Sarah Paulson One Shots

In the Deep End ~D.S

Request- whoreforsallymkenna

      "Diane finds out about readers    eating disorder."
                                    •••
            TW- Eating Disorder
                        
                    ••—-————••

    A growl left your body as you toss and turned in pain, caused by the lack of food filling that void called your stomach. It started up again a couple of weeks ago, and so far Diane doesn't have a clue about it. Or so you think...

    You had failed to remember that Diane was one to notice many things. Especially when it's about you. May that be a small change in your attitude or how you would go to the bathroom right after dinner to bring it all up again. Or may that be how she found your meals in the trash hidden with a paper plate or tissue in hopes that would keep her convinced you were okay.

    You would sleep more to avoid meals and the empty feeling that lurked inside. Though, when the pain was unbearable, you would wiggle out of Diane's arms at night leaving her fast asleep. You'd sneak downstairs to eat toast or something you felt would settle the pain.

    You didn't know that Diane knew. She knew when you go to the kitchen and come back crying only to nuzzle yourself back into her chest. The woman would pretend to be asleep, so you felt you weren't getting caught. She was scared to approach you about it. She didn't know how to bring it up or talk to you in a way that wouldn't scare you off. 

Yet, today was the day she had enough of it.
                           ••————••

"Sweetheart." Diane shook your shoulder. "Wake up" she planted a kiss on your forehead as your let out a morning groan waking from your sleep. "Come on, honey, let's eat breakfast together." Your eyes shot open as you curled yourself into a ball tensing up, shaking your head. "I'm not hungry right now"

"Y/N, come on. I know what's going on. Don't act like you don't either." Diane drew love circles on your arm with her fingers to ease your body, but the tears still made a comeback. "Shh baby. You don't have to cry. I'm here, just trying to help you."

Diane sat next to you on the bed bringing you into her chest similar to the previous night. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine." The older woman let out a sigh.

"Don't think I don't notice your bathroom trips after meals, or how you always rather eat alone, or how come I've been finding wads of paper towel covering food in the trash. Y/N, I want to help you, just don't lie to me." She put her arms around you tight, but not too tight, just how you like it.

"I'm so tired." At this moment you let it all out. All the pain, all the hurt, the days were tears were sucked in, the nights where not all of them would come out. "I know sweet girl. I know. It's alright. Breathe." She couldn't believe she had let it get to this point. Watching as you had gotten smaller with each day that pasted by. 

    "Do you want to try to eat something?" You took a long pause hoping she would make that decision for you, but there wasn't any way she'd push you. Giving Diane a nod she took your hand as you gripped it a little more then usual. 

    Diane led you to the table where breakfast she had previously made rested on separate plates. You stood there for a minute staring at it thinking how many calories or carbs where in each bite. Numbers ran through your head like a bullet train and there was no stopping the panic from spilling out of your eyes. "Shh hey, it's okay. Come here. I'm right here, I always will be."

    Diane sat you on her lap holding your waist. Keeping contact reminded you that you weren't alone in this. She cut a piece of toast putting it on the fork and handing it to you. "Take your time." She whispered kissing your cheeks delicately.  Raising the fork to your mouth, your lips started to quiver and your eyes shut. "Breathe sweetheart." Diane began rubbing your arms up and down.

    You nodded to her words bringing the utensil closer to your mouth. This is usually when you tap out and go back to bed to sleep it off, but you wanted to make your girlfriend proud. You wanted to make a stop to her fears and worry. You wanted to help yourself.

    Before you knew it the toast had connected with your lips and your teeth began clamping down on it. A disgusted look on your face was soon melted away with just five words.

             "I'm so proud of you."

                    ••---------------••

A/N- I actually needed this rn.

So thank you for the request. It has doubled its purpose  :)