Fool's Gold

Chapter 38

Nick's POV
Harry had to keep on changing the bandages on my open wounds. The blood didn't seem to stop coming out of them. The words that he spoke to me after seeing them kept on replaying in my mind. Grace wouldn't have wanted this. She would've wanted me to have been a content person. Our true love wasn't worth me throwing my life away. I think that a lot of people think that for someone to be in true love they have to have some epic experience and it can't just happen casually. A part of this is true, it does feel like the whole world has stopped when you fall in love but there is never an epic story involved with love. It is a casual thing that seems like everything to you and that one other person.

The next couple of days were hard. I kept on listening to music that I found to explain my situation. One of my favourites was 'You Found Me' by the Fray. I had lost the only person who knew who I was, who I'm not and who I want to be, making it the biggest loss of my life. Harry had made sure to keep a close eye on me. In fact, he hardly left me alone. In some ways he reminded me of Grace. Mainly because of the fact that he was one of the few people who knew basically everything about me. I was lucky to have a best friend like him.

Ever since Grace had died I had some moments where I thought she was still alive. After I had self harmed I got my phone and dialled her number. I was waiting for the ringing to stop and to hear her beautiful voice, but it never happened. I realised that I was never going to hear that voice again and the time that she said she loved me was the last time I was going to hear it. If only we knew when the last time we were going to talk to our loved ones was. I would've told Grace so much more than just that I love her. I'm sure that she would've said something else to me too, that's if her life didn't slip away so suddenly.

I had also came home once and started calling out Grace's name. Once I knew that she wasn't going to respond I broke down in tears. I hated living without her and that's why I started to self harm. I found it to be my only way out of all of this unbearable pain.

Everyone who had come to Hawaii for Grace's funeral made their way back home, including Harry and myself. He had suggested that I should stay with him until I've recovered from Grace's death. I disagreed. I wanted to have some independence in my life because lately I hadn't had any at all. Hopefully I would fill the void that is inside of me and realise that my life must go on, but on the other hand I want to rejoin Grace for eternity.