The Threesome (Harley Quinn X Male Reader X Poison Ivy)

((S/N) Ship Name) or Haivy (Y)

Warning very sexually charged episode, with little to no pen since I still don't feel comfortable on how to write that shit without it sounding cringy or straight up horrible.

(Y/N): Alright, let's recap this twist and turns bullshit. Last season on Harley Quinn, Harley and I took a break, where she re-learned that I have a lot of ex-girlfriends and a stalker ex, I helped Kite-Man get a special ring to propose to Ivy which didn't end well, stopped dad from killing himself by being a dumbass and trying to stop him after he got hurt during joker tower, met my future daughters, had sex both my gilfriends on a bachelorette party, where my controlling ex tried to mind control me go figure, Psycho turned against us and unlocked my powers which I albeit dumbass as I am locked it away in the darkest corner of my mind, became mayor, met my biological dad, tried to save Ivy's wedding only to turn it into the runaway bride situation. I'm sure there's a lot that needs explaining, but I'm still processing all this bullshit as is.

~Timeskip~

In a bed we see what looks to be (Y/N) on top of Ivy, as the scene continues to unfold we see Harley jumping in she squeezes herself in between (Y/N) and Ivy and grinds against Ivy causing the two to groan revealing their faces to be Kylie Kryptonite, Britney Bionic and Danny Diabolik.

Kylie: Now let's shed those leaves.

Britney: (exaggerated moan) Uh, yeah, I'm Ivy, ooh, yea...

Danny: Ready to go for a ride...

Unfocusing our view we see, that it's actually a T.V. inside the Cave of Solitude's living room. On the couch (Y/N) sits on the corner as Harley and Ivy snuggle up to him, both eating out of bowls of popcorn.

Ivy: I don't even wear leaves.

Harley: Still, ya gotta respect the hustle. I mean, they wrote, shit, and edited this in two weeks since Psycho blew up our spot.

Ivy: Was that only two weeks ago? It feels like so much longer.

Harley: I know, right?

Ivy: (to (Y/N)) You've been awfully quiet? Are you alright?

(Y/N): (smiling at her) Yeah, just basking in the greatest two weeks of my life.

Harley: (snuggling her head on his chest) Aww.

Suddenly a hologram appears besides the tv.

Jor-El: The sign says "no girls allowed"

Ivy: Superman's dead dad?

Jor-El: Haivy (Y)? What are you doing here?

Harley: Ooh! Is that our official celeb couple name?

Ivy: Ugh, I would have just gone with "H.I.(Y).". (as someone who's initial is B. I find this acronym as a complete win!) 

(Y/N): Sounds like a rapper name.

Jor-El: I hadn't said it out loud before, it looks better in writing. Now surrender, fugitives! (hearing moans from the t.v.) Wait, are you watching a dirty movie? This is the Fortress of Solitude!

Harley: L-O-L a "dirty movie"? Uh, relax, we just dropped in to chill for a bit and eat all your chips while Gordon's looking for us, okay? Your big, dumb son says it's okay.

Jor-El: Oh, did he now? Perhaps we should call him.

Harley: You really don't have to do that.

Ivy: Yeah, don't do that.

The hologram disappears.

(Y/N): Took him an hour to figure out we were in here.

The hologram re-appears with Superman.