The Threesome (Harley Quinn X Male Reader X Poison Ivy)

The Line

At Taxes 4 Free. The T.V. is on and it's airing Metro 7, the headline: "Croony the Lounge Singing Chipmunk Dead at 74" with Tawny as the anchorwoman.

Tawny: (sadly)Aw. And that's one chipmunk we'll never forget. (changing to picture if a drunk Fable. The headline: Queen of Fables Released from the US Tax Code)In other news, evil sorceress, Queen of Fables, won a huge ruling today when a judge found her imprisonment in a US Tax Code to be cruel and unusual punishment.

Inside Queen of Fables office we see her still inside the US Tax Code.

Fables: (smoking a cig; annoyed) They always use that same damn picture.

Harley: Better than the picture they use of me. (she shows her a picture of Harley going to hit the camera with her bat while looking like she was having drunk orgasm; immediately taking the phone away) Hey, at least they're letting you out soon. Are we still gonna get our weekly coffees?

Fables: If I'm not too busy getting my fuck on. (they share a laugh)So, what's the update with the Legion of Doom?

Harley: Nada. Same as last week. (annoyed) Who do I gotta blow up to get an invite?

Fable: Easy. Find the thing the Legion wants most, and then you get it for yourself. All right, I've got a two o'clock with an independent contractor who keeps his receipts in a fuckin' ALF lunch box.

~Timeskip~

Back at the hideout/mall, Harley has a tablet.

Harley: (as Harley swipes through the pictures) Bane, Sinestro, Grodd, I mean, even Joker.

We see that King, Clayface and Psycho are around her while Poison Ivy and Frank are on the couch watching T.V. and (Y/N) and Heather where throwing paper airplanes, the former helps the latter up so that she could throw it farther.

Psycho: (interrupting her) Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know what they look like. 

Harley: What's your point? That they've all tried and failed to steal (showing a picture of a patented weather machine) Kord Industries' game-changing weather machine. Which is why we are gonna do it. 

King: If none of them could steal it, that seems like a pretty good indicator that we should not try. 

Harley: But if we succeed, it will make the Legion so furious, they'll have to notice us. (pointing at Clayface) I sent Clayface to do some recon. 

Clayface: (turning a woman; Psycho pinches his nose) My character was a sassy divorcee...

Psycho: (interrupting him; letting go) Can we please not do the unnecessary backstory thing? 

Clayface: ...named Brenda... 

Psycho: Okay. 

Clayface: (walking around him) ...who is back in the dating game for the first time in a while, and she's decided to get adult braces.

Psycho: Of course she did.

Clayface: (walking over to Harley) I know what you're thinking. It's a little expensive on a secretary's salary, but no! You can't put a price on a smile. So she threw caution to the wind-

Harley: (interrupting him) Clayface! Intel!

Clayface: (turning back into his normal form and making his hand into a diorama) The machine is being protected by 1,000-ish lasers, according to head scientist Jerome Stansfield, who may or may not be heartbroken when Brenda does not show up to work tomorrow.

King: How will we ever get past 1,000-ish lasers?

Harley: Already thought of that. Psycho?

Psycho: (bringing out schematics) S.T.A.R. Labs created a personal force field device that deflects energy. Problem is, the only way to get into the room is through an air duct about four inches wide. I don't know how the hell we're gonna do that.