Porcelain : Levi x Reader (Royal AU)

T w e n t y O n e : For Hjemlandet

Your head is pounding, or maybe it is not your head but rather what you lie on that is pounding, slowly, familiarly, steadily. You're cognizant of the morning light shining through your windows and the orange hue it leaves behind your eyelids.

Opening your eyes, you wince at how bright it is in your room but you realize that it's hard to get up. Strong arms are wrapped around your body and holding you close. You turn as best as you can and look up to see Levi sleeping peacefully, and you can't help the smile on your face. It was the first time you got to wake up next to him, it was the first time that you saw him sleeping.

"You're awake." He speaks with his eyes still closed and it causes your heart to jump slightly.

"You're not sleeping?" You question and he finally opens up his eyes and looks down at you.

"Insomnia, remember? Just resting my eyes, I guess."

You want to question why he's here, why he had spent the night, where Bertholdt is and why Sasha had never come to wake you but instead you begin to place your hand on his cheek. You're happy that he doesn't pull away like last night but fully leans into your touch as you rub your thumb over his cheek. When you're done with the motion you notice the light red streak it leaves on his face and you gasp.

"Y-You're bleeding." You stammer but then you pull away and look at your hand and notice that you are the one covered in blood. Immediately you retract from him and completely pull away, and when you do, you notice that he's covered in dried blood and so are you.

He watches you for a few moments as the memories of last night finally come to you and he wipes the tears that begin to fall from your eyes. You turn to where you remember the bodies should be, Bertholdt's body and the intruder, but there's nothing on the floor but dark red stains.

"I'm sorry," He apologizes but he makes no other moves to touch you, "I didn't want anyone to wake you, so they'll clean it once we leave. I told Sasha that when you were awake we'd call her to clean you up. They can bring breakfast when you're ready, I'm afraid it's past meal time already."

You digest his words, "Everyone else? Did anyone else..."

He shakes his head gently, "He was the only intruder and he only ever made it to your room. After, the castle went into lockdown and all soldiers were checked and questioned. Well, beside me I stayed here with you and after you fell asleep the bodies were removed-," Levi notices the blank look in your eye and stops talking for a few moments, "I'm not going to ask if you're okay, because I know that you're not, and that's fine. But I just want you to know that nothing that happened last night was your fault."

You nod blankly and he continues to watch as your gaze moves from his face to your hands covered in blood.

"I can call Sasha to bathe you-"

"I'll do it on my own." You didn't want Sasha to see you like this, to see you as a murderer.

You stand up to go into the bathroom and you slowly take off your nightgown. Looking in the mirror causes you to quickly turn away as you turn the shower on to the hottest setting. Steam quickly fills the room and the hot water feels as if it burns your back, but you don't mind it. It feels like a punishment you deserve as you watch the water turn red as it pours down your body. And you watch, you don't know for how long, but you stare down the drain as the bloody water finally turns clear.

Your tears mix with the water from the showerhead as you wonder if it was Bertholdt's blood or the intruder's you had just watched flow down the drain. Perhaps a mix of both, and you lean against the shower wall and slowly drag yourself down until you're crouching in the corner.