Time Is Nothing (John Frusciante)

Chapter 4

Almost two weeks had passed from the night Cecilia and John had spent together on the balcony, looking at the stars and talking. The following days went by surprisingly quickly for the both of them, probably due to the fact that they had become almost inseparable. When Cecilia wasn't in Gus' studio and John wasn't in the Chilis' rehearsal, they were spending time visiting Cecilia's favourite vintage stores and flea markets, listening to music in John's apartment, studying new photography and art, and rummaging around the best record stores in LA. On the days they couldn't meet up - there weren't many, but there were a few since the Chilis' had a huge show coming up, so John had to be in the rehearsal for the entire day - they talked on the phone for hours at a time about how their day had gone before drifting off to sleep. Whenever Cecilia was with John, or thought about him, or even as little as said his name, she felt warm and fuzzy and a smile crept on her face. Unbeknownst to her, John was feeling the same way. He couldn't get enough of her. A girl hadn't made him feel like that in a very long time, if ever. He tried to take in the elements of her presence as much as possible: the way she smelled, the way she laughed, the way she lit her cigarettes; but it always felt like she was just too complex of a being to be comprehended all at once.

*  

The show was set to take place on New Year's Eve, at Long Beach Arena. It was their first big arena headliner show and for what Cecilia had heard, everbody had been excited about it for ages. The management had pulled all the strings possible, considering that the show was even going to be recorded.

As Cecilia observed her surroundigs, she finally understood what John had in mind while saying "it gets bigger every time we perform somewhere". The backstage area was full of people running around in dozens of directions, yet you could still hear the audience outside. For a moment, Cecilia felt like everything surrounding her was just a massive blur and all the sounds started to blend together and echo in her head.

"Are you excited about the show? I took a peek at the stage and there is already so much people," John snapped her out of her dreamy state.

"I am. You really are getting bigger with every performance," Cecilia smiled.

"Well, there is no point in getting too big," he laughed.

Something about John seemed off. He was different. During the entirety of the evening, his behaviour had been rather cocky and arrogant. You could even say obnoxious at some point. Cecilia knew that John had a louder side to him at times, but it almost seemed like he was doing it on purpose, to put up a show.

"How are you doing, John? Who is this beautiful lady?" Cecilia was a little startled when a man with a fiming camera suddenly interrupted their conversation.

"Oh, this is one very special girl," he replied and turned to the man.

Looking all smug, he began blabbering something about leaving voice mails on Cecilia's answering machine and her never calling him back and then him being ready to spend hundreds of dollars to make sure she got transported to Long Beach. A story that was completely made up. Utterly confused, Cecilia just stood there, smiling uncomfortably.

"What were you going on about? That never happened," she raised the subject as soon as the camera guy had moved on to somone else.

"Oh, you know. Sometimes you gotta feed them some bullshit they're expecting," John laughed, looking unbothered.

Cecilia didn't like that side of John. She thought she knew him pretty good, but now started to doubt her judgement. The way he behaved with her around that camera man didn't sit well with her. It almost sounded like he presented her as some object he had managed to score. Was that how he really viewed her?