Sarah Paulson One Shots

The Light Is On~ C.G

Requested~ billielourdwifey
"Ednos/ anorexia reader x Delia"

TW- Anorexia (ED) , mention of Suicide, Body Dysmorphia

note; Cordelia is a motherly figure, not a partner :)

𓍊𓋼𓍊𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𓋼

It was in the midsts of the night... everyone in the coven was asleep, but you. Typical. You stand in your room that was lit by just a couple candles, in front of a mirror, that stood resting in the corner.

Your arms began crossing over your torso, blocking the unwanted vision of yourself. You'd gotten smaller and weaker since the last time you really acknowledged yourself as a whole. The bones in your ribs were more profound just as the ones in your cheeks, arms and even your hands.

A small weep left your lips along with the salty waters of your defeat streamed down your face. You tired to be quiet in hopes that your attempt wouldn't result in anyone coming to knock on your door to check on you. This later failed.

Your breath was unsteady and anger was building up inside of you. You didn't mean for it to get this far. Truly, it was just going to be an innocent few pounds. Nothing more.

Your vision was now blurry. A blink was all it would take to see again, but you didn't. You didn't want to see yourself anymore. Picking up the nearest object and sending it through the air, breaking the mirror into a million little pieces making a more distorted version of yourself letting out a throaty cry.

Realizing what you had done, you threw a blanket on top of the glass hiding it from your eyes. You crawled back into bed waiting for the panic to wash away. A staggering breath left your body. You pulled the covers of the duvet closer to your frail body to ease the shivers that appeared on the surface of your skin as tears dropped onto the blanket surrounding you.

An abrupt knock on your door created a diversion causing your eyes to stop staring at the mess you've made. "Y/N? Are you alright?" The voice was familiar. It was a comforting sound, yet the last one you'd want to hear at the moment. The door creaked open as the familiar one walked through the threshold of your room. Her eyes met with the broken mirror and your shaking frame.

"Hey, shh tell me what's wrong." You met contact with her hands resting on your shoulder, rubbing your arms up and down. "Cordelia, stop! Don't touch me!" You yelled ignoring the fact that there were other people well into their sleep and it wasn't just the two of you alone.

Cordelia flinched a little lifting her delicate hands off of yours. "Okay, okay I'm sorry." You shifted away from her burying yourself further into the mattress. "I'm so tired." You whispered faintly into the pillow which your head rested on. "Oh honey..." Cordelia's eyes were now glazed with her own defeat. All she ever wanted to do was to protect you. She loved you like a daughter since day one when you stepped foot into the academy. "I know."

She scanned your face, brushing the stray hairs out of your face. It was now, in the darkness of your room, she realized how much of you was gone. Fading in front of her this entire time and she let it happen right under her nose. "I shouldn't have let it get this far sweetheart. I'm so sorry." You finally scooted yourself into the side of the supreme, resting your head in her lap as she brushed through your hair with her fingers.

The blonde took another look at the broken mirror in the corner. "Y/N, please let me help you" Cordelia's gaze returned to you. Watching your slow breaths. "I can't let you waste your time. I'm not worth saving. Probably easier if you let me kill myself" You said fiddling with the hem of the blanket. "Y/N no, hey look at me." Cordelia lifted you up to face her where tears threaten to fall onto her cheeks.

"I can help you, I promise. My arms are open, my light is always on. I don't care what time in the night it is, or if I'm busy in a meeting, you come to me no matter what." This was not a suggestion, but a demand. Cordelia couldn't watch you get sicker and dig your grave deeper. She wouldn't let herself sit here and watch you drown in your own thoughts. The blonde hated seeing you hurt.

"There's nothing left to save. I don't go down for meals anymore, I haven't seen the girls in weeks-" It was true. You'd go downstairs in the middle of the night to eat something when the pit of your stomach has had enough and the pain was unbearable. Even then it wasn't a lot of food but it kept you alive.

"I love you too much to sit and do nothing while you lay here and slip away from me, Y/N. The girls are worried about you. They miss you dearly. So do I" With that you tucked your head into Cordelia's neck as she kissed your forehead.

"If you help me, promise that you won't leave. Promise me you won't get mad at if I can't do it." You held out your pinkie. Cordelia cupped your cheek; "You will have good days, and there will be a lot of bad. Let the good ones weight out the bad." You nodded and the Supreme took your pinkie in hers. "I promise"

Cordelias arms surrounded your frame, sharing the heat of the blanket, she planted a kiss on the top of your head. "Go to sleep now sweetheart. I'll be right here."

𓍊𓋼𓍊𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𓋼

The next few months were harder then the both of you expected. But as always, Cordelia held her promise. She didn't give up on you. No matter the amount of times you told her it was too much and you couldn't do it anymore , she'd find her way into your head and convince you otherwise. Of course she was right.

Her arms were always open. Her light was on 24/7. There's wasn't an hour in the day when she wasn't there for you rubbing your back and telling you it was going to be okay.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𓋼

-A/N..... idk bout this one ngl......