Sabriel Insanity

Questions from Cut!

A/N: Is this an OTP prompt? I have no idea. Should it be? YES. Here's the jist.

Sam and Gabriel, as an engaged couple, signed up to be interviewed about their relationship. They were taken to different rooms and asked the same questions. Their answers were then spliced together to get an accurate representation of their opinions on their relationship, because DRAAMAAAA

And smutty questions because you should stay smutty, my friends.

What's your partner's name?

Sam: My boyfriend's name is Gabriel.

Gabriel: Sammich is my bae.

How long have you two been together?

Sam: Too long.

Gabriel: Uh....I'm not sure I remember-

Sam: Seven years.

Gabriel: *mentally doing the math*

Gabriel: Eiiighhht years?

How'd you meet?

Gabriel: My brother is an excellent wingman.

Sam: Our brothers started dating and we met by extension and hit it off.

Describe your first date.

Sam: Oh god-

Gabriel: It was a complete disaster.

Sam: We went to a movie, and ended up getting kicked out...

Gabriel: It was Fifty Shades. We saw Fifty Shades and yelled judgments at the screen.

Sam: I threw popcorn. Gabe yelled some....very choice words about positions.

Gabriel: We're banned from the theater, but it was a great time.

Sam: Oh my god, we were such assholes- 

When was your first kiss?

Gabriel: Somehow, magically, it wasn't until our second date.

Sam: He knew I liked books and brought me to a bookstore, saying he figured we should do something tamer this time, and as a joke I said "I could kiss you right now." and he said "Why don't you?"

Gabe: Sometimes I see his lips in my dreams. I know that sounds weird, but like- if you'd been kissed by him, you'd understand.

Are you in love?

Sam: Oh, hands down. Definitely. He's a moron, but he's the love of my life.

Gabriel: Think like- big, bold NEON SIGN, rainbow confetti levels of in love.

Describe your relationship in three words

Sam: Um....Spontaneous, caring, and entertaining.

Gabriel: Passionate, hot, and wild. 

Is this the best partner you've ever had sexually?

Sam: WELL THAT TOOK A TURN.

Oh, just wait.

Gabriel: Oof, that's a difficult question-

Sam: I mean...Yes? Yes.....Yes. He's the best. 

Gabriel: Mhmmm, yeaaah. He's got moves.

Who's slept with more people?

Sam: Gabriel.

Gabriel: Definitely me, that's not even a contest.