Sarah Paulson One Shots

Wheres My Baby~C.G

Request- billieshoe6

  ~Cordelia is readers mother- they open up about their insecurities~

TW- weight slander- feeling worthless.

P.S- I'm gonna put a little Holiday into this :)

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December 24th- Christmas Eve.
You should be down celebrating with the rest of the academy. Instead, you sit on the window seat in the dark abyss of your room watching as snowflakes pepper the ground below and infusing the air with their cold touch. The only light was the reflection of the moonlight bouncing off the snow onto the window.

Unique. Something your mother always emphasized within the academy. I mean how could she not? A house of girls from different places and backgrounds. Different minds, bodies, and abilities. Each and everyone was unique, no one was like the next. Just like a snowflake.

Bodies. Something you didn't like. The reason you always found a way out of dinner gatherings or large groups in general. The holidays were the worst. Everyone would be together- all the differences in one room you would think you'd blend in, but you felt as if you stuck out like a sore thumb.

You had always felt like the "chubbier" kid of the group. The one everyone picked last in gym class. The kid who had the kindest heart but was taken for granted because of what everyone else saw first. It was harder for you to make friends nobody wanted to be friends with the "fat" kid. They were too good for you, but they weren't. Those kids are the weakest amongst the world.

That's how you began to grow as your moms best friend. Cordelia Goode. The Supreme. Or Ms. Cordelia to the other girls, but mom to you. She helped you through the thickest of patches. From being bullied to just having a bad day. She was there and she promised to always be by your side. Your partner in crime.

Now, as you sit here with your knees to your chest, head resting against the glass of the window you have no idea how much your mother missed you. She missed the years when you were little, helping her make holiday cookies or wrapping presents in her lap. As you got older the less she saw you this time of year.

A knock on your bedroom door shook the thoughts away. "Y/N?" A voice cooed from the other side. Not too loud yet not too quiet. Mom? "It's time for dinner love." Mom. Help me. You gave no response in case a cry would come out instead. You wanted to go down to be with everyone, but you couldn't. It was embarrassing to walk down those stairs with all eyes on you. But too be escorted by your mother? Even worst.

The door finally creaked open reveling your frame curled up next to the glass. "Honey why are you sitting in the dark?" You gave the blonde a shrug as she walked over to you resting her hand on your shoulder blade rubbing slow circles. "What's wrong? You know you can tell me."  Cordelia takes a seat in front of you on the bench grasping her hands in yours while brushing her thumb over your knuckles. 

What happened to my baby? She thought to herself.

    "I'm tired." Cordelia leaned her head to the side watching as your eyes follow the snow falling from the sky. It wasn't long until your tears began mocking the scenery. "Oh- sweetheart. Come here."  Cordelia wiped the salty waters from your rosy cheeks before opening her arms as you fell into her chest. The supremes fingers brushed through your hair planting a kiss on the top of your head.

    "I miss this." You whispered playing with the rings on her other hand. "Miss what hm?" Cordelia lays her cheek on your head facing the window before her. "When it was just us for the holidays. When we didn't have to worry about anyone because all we had was each other ."

    You couldn't see the sorrow streaming down your mother's face. Her sniffles were constant. "I know. I miss this too." Cordelia brought into a hug that seemed to last a lifetime. "Is that all?" She asked holding your cheeks in her palms. You lied and said yes- knowing that she'd figure something else out soon enough. "Alright. Let's go eat dinner with the girls. Okay?" You wanted to go down to be with everyone, but you couldn't. It was embarrassing to walk down those stairs with all eyes on you. But too be escorted by your mother? Even worse.

    "Y/N/N? Coming?" She had stood up in front of you with her hand reached out asking for your hand offering a sense of safety. "No- I'm not hungry." You turned around back to watch the snowflakes fall. It was this moment she knew exactly what you were feeling. "Hey, no come back to me Y/N. You don't have to hide." The blonde tugged on your shoulder and you let it all out...

"No!- you're wrong. I do- How long is it going to take you to realize that I'm right and your daughter is a worthless, ugly piece of shit who can't leave her own room because shes an embarrassment."

Cordelia stands there processing all the lies she refuses to believe. She says nothing. Just brings you close into her arms tightly. "You are not an embarrassment. You are not worthless nor are you ugly. Do you understand me?"

"Moms are supposed to say that." You mumble into her shoulder. "Only of they mean it my dear. I love you so much Y/N. You are my greatest friend and my biggest supporter, I would even say my best achievement. And I mean it from the moon and back three times around." Cordelia let's you go from her hold letting her palms rest on yours. "You don't mean it four times around?" The supreme gave you her signature mom look. "You know what I mean." She smiled.

"How about we eat dinner. Just the two of us, then we can come back and watch Christmas movies until we fall asleep. Like old times." Cordelia's eyes lit up watching you smile at her idea. She missed your smile.

There's my baby.

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A/N- didnt reread. Could be trash- idk too scared to know bc I wrote this on a "tired from finals brain."