Time Is Nothing (John Frusciante)

Chapter 36

"You got everything?" the sound of John's voice echoed through Cecilia's ears as she gathered her final belongings from the hotel room and then scanned through it just in order to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

"I think so," she nodded and smiled lightly as she picked up a lighter from a nearby dresser and shoved it into her purse.

The pair then exited the door of the room and continued walking through the hotel hall, all the sounds and voices that were echoing around Cecilia buzzing and fading in her ear almost as if she was in a movie. She was walking behind John, her mind completely empty, almost blank. She still had a hard time comprehending everything that had gone down during the last few hours, so much so that she almost wished that she was in a bad dream and that everything would be back to normal as soon as she woke up. The sad thing was that this wasn't a bad nightmare and everything happening around her was very much real.

It was the morning of May 8th, 1992, and last night, John had quit the band.

He was done.

And as soon as she and John made it out of the hotel, there were flashes. Almost blinding flashes going off all around them, almost making it impossible for Cecilia to get into the car properly. This whole tour had turned into a complete circus already months ago and this was the finish line.

At first, it seemed that things were slowly getting better. Even as Anthony wasn't thrilled about Cecilia joining the tour, he definitely wasn't as upset as she had feared. Almost desperate for absolutely any type of improvement in the band's dynamics, he figured that having Cecilia around could definitely not be worse than having John on tour without her, so he accepted John's decision to bring Cecilia along. Unfortunately, it only improved the setting for a number of days and soon, the relationships between the band were back to where they were before, if not worse.

During the whole European leg John would only alienate himself from the rest of the guys more and more, spending most of his time hiding out in his hotel room along with Cecilia, reading or playing music. Sometimes they would go on walks in the cities they were visiting, but as John insisted, it was always just the two of them, never together with the rest of the guys. They rarely joined others for dinner making Cecilia feel almost as if they were living in a completely different universe from the band. In fact, the only times John really spent time with his bandmates was either while doing press, which never amused him, in soundchecks or on stage. There was little if any effort coming from both sides to fix their issues and Cecilia had given up on mediating between them a long time ago.

Everybody was fed up with everything and then came the Saturday Night Live performance and that was when shit really hit the fan. Cecilia wasn't there to see it herself, because while the band made a stop in New York, Cecilia took a chance and headed to Los Angeles in order to see her family. But that didn't mean that she didn't see it from the television and watch it in absolute horror. And while Anthony was convinced that John sabotaged the performance in purpose and hated his guts, John himself never admitted to doing so and maintained that he was perfectly in key for the whole "Under the Bridge" fiasco. Cecilia didn't know what to think of it all, but she sure did know that after that performance, there was no hope of any improvement whatsoever. It was what it was and the shift between the guys only deepened.

And while John put most of his energy into hating his circumstances of life, he also dedicated his whole being to pot and wine consuption. So much so that by the time they made it to Japan, he would tell Cecilia about how he was convinced that there were people out to kill him. Being used to John's eccentricities and sincerely believing in his connection to other dimensions and spirits, she didn't think of it too much at first, but after a while it was clear that John was absolutely serious about it.