the fuck it list

chapter 5

Ｌｉｌｌｉａｎ Ｇｒｉｆｆｉｎ

I sit in the back of my psych class listening to the teacher drone on and on about something or another. I love psych, don't get me wrong he's just a very boring person, the only thing that can make this class even worse is Quinn. He sits next to a blond girl with his hand under her skirt. This school is infested with blondies, most being fake.

"On the document I shared with you all, you will find your name and a topic I want you to research. This will be needed to finish your final project so you can't escape it." He looks around the room to see if anyone is paying attention, nobody is. "Your research is due next Friday, which means I want some good research, to really get to know your topic. You may begin." He sits down behind his desk and everyone pulls out their laptops.

I scroll through the list of names and finally find mine. My topic is...PTSD, how fitting. I open a blank document and start writing what I know about PTSD. Which sadly is a lot.

The bell finally rings, I pack away my laptop and walk through the crowded halls to my locker. Shoving some of my school work into my locker I walk through the crowded halls to get to the lunchroom.

I sit down at our usual lunch table and Ady is already there.

"Thank you," she says.

"What?"

"For not telling Jacob about everything." her eyes shine.

"That's for you to tell when you're ready, not me," I grab her hand over the table and smile. "Your birthday is coming up, what plans do you have?"

"I was going to have a small party just with us, you know, I don't want anything big." Ady starts about her birthday.

"Who's us?"

"Me, you, Jacob, Quinn, and a few others."

"Quinn?" I say hesitantly.

"What's wrong with me?" his voice sounds. The chair next to me is pulled out and Quinn plops in it.

"Everything." he's made his way into my life and needs to leave.

Quin ignores me and goes on about how she needs to throw a big party for her 18th, which I think is another excuse to throw another party. "What's wrong with you?" he asks and I know he's nodding his head at me.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I say resting my cheek on the palm of my hand.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," I give a fake smile in return and hope they buy it. "Anyways I have a question, how about we race?" Everyone gives me a confused look, so I continue. "On the 'Fuck-It List' racing is one of the things we can earn points for, and the race track by the barn is hoasting a race we can get in on the second race, a two for one."

"Yeah sure," Jacob says looking at the two of us. "I'm driving," he says to Adelyn, which is probably a good idea.

"I'm driving,'' Quinn whispers in my ear, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

I turn to face him, our faces only centimeters away from each other. "Not gonna happen," I smirk.

"You know it's cute you think you can boss me around," he says and I watch his lips move with each word he says.

"Fuck you," I say still staying close to him, it is like he has a hold on me.

"In your dreams," he says and his lips lightly brush mine. My heart rate picks up and small butterflies flutter in me.

No. No. No. No. I can't do the butterflies and racing heart thing again.

I turn and face my friend and pray nobody saw that.