Sarah Paulson One Shots

Million Reasons ~L.W

Requested~ fairyfuligo "anything Lana Winters"

A/N~ I dropped a mirror in the bathroom and it shattered, so that's sorta the inspo for this. Be thankful for my clumsiness and odd imagination :)
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Spring of 1964~

Rain drizzled on the umbrella that you held above your head. The small pitter patter that each droplet made as it came into contact with the surrounding surfaces. As you walked along the pavement, heels clicking with each step, the same familiar employees of the train station said their "hellos" and "good afternoons" on this Friday evening
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It wasnt unusual for you to be here today. In fact it wasnt odd to be here at this time either. It was every Friday at four pm that youd make your way to the station to buy a ticket. It was every Friday that youd claim to your family it was all for a business trip. They'd get suspicious considering most work related trips often have you go to the city, but as a journalist, you can come up with anything to make a trip to the country each weekend wasnt anything but harmless.

You see, in the country part of the state lived the love of your life; Lana Winters. The two of you met at the Gazette. You worked there for about three years and by then Lana was a senior editor. You clicked with eachother immediately. The rest? History.

You knew with every instinct within, that your family would not aprove the thought of you being with another woman. Especially every weekend for the past 6 months. That's how oblivious they really are. Yet, you still had the need to hide it. It was the 60s after all, it was deemed as "no right" or "unruly" the usual "you're sick.". But your not sick, if the feeling is right and true, is there really any harm?
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With heels still clicking, your hand pulled open the door to the ticket desk. The door closed behind you as you shook the umbrella free of any water that might leave a trail behind you. "Hello Y/N!" The elderly man who now knew you by name, greeted your presence with a friendly grin. "Hello there Thomas." You returned the gesture. "The usual?" Thomas asked with an elbow on the counter. "Indeed".

The man checked the schedule for the train times. "We have a minor issue my dear." You raised an eyebrow peeking over, looking at the book of times yourself. "The Sunday train that runs through the country is down momentarily. Meaning the earliest time coming back, would be-" Thomas traced his finger down the chart. "Saturday morning."

You sat there pondering if you should stay a little while longer with Lana and wait until next week. what would be stopping you? Then again your family would wonder why you were back so late without a phone call. "Saturday is fine." Thomas nodded his head grabbing up a ticket and punching a hole into it. "Thank you." The man smiled. And you were off, heels clicking once again.

Boarding the train with your luggage in hand the conductor checked your ticket and guided you to your designated seat. The rain still poured, down the front of the windows. Your head leaned against the glass making it seem as if you were crying.

Traveling through the rual parts, didn't take long, one hour tops. You now stepped out of the locomotive, umbrella above your head. The rain never seemed to stop in fact it seemed to pour down harder. Your shoes hit the pavement platform. A voice in the near distance called out your name. You looked to your left. No one. Look to your right. No one. But the voice lied in front of you. Your eyes met the brunette.

You ignored the people walking in front of you and ran right to her. She caught you in her arms nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck. "I missed you." Lana whispered. Your tears mixed in with the rain. "don't cry my love." She cupped your face and wiped the rivers from your rosy cheeks. "No, these are happy tears."

The drive to Lanas house was quiet. Not in an awkward way. No, not at all. A more so comfortable, sweet silence. A quiet air filled with the loudness of your hearts and hands being held the entire way home. She was your home. With her nothing mattered. Not a judge or a stare from wondering strangers or a whisper from a family member. She was really all you needed.

The car pulled into a gravel driveway. Lana parked the vehicle and helped you with your bags. "Love? You seem down. What's the matter?" She asked rubbing your arm. "The latest train I can take home is tomorrow morning" Usually this isnt something youd be upset about, but the fact you two only get two and half days together to begin with, you weren't ready to pick up your stuff and return to the city only to act like someone you aren't. You felt free here.

"Well, then we'll just have to make the best of it." Lana gave you a whole hearted smile as she took your hand in her empty one, leading you into her home. She was always the optimist between you two.

Saturday morning ~

    As the two of you held your hands conjoined, listening to the others heartbeat. Rain hits the trees causing the droplets fall onto the roof of the car "Y/N?" Lana draws patterns on your arm. "Yes." Your gaze meets hers. "I love you. You know that right?" What a dumb question. Of course you knew that. If she didn't, you wouldn't be cuddled into her side every night you were together or travel to the county side every week end to be with her while you knew the consequences if anyone found out. You risked it all for this woman.

    "Yeah I know. I love you too." There was a brief silence, like the last time in the car but this felt more tense. Like the brunette had something to say but didn't know how. "So, stay." Stay. Stay? You couldn't stay. Both of you knew that. Your love was strong, but not strong enough for the world to see. Not strong enough to face all the judgement and comments that would go around. 

    The train station was coming into clear view by now. You had a choice to make. But it was obvious which one you'd choose. "Lana-" she cut you off "please just listen." Lana parked the car watching the trains stop in sync. She didn't have much time left. "If I love you. And you love me, how is that wrong? Her voice got quieter with each word as she was on the verge of tears.

    "They don't matter to us Y/N, it's not their life. It's ours"  You glanced out the window reflecting on your options, although there was only one that felt right.

    "Goodbye my love." You kissed her on the cheek and grabbed your bags from the back seat. You looked into each other's eyes one last time, and went separate ways. Suddenly thought became strangers with a shared past. You tried so hard not to be torn apart. But in the end you both wanted something different. She wanted you.. and you didn't want them to know.

    You stepped on the platform of the station without looking back. Knowing if you did Lana would either be gone or wiping tears from her cheeks. Her heart was shattered like a mirror. A million little pieces scattered across. But it only gave her a million more reasons to love you.

    The conductor brought you back to your focus. "Would you like a return ticket?" Looking down the side of the train you responded. "No, one way is fine."

    And thus, your story came to an end; although happily ever after isn't the ending to this story, you will always be her favorite chapter within.
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