say no to you?
Oh, did anybody ever say no to you? Whoa
And I don't think I have a clue
'Cause, well, did anybody ever say no to you?
Oh, did anybody ever say no to you? Whoa

The melody rung through my ears, the beat felt angelic almost like it could make someone feel so chill but energized at the same time. Good job Lovejoy.

You're always trying to leave the table
Phone calls, toilet breaks, unstable
And don't you think that we can all tell?
You're insecure, you're insecure
I guess I always do that one thing
When I get too drunk and jump in
To figure out what makes your brain tick
I'm a listener, I'm a listener
Remember way back then in school?
'Cause, well, did anybody ever say no to you?
Oh, did anybody ever say no to you? Whoa
But I don't think I have a clue
'Cause, well, did anybody ever say no to you?
Oh, did anybody ever say no to you? Whoa
Woo

I think I wanna try something new with George...

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

(1239 words)

Vote? Thanks.