Sarah Paulson One Shots

Saving Me~ W.V

-topic requested- Ninaokeke "mental health and Suicide."

(-this is Outpost Mina)

TW~Self Harm and Attempted Suicide.
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Happiness is taken for granted. A healthy mindset, the difference between just a thought and overthinking. People dont seem to realize what they have until it's gone.
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Ms. Venables cane could be heard coming down the hallway into the dinning hall. She sat in her usual place at the head of the table, she looked at everyone's presence as all eyes were on her, except you. Your spot at the table was empty, again.

There was no doubt that Wilhemina had a soft spot for you which you too had for her. At first she was conflicted about it considering she had a hard time with showing or receiving any sort emotion or affection.
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Last night you skipped dinner too. This arose some speculation over you with Venable and Ms Mead in private. "Does she need to be punished?" Mead had asked. Wilhemina couldn't show any soft behavior towards you in conversation with others. "I will handle it." She responded before knocking on your bedroom door.The woman knew you had depressive episodes in the past but she never witnessed it, "please dont be that" Mina thought, she looked both ways down the hallway before letting her soft side out. "Y/N? Are you alright?" Minas voice was calming. You spoke no words causing the red head to come in anyway.

You were curled up in your bed, blankley staring at the wall. At first Mina thought you were asleep. She nudged your shoulder slightly, "hey" still keeping a comforting tone.

You gave a deep sigh and rolled over facing the woman hovering over you. Wilhemina looked into your eyes. You were physically there but your mind was somewhere else. Somewhere dark and lonely. She took your hand in hers, that's when she noticed. There were fresh cuts on both of your arms all the way up to your elbows.

Mina's emotional side that was un heard of, shined through. Tears built up in her eyes but you didnt notice because you just... weren't there...
She kept whispering "no no no." To herself as if it would fix it all

Not caring about her back and the pain she endured, she carried you into the bathroom setting your body on the floor resting your back against the cabinets underneath the sink. "I should have noticed sooner. Why didn't you come to me?" The woman started to blame herself for your actions. She wrapped your arms in a damp cloth. "Its okay." Still not looking Wilhemina in the eyes those were the only words you had said. She cupped your face trying to get you to look at her but it was no use. "How is this okay?" Her voice was getting louder and tears were streaming. "Because we all end at some point. So who cares?"

Mina held you close to her body still on the floor. "I care."
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But that was just the previous night. Just the beginning of something worse. If only she knew what you had done just minutes before she noticed your absence at the table. "Exuse me." Wilhemina stood up from her seat as everyone watched her leave towards the stairs.

Approaching your door hoping that you were better then last night she knocked three time. "Y/N, is everything alright?" There she went with being gentle again. Usually Ms Venable would cringe but you seemed to give her a reason not to..you were her only exception for any glimmer of emotion she felt. No response was heard from your end. Minas hopes of you being okay were lowering by the second.

Wasting no more precious time she opened the door thinking you'd be in bed. You weren't. The bathroom door attached to your room was closed with the light off. Wilhemina knocked on the door, "Y/N?" Nothing once again.

Luckily it wasn't locked, she creaked it open slightly. The scene that lied before her was something nobody could prepare her heart for. You laid on the floor unconscious with a razor in your hand, the cuts you made last night were deeper, blood dripped from them onto the floor around you. "No, no please." She cried trying to wake you. You hadn't been out long enough to be cold. Your breathing was slower than normal. Lifting you up off the floor with any grasp of life still in you, the red head carried you down the hall into her room, laying you gently on her bed.

"Come on please, you're okay." Wilhemina took damp cloths on all the bleeding areas to stop it knowing you already lost so much. She kept reassuring herself that you were going to survive this. There was no medical staff in the outpost, the rule was anyone who gets sick and doesnt overcome it is useless. Knowing nobody would help her, she was on her own.
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You woke up to a dark room, dimly lit by candles and being cradled by someone It was easy to tell this wasn't your room. Your head was pounding and the room seemed to be spinning. You tried to move but the persons grip was tight, but in a loving way. "Shh" The voice spoke. "Its okay. You're alright." You knew the voice. Wilhemina had saved you when you didnt want to be saved. You let out a cry. "No! Why did you do this!?"

Buring your head in the woman chest, she rubbed your back in hopes it would calm you. "I'm not letting you go." She held you closer. "Why?" Your words were softer but still aggressive. "Because you are a fighter. And
I'm not going to watch you die in front of me until I do everything in my power to save you."
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The next few weeks Wilhemina kept a close eye on you. She made up some excuse to tell Ms Mead, like "it's a punishment" or something to keep you in her room. Though you were hostile the first week, Mina learned how to keep you relaxed and things that calmed you down when you felt the urge to harm yourself.

When you were in the clear to return to your room you were hesitant to. Too many bad things happened over the past month in there and you knew how your brain worked so you suggested that staying with Mina was a better idea so you wouldn't relapse, which she was happy to.

It's been over three months, you and Ms Venable have been secretly in a relationship. You two loved eachother even with both of your flaws and faults. In the end you were glad the attempt didnt work, you wouldnt be where you are now. After all she is the one who saved you.
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A/N- hi!
I haven't updated in a minute- I've been working on my other book lately. :)
I hope I didn't get anything wrong in this or offend someone- pls tell me if I did thx

Requests open~