𝙐𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 -DNF

Thirteen

I wasn't posting because I didn't know how to spell thirthenene

TW's:

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Clays POV:

I kind of wanted to drop the idea of trying to break his heart, I feel a certain way towards George and I don't know how it is. Maybe I could try seeing if I have feelings for him, I never considered actually liking boys. Maybe an online quiz? It wouldn't be the best idea but it would be fun for the laughs. I pulled up a quiz of 'am I gay' and started answering the questions. As soon as I had reached the end of the questions I clicked see test results. '100% gay' the quiz has to be wrong, it's just a dumb quiz.. right?

I shut my laptop and put it on a table and sighed. I didn't like the thought of being gay, I was always taught it was a sin. My parents tried to raise me to be a homophobic Christian boy, I didn't like the thought of being homophobic. Whenever I would see a gay couple walking around I would secretly adore them in my head, but I could never imagine myself being gay. God am I really questioning myself being gay over a boy from my school?

I mean it wouldn't hurt to explore my sexuality, would it? Ugh I shouldn't be thinking this, I've been straight all my life. Why am I now just questioning my sexuality over some dumb boy? I groaned and flopped onto my bed. I buried my face into my pillow. Of course I've always had girlfriends but it's never been serious, I just didn't like the thought of dating girls I guess. Oh god am I gay? Or maybe bisexual? Pansexual?

I opened my phone and pulled Spotify up and played shuffle on my playlist.

I wear women's underwear
And then I go to strike a pose in my full length mirror
I cross my legs just like a queer
But my libido is strong when a lady is near, ya
What defines a straight man's straight?
Is it the boxer in the briefs or a 12 ounce steak?
I tell you what a women loves most
It's a man who can slap but can also stroke

Goin' in the wind is an eddy of the truth and it's naked
It's verbatim and it's shakin'
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no more gettin' elated
No more listless invitations

I wonder if I can try dating a boy for once just for a change. My head immediately goes to George, jeez I wonder what it would take to get with him.

I live by a hospital
And every day I go out walking past it's sickly windows
I see people dying there
But my tender age makes it hard to care
Incinerator and a big smoke stack
It's a phallic symbol and it makes me laugh
All I need is a heart attack
C'mon, humble my bones with a Cardiac

Goin' in the wind is an eddy of the truth and it's naked
It's verbatim and it's shakin'
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no more gettin' elated
No more listless invitations

I sigh and bring my head up from my pillow and lay on my back. I'm hungry.

For the love of fuck
For the sake of Pete
Did you ever really think you'd love a guy like me?
I am the rooster in the morning
I'm the cock of the day
I'm the boxer in the briefs
I'm a 12 ounce steak
Eh-oh, eh-oh, eh-oh, eh-oh
Ye-bo, ye-bo, ye-bo, ye-bo, ye-bo

The melody rings through my ears like it's suppose to live there. These lyrics are truly strange.

Ya, it's verbatim
And ya, and it's naked
And ya, and it's shakin'
It shakes, shakes, shakes
Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, oh-oh, yeah-yeah-yeah
Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, oh-oh, yeah-yeah-yeah
Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, oh-oh, yeah-yeah-yeah
Oh-oh, yeah-yeah