The Threesome (Harley Quinn X Male Reader X Poison Ivy)

Finding Mr. Right

(Y/N) and Ivy where whistling a tune while cleaning the apartment, until Harley, Psycho and Clayface came in making it rain and making a mess.

Psycho: Damn, that was good!

Ivy: Who has two hands covered in unwashable ink? (Walking up to the two with a duffle bag full of cash.) Uh, this girl! We just made that bank our bitch!

She let it fall on the coffee table breaking it.

Ivy: (Annoyed.) Dude! That was a Noguchi coffee table.

Harley: Uh, sorry. But hey! (Taking cash from the duffle bag.) Now you can buy a bunch of 'em! (Making it rain.) Guch! Guch! Guch!

Ivy: You know you can just hand me some money. You don't have to make it rain.

Harley: (Screaming excitedly.) It's Noguchi!

Ivy sighed.

(Y/N): Want some nettles tea?

Ivy: Please.

The two walked towards the kitchen.

Harley: (Following them.) Oh, man. This was our best heist yet. (She stopped at the couch.) And we hit the perfect tone! Like, okay, everyone in the bank was super scared of us, but like not so much that they weren't also delighted when I just cartwheeled out. I'm sure everybody on the news is talkin' about it.

Clayface: (Grabbing the control.) I hope we didn't miss too much of the coverage.

He turned on the T.V.

Male Reporter #1: Batman stops Joker from robbing the credit union.

Psycho: Credit union? That's just a poor person bank. We robbed a real one with a vault, and money, and predatory lending practices!

Harley: No, the news probably did us first. Here, try Channel 7.

Clayface changed the channel.

Male Reporter #2: And Batman foils Joke-

Harley: (Grabbing the control.) Just let me look.

She changed the channel.

(Y/N): (From the kitchen.) Maybe you're the most compellin' story, so they're probably savin' ya for last.

Anchorwoman: And now our last and most compelling story.

Clayface: (While (Y/N) and Ivy walked towards them.) Enter, us!

Psycho: Turn up the volume!

Harley: (Turning up the volume.) It's about damn time.

Baby ferrets where shown in a box appeared on screen.

Anchorwoman: A cardboard box of baby ferrets has finally been returned to their rightful owners.

Ivy: Oh, boy.

Harley threw the control at the T.V. which cause the screen to shatter in pieces.

Ivy: You have been here two weeks and you have destroyed nine TVs.

(Y/N): Well that has to be a world record.

Harley: Sorry. I'm just pissed. (Sitting down.) Why aren't they talkin' about us?

Clayface: It should be our faces on that screen! (Looking at Harley.) We should be those ferrets!

Ivy: You guys, like, realize you're committing serious felonies, right? Like, you actually don't want people to know who you are.

Harley: Or No.

Ivy: No "or". I just gave you great advice.

(Y/N): It was worth a try Ive.