Fool's Gold

Chapter 11

The next couple of days didn't feel the same. I wasn't hanging out with Nick as much, my parents were always angry at me and my friends wouldn't respond to my texts. I felt isolated, so I just sat in my room. I started blasting my music, dancing and singing as loud as I could. The song How to Save a Life by the Fray came on. It got me wondering if people would care if I died. At the moment it didn't feel like they would. It felt as though they would party if I died. I couldn't kill myself though, that wasn't the right thing to do. I couldn't self harm either. I just wanted them to realise that I'm still in their lives and that I could very well leave at any moment. My phone started to vibrate. I looked at it. It was an unknown number. I answered anyway,
"Hello? Who is this?" I said quietly into the phone,
"Hello Grace, this is Nick's dad. I'm calling because I wanted to talk to you about something," God this couldn't be good. This phone call was going to go downhill. I awaited bad news,
"Ok. What is it that you want to talk about?" I said to Nick's dad. I heard a sigh on the other end of the phone before Nick's dad began talking,
"Nick had been acting really strange lately. He is constantly on edge. He's been going out a lot and he comes home with bruises and cuts everywhere. I was just wondering if you had any idea where he had been going out. Sometimes he says he's going to your place," I stood there pondering where Nick had been going. It certainly wasn't my place,
"He hasn't been coming to my place at all. We haven't talked in a while actually. I don't know where he has been going though. I'll see if I can find out for you," I responded to Nick's dad,
"Ok. Thank you so much Grace. Have a good day," Nick's dad hung up the phone. I decided to text Nick :
G - Hey! Wanna come over?
N - Sure. Be there soon.
At least he was going to come over. I was going to find out where Nick was going.

About 10 minutes later I heard Nick knock on the door. When I opened the door though I saw someone that didn't seem recognisable. It was a bruised, hurt and depressed Nick. He hugged me tightly,
"Nick, what's up?" I was getting straight into it. I didn't want to waste any time,
"Ever since I hooked up with that girl I haven't been able to forgive myself. I feel like such a bad person," Nick replied letting out a sob. I took his hand and lead him to the living room. We sat on the lounge and I comforted Nick. When I put my arms around him to give him a hug, he flinched. I looked at where my arms were placed. They were on top of some purple bruises,
"Nick, how did you get these bruises?" He just looked into my eyes. His eyes showed deep sadness,
"I've been going to this club and people always hit me. I deserve it though. That's why I keep going back," Hearing this response made me feel guilty. I could've forgiven Nick earlier, preventing this from happening, but unfortunately that's not the way it worked out,
"You don't deserve it, Nick. Everyone makes mistakes, some bigger than others, but when someone forgives you the guilt goes away. You don't need to feel guilty anymore. You don't need to go to this club all of the time either. I've forgiven you," I spoke with a gentle voice. Nick started crying,
"You just don't get it Grace. You haven't done anything like this before. You don't know how hard it is for me to see you without feeling guilty. You would've never done such a thing to me, but I did it to you. I can't live with the fact that I hurt my true love, the person that was there for me when I was in hospital, the person who has been my best friend since kindergarten and the person who has always been willing to help me. The question that runs through my mind every second of the day is, why did I do it? I can't answer that question though," I just wanted Nick to be happy. Seeing him like this was serious because I'd never seen him so upset in all of the time I'd known him. I didn't know how to respond to that. We sat there in silence, until Nick got up from the lounge and stormed out of the house.

I had a sleepless night. I kept on wondering if Nick had gone back to that club. What he said had me thinking. We had been through a lot together and yes I had been there with him through all of the hard times. I'm going to be there with him through this one too, but if he can't let me be there then it's just going to get worse. I thought of the possibility that our relationship might end because Nick won't be able to live with the guilt. This made me feel worse. I didn't want to lose him to a mistake he made. I had forgiven him, he just had to forgive himself.