𝙐𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 -DNF

Twenty-five

Hola hola my phone is fixed!!!!1!1!1!
I really want to start writing a lot more n stuff

I hope you enjoy this after all the waiting <3

TW's:
Self harm mentions
Eating disorder mentions
Anxiety mentions
Panic attack mentions
Suicide mentions
And more angsty mentions

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Clay's POV:

"We're here,"

~

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Somewhere but remember you can't tell anyone," Jay spoke.

"Promise," I spoke.

Butterflies fluttering around, cloudy skies darkening the sky even more. Small sprinkles of raindrops fall from the sky as we walk over to a stone path. Jay leads me down to a waterfall, moonlight reflecting onto the clear water.

"Sit," Jay demands.

I sit down onto a pile of leaves. The leaves making crunch sounds as they get crushed by my weight. My bottom starts to get wet as I'm sitting on the damp grass. Jay disappears into the forest as I sit, wondering where they had went. About a minute later he comes back with a piece of paper.

Jay takes his phone out and turns the flash on as he hands me the paper. He shines the light onto the paper, making it easier to read in the dim lighting.

-
George tracker

Longest gone without eating: 2 weeks.

Bad habits and disorders: anxiety, eating disorders, self harm

Self harm areas: wrists, arms, thighs, stomach, shoulders, legs, feet.

Panic attacks: 63

Times cried: 9897

Attempted suicides: 2

Times hurt by others: 104

Times hurt by words: 4678

Bad and unhealthy thoughts: 14567

-

I couldn't believe my eyes. Why would George do any of this? I had kind of expected him to understand how harsh the world can be.

"Sorry if it seems kind of creepy. I have relationship records too. I even have records of your feelings. Every teen in this world has their feelings tracked by me," Jay said.

"But there's so many teens in this world how are you able to keep track of all their feelings?" I asked.

"Well there's different people who get chose to track everyone's feelings in the world and I was chose for Florida I guess," Jay said.

Jay sighed and sat down next to me.

"Sometimes it's hard to keep up with it all, especially when your life isn't perfect and you just have to sit back and watch the other people being the happiest they have ever been in their whole life as a teen. Yet you can barely survive alone all by yourself," Jay spoke.

"That's deep. Who hurt you?" I asked with very little sarcasm

"People, the world, my own self. I don't trust anyone, not even my own self. All I need is just some reassurance sometimes but no one cares enough to even ask how I'm feeling," Jay sighs.

"Damn, I hope things get better for you though, I'm always here. Well at least I can try I'm not that good with feelings," I offer.

"Thanks, I appreciate it," Jay says.

I shoot Jay a quick smile.

"You should head home, it's really late right now. Let's get going," Jay says as he stands up and offers me a hand.

I stand up and admire Jay one more time in the moonlight before I decide to head back home. They're really helpful and I just can't help but admire that. Maybe we could become good friends. I'm not the type to want friends but maybe they could be one to always have your back when you need a helping hand.

I slowly enter the house as I don't want to wake anyone up, especially my cat patches. I close the door and lock it and slide my shoes off. I slowly head to my room, not trying to make a noise.

"What are you doing up," a stern voice asks.

"Uh, I'm asleep?" I panic.

"You have school tomorrow, go to bed or else you're getting taken off that football team young man," The stern voice demands.

I immediately run right into my room, not wanting to be taken off the football team. I had always dreamed of being on the football team ever since I was a little kid, I didn't want to disappoint my younger self. I slid under my covers and closed my eyes, attempting to sleep.

I tossed and turned, not being able to sleep. Maybe some music would help. It always helps me calm down and sleep when I can't focus because of my ADHD. I grab my phone off my bedside table and opened Spotify. I pressed on my library and picked a playlist, pressing shuffle and setting my phone down onto my bedside table.

Devil town

Life's alright in devil town
Yeah, right, no one's gonna catch us now
Dad has bought a new car now
We're fine, no one's gonna catch us now
You said something dumb again
She's mad, at least that's what they say
Mum and daddy aren't in love
That's fine, I'll settle for two birthdays
Devil town is colder in the summertime
I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times
Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night
I still get a little scared of something new
But I feel a little safer when I'm with you
Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too
We're all dead in devil town
That's fine, 'cause nothing's gonna scare us now
We're all in our dressing gowns, mine's white
And stripey, yours is green and brown
I forgot my name again
I think that's something worth remembering
Spiders in your favourite shoes
Just leave them be 'cause they're more scared of you
Devil town is colder in the summertime
I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times
Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night
I still get a little scared of something new
But I feel a little safer when I'm with you
Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too
It's lovely in the evening-time
But every time I close my eyes
The sunshine gets a little dimmer, now
The clouds fall down
I sink my teeth into my fingers
Blossom swims across the river
How do you feel so proud?
Every time I close my eyes
The colours fade and change inside my mouth
It's all too loud
I sink my teeth into my fingers
Blood forms branches in the water
Devil town is colder in the summertime
I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times
Hold my hand tight, we'll make it another night
I still get a little scared of something new
But I feel a little safer when I'm with you
Falling doesn't feel so bad when I know you've fallen this way too

I finally fall asleep as the music comes to an end. Tomorrow I'm telling George about my feelings, for real this time.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

(1151 words)

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