the fuck it list

chapter 15

Ｌｉｌｌｉａｎ Ｇｒｉｆｆｉｎ

"You kissed him?!" Adelyn screams.

"Yeah..." I reply, rifling through Ady's clothes.

"I thought you didn't like him."

"I don't, what do you think of this?" I hold up a blood-red dress.

"Definitely that. If you don't like him, why did you kiss him?"

"I don't know, I just did," I say, changing into the red dress.

"Hmmm." I roll my eyes and sit down at her vanity and do my hair and makeup.

"Is princess Adelyn going to get ready to go to the royal ball tonight?" I ask in a posh accent.

"Of course I am, can't have you attending a party all by yourself. like a loser" she mimics me and we get ready together

Music blaring and the smell of weed has somehow become my newfound comfort. The music is turned up to the point where you feel the bass shaking the house. We make our way to the kitchen to get a drink. I pour a cup with vodka and add some sprite, I need to keep my liver alive but kill it at the same time. I look around at the people sipping from red solo cups and others grinding on each other.

"Look," Adelyn says, pointing at two people.

"What about it?" I ask not to see the importance of it.

"That's Jacob." I finally see it when the girl moves a bit.

"Adelyn-" I start but I'm cut off.

"I'm fine, can we please drop it." She gives me a fake smile and I reach out and hug her.

"It's nothing," I whisper in her ear. Adelyn fills her cup up to the brim with vodka. "Let's go outside."

I take her hand and lead her outside. Even with the loud music blaring it was peaceful outside.

"I really hope all of that," she waves her hand to the house, "is a misunderstanding. I like him." A few seconds later, "Do you think this is a misunderstanding?"

"Adelyn it probably is because I see the way he looks at you but then again I don't want to get your hopes up. Plus you have problems of your own to fix first.

She sighs, "I hate that you brought him up but yeah I know. Go find Quin, you know you wanna have his children."

"I do not and I'll stay with you."

"No go," she forces me towards the house.

The house is crowded with the music bouncing off the walls making me miss the quiet outside. My eyes scan everyone but I can't find him. Oh well. I walk to the kitchen to grab some water. Taking a sip of the cool liquid cools my burning body.

"Hey, I was lookin' all over for you." his voice says from behind me.

"Hey." I turn around and smile at him.

"Did you just get here?" Why is he acting like this, like we are friends and he cares about me?

"Nope."

"Hmm." he hums.

Definitely not awkward at all.

"Are we going to talk about you kissing me?"

"Don't flatter yourself, it was just a kiss."

Right, just a kiss.

"I gotta go, see you around." he leaves.

I switch my water out for a cup full of vodka, maybe fucking up my liver will help. I take large gulps of the liquor, it burns my throat each time.

I make my way in the middle of the dance floor, the vodka sloshing over the rim and onto my hand. The music and alcohol pumping through my body make me feel high and like I could live like this forever.