I THOUGHT

Chapter 21

Lalisa Manoban|

We're here at the balcony now, Rosie and I are talking nang mapansin naming wala na si Jennie sa gilid.

"Where is she?" She asked, and I just shook my shoulders.

"Doing more important stuffs, I guess." I said, then we both look ahead.

"Oh? Yeah. Back to what we are talking. After today... we will be very busy again. Dad already scheduled an audit next week, and so we need to do general cleaning." She said, I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not sure. Do you think I wouldn't feel embarrassed when you're Dad knows about me being a crew?" I told her, bitterly chuckling.

"Lisa, Dad's not that judgemental, okay? You know our family also came from being poor. My parents know how it feels to do everything just to learn. You're still lucky tho." She said, and so I look at her.

"And how can you say I'm still lucky?" I asked, she then smile before she look at me.

"Cause, after all... You're still a Manoban. One of the daughter of our business partners. You don't have to work to eat. You don't have to work just to stay alive. You're working because you just have to learn something from it. That's all."

I don't know, but Rosie's words affects something deeply.

She's right. I'm still lucky to be me.

"See. Look at them." She uttered then look below.

I saw children playing in one of the empty space below. They look happy.

"You see them? They aren't wearing clothes, not even sleepers, but they're happy. They're playing, laughing, and looked contented with what they have, and if you asked them if they're lucky with the lives they have? I'm pretty sure, they are."

I breath heavily. I can't take off my eyes to them, but then Rosie held my hand.

I look at her, she smile.

"I may not know of what you've been through, but I know you still have this." She said pointing my left chest.

"Learn to forgive, be willing to learn Lisa. Not everyone is meant to hurt, and humiliates you. Some of them wants to be with you. Some of them wants to help you. You just have to listen what's inside of this." She pointed my heart.

"Not always this." She pointed my head referring my mind.

I don't know what to say.

I remember everything I've been through, and I don't want to experience that again.

I didn't even notice that I'm crying already, all I feel was Rosie's arms around me.

"Sh.. its okay. I'm here for you, Lisa."

I hate this.

I hate how vulnerable I am right now.
I can't be weak again. I can't let them hurt me again, but being hard does really helped me through this?

"Its going to be fine, Lisapoo." She uttered then caressed my back before she let me go.

She wipe my tears, but I can't let her see me like this.

"Look at me. You don't have to hide your tears, specially to me, hm? I cried too. I'm still a crying baby. Remember that day you harrassed me? I'm so scared, and mad of that to the point that I wanted to slap you, but I didn't. I know that wasn't your intention right?" She asked.

Now, she's making me feel guilty again.

"What if that's really my intention?" I said looking at her straight, and her eyes widen.