The Threesome (Harley Quinn X Male Reader X Poison Ivy)

Inner (Para) Demons

In the GCPD Commissioner's office, Jim, is dressed to impress, he picks up the landline phone on his desk and calls someone.

Jim: Mr. President, Jim Gordon, aka Gotham PD Commissioner, aka the Commish, but you can call me Gordo. Sir, Gotham City is finally ready to...

Secretary: Please hold for the President.

Jim: (surprised) Ah! Sorry, I thought you were the President.

Secretary: No, I'm his secretary.

Jim: Well, yes. Now that you say it, it makes sense that the President wouldn't answer his own phone. Just that I don't often hear of a male secretary. (You didn't even let him talk when he answered, how the fuck where you supposed to know, it was a guy, let alone the president)

President: This is the President.

Jim: Sir, I, on my own, with no help from others, definitely singlehandedly took out the Injustice League. Gotham City is ready to rejoin the United States.

President: Gordo... Can I call you that?

Jim: I'd prefer that.

President: Gordo, according to my intel, there's still one supervillain who is running amok. Harley Quinn.

Jim: Uh... She's nothing but a polyp up my bunghole. Irritating? Sure. Uncomfortable? Absolutely. Horrifying to sexual partners and often times a deal breaker? Definitely. But nothing that a doctor-prescribed cream can't take care of.

President: That is... A lot of specific knowledge about anal polyps.

Jim: You're talking to an expert.

President: Look, Gordo, Harley Quinn caused the downfall of Gotham. She's a menace. She strikes fear into the heart of the public psyche. If she's still out there, Gotham isn't safe. Take care of Harley Quinn and I'll put Gotham back on the map.

Jim: I'm coming for you, Quinn.

~Timeskip~

As the phone call drops, the president puts his feet on his desk. That's when his secretary walks in.

Secretary: Are you sure that's a good idea Mr. President? You do remember your deal with (Y/N) right?

President: Oh please he was bluffing, plus what is he gonna do to me, I'm the goddamn President of the U.S. of the motherfucking A.

Secretary: If you say so Sir.

He walks away.

~Timeskip~

In the hideout living room, (Y/N)'s polishing his sniper on one side of the couch, while, Ivy is drinking coffee on the other side, and Harley is nervously pacing around behind them.

Ivy: Guys, if we're going to talk about it, let's just talk about it.

Harley: I mean, pssh, if you want to, I guess we could. Yeah. That was... crazy, right?

Ivy: So, crazy.

(Y/N): It was definitely something.

Harley: I've been thinking a lot, and I think it was...

Ivy: An impetuous, spur of the moment thing. (looking away You know?

Harley: (with a saddened face) Yes.

(Y/N): (focusing on his sniper) Totally.

Ivy: It was the adrenaline of escaping, you know. I just think it went to our heads.

Harley: Hundred percent.

Ivy: We weren't really thinking. You know?

Harley: It's so weird and uncanny how you just said everything I was going to say.