The Threesome (Harley Quinn X Male Reader X Poison Ivy)

A High Bar

At Ivy's apartment. (Y/N) and Harley were sitting on the couch watching cooking channel.

Harley: Ivy, no rush, but Howie Mandel's only showing how to turn Thanksgiving leftovers into an entire nativity scene.

(Y/N): Remember my grandma used to remade this?

Harley: Oh right she was the only one of your family that approved of me being your friend, how is she anyways?

(Y/N): Harley I haven't seen her in years.

Harley: What?

(Y/N): (Looking down; Downcasted.) After you left, a year later my family abandoned me, grandma tried keepin' me at her place, but they found out and sent me over here to Gotham where I was adopted.

Harley: (Quizzically.) Why didn't you say anything when we met again?

(Y/N): (Angrily.) I did, but you where so infatuated on- (Sighing and calming down.) Your jackass ex that you didn't even pay attention to what I said.

She kissed his cheek and laid her head on his lap.

Harley: (Looking up at him.) I'm sorry I was a dumbass and I- I was just blinded by his sick game.

(Y/N): It's fine we already dealt with him, we'll just leave it in the past.

Poison Ivy came out of the bathroom and walked to the kitchen she poured three cups of coffee and gave it to them and sat down.

Poison Ivy: (Taking a sip.) Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

Howie: Next, I'm gonna show you how to make a mashed potato Virgin Mary. (Looking to the side.) But first, please welcome- (Looking down while rubbing his neck.) My, uh, surprise co-host. (Looking back to the side while the camera panned back.) Uh, you know him as the clown prince of crime. (Looking distressed at the camera.) Let's give it up for the Joker!

Harley: Shit!

Ivy: Damn it.

(Y/N): Fuck

Frank: Ooh.

Joker: Get ready, America. (Putting a hand on Howie's shoulder.) Howie's got something he's dying to tell you.

He pulled Howie's apron off to reveal a suicide bomber's jacket.

Frank: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not Howie!

Howie: (Reading a note in distress.) You know what's stupid? Me, for playfully implying on yesterday's show that (Harley sat up annoyed.) the celebrity villain couple, formerly known as "JoQuinn" is no more.

Joker: (Smiling.) Thanks, Howie. When I dumped poor, sad, what's her name...

Frank: (Pointing at Harley.) She's right over here.

(Y/N) and Ivy: (Annoyed.) Frank.

Joker: I promised I would respect her wishes to drift into the darkness of total anonymity. And for the record, our couple name was... "Joker."

Harley: (Angrily.) Oh, that liar trying to blow up the cleanest and nicest talk show host in television!

Ivy: Just ignore him.

(Y/N): He's baiting you. It's not worth getting angry over.

Joker: Sorry, but that's all the time we have today, Howie. (He grabbed Howie and activated the sixty second timer.) And speaking of time, yours is running out.

Howie: (Scared while running away from the scene with Joker laughing in the background.) I need a very brave wardrobe girl!

Harley smashed the T.V. with her bat.