Sabriel Insanity

Questions but they came from a Deamus post-

Who wears the ugly holiday garb?

Gabriel has an ENTIRE SECTION of his closet designated to the holidays. Especially ugly Christmas sweaters. He's a nightmare to go out in public with when he's wearing them, honestly, Gabriel has worn every ugly holiday themed thing you can think of. Dean and Cas refuse to be seen with him around the holidays because of it. Sam thinks it's absolutely adorable.

Who pays for the meals?

Oh not this argument again-

Gabriel is under the impression that he must pay for all the meals. It's something instilled in him from ages ago, back when questionable parents told boys that they always had to pay for the food when they were out on a date with a pretty girl. Despite being gay as a rainbow slinky, Gabriel still thinks the rule applies to himself and therefore insists on paying for meals because he likes to spoil Sam, and paying for fancy food is an easy way to do that. 

Sam, on the other hand, wants to acknowledge that he appreciates Gabriel, and he knows that 95% of Gabriel's money goes directly to candy, so he doesn't want him to spend the rest of it buying them dinner. He's happy to pay. He enjoys it, and he's good enough at math that he always tips the right amount (albeit a little over cause he knows being a waitress sucks). He believes in the whole splitting the bill thing, where they each pay for their own food, but he also thinks that stupid when you're in a relationship as serious as him and Gabriel. So he wants to pay.

And thus, they fight over the check Every. Single. Time. You've never seen Rock Paper Scissors become as violent as they are with Sabriel and a dinner check.

Who slams the oven door and who plays the trombone?

Sam plays the trombone, because he's skilled enough to have musical training, whereas Gabriel is chaotic enough that he belongs with the oven door.

Who brings home stray animals?

I'll put it this way-

Sam: I really love dogs, but it's not like I can adopt a lot of them and it makes me sad to see them without homes :(

Gabriel: Why....Why can't you adopt them?

Sam: What?

Gabriel: *already carrying three dogs into their house*

Gabriel: What's stopping you?

Sam:.......

Sam: *following him into the house with a bag of supplies and another dog*

Sam: I love you.

Gabriel: I know.

Who tells the dad jokes?

G A B E. He's full to the brim with dad jokes, and it's the main reason why Sam is hesitant to have children with him. He's afraid he'll never live a pun free life again, and for good reason. 

Who wants more kids?

Gabriel. He adores kids. He thinks they're hilarious and adorable, and if he had a ton of his own then he could hug them and spoil them with presents and get candy under the guise of trick or treating with people that are the right age for trick or treating. Not to mention any child he has with Sam is guaranteed to be genetically superior and highly intelligent (Sam keeps trying to remind him that they can't have biological children, but Gabriel fails to see how that changes anything. Plus he's pretty sure Sam could definitely knock him up if he tried. He's certainly got the skills to do it.)

Who travels more?

It's a difficult question because they both really like to travel, and that means that Sabriel goes on vacation a lot, and the idea of Sabriel on a vacation makes this author WEAK. Sam travels more road trip style, seeing as he and Dean are trekking all over the place all the time (they tried one road trip with Sam, Dean, Cas, and Gabe. One was enough to convince them never to do it again). Gabriel is more prone to international travel. He spent most of his time at college abroad in places like London and Argentina. Where he gets the money to travel or the ability to communicate in so many different places, Sam will never know, but they got to stay at an elephant reservation on their last trip, so he's not complaining.