Is this a way a boy should feel?

?Cuttting in my sleep¿

Tw this book contains
Blood
Abuse?
Self harm
Pills
Harmful words
And
Knifes

Travis's dream pov: I was laying in my bed like usually but it was pitch black I could barely see my room or anything around me. I saw a flashlight and turned on the lights. I then heard my dad stomping to my room. I didn't know why he was so upset he then slammed my door wide open holding me by the collar.

OH SO YOUR A GAY?!?
N-no farther...
YES U R YOU LITTLE SINNER!!

he then threw me on the floor and my floor quickly turned in to blue flowers. I didn't mind it but then the flowers turned black and red saying terrible things to me

Die!
Nobody wants u anyways....
Sinner!
Jump off a bridge for all we care.
You deserves nothing in life.
Sal doesn't even love u....
DIE!
SINNER!

I then began to cry with the words they were saying they hurt like I picked my finder on a roses thorn. I then saw a knife, water, and my pills. I then cried and unraveled my bandages and sliced my arms and then taking the pills. I felt so.... dizzy. I felt.... Happy. I then started randomly singing not knowing I was heading for a high cliff. I then jumped off with pride. Sal.... Remember me.

I then woke up. I was in utter shock and I thought it was just a dream but it wasn't there was blood all over my bed along with pills on the floor. T-that wasn't a dream? H-how? I began to curl up in a ball and cried with my blood stained arms. Why god. Why does it have to be me that lives this terrible life. I then cleaned up my horrific mess and just walked around my house I remember that is was Sunday but there was a note on the table.

"Travis it em your farther me and your mom would be gone till 1am so if you are hungry there is some food in the fridge just make sure you don't mess up the house bye Travis see u soon" -Kenneth

Oh dad great. Well I guess I have the whole house to my self. I then thought I should tell about what I've done but i heard something in my head just said "not to" I don't know why I even listened to it. I then walked into my room and saw my dress that sal got for me I decided to try it on as I put it on I felt somewhat happy. I knew it was wrong to wear a dress according to farther but I felt so pretty in this dress. I kinda liked it. Wow. Sal was kinda right about the gender roles in today's world.

I then heard sal call my phone I then picked up the phone.

Hi trav!
Oh hi sal.
What's wrong? Did you harm your self again...
N-no sal! I'm just didn't get enough sleep that's all thx for the concern tho sal.
Oh o-ok if u say so trav...
Also did u like the dress I've got u not to line and not to short just a dress that above the knees that's all.
Well it's very cute all thx.
Yw! Hey I gotta go trav see u soon!
Bey sal.
*hangs up*

I-I just lied to sal why did I do that?!? I shouldn't have done that. But im too nervous to call him now. Why. Why did I fucking lie to him?!?! I TRUST HIM WITH THESE THINGS NOT TO LIE TO HIM LIKE THAT?!?! *sigh* well I hope he doesn't know I've lied to him.
I'm deeply sorry sal...

Hey y'all this is the upcoming end of Thai book! I'm so happy that this book is almost complete! We'll have a good time reading the rest of the way!

Word count:662