THE WIDOWER.

CHAPTER 28.

CJ watched the lawn through his window as the gardener mowed it. He thought of how much he wanted to comfort Nora. He felt heavy not only with Olive's impending case but with Nora's outburst the previous night. He felt heavy and sorrowful for her and he wanted to know why had she broken down like that. What exactly happened to her sister.
"Lord Jesus I thank you for today, I am at a heavy place right now and I need your help. I pray for Nora Lord. I ask that Lord you will give her grace and extend your precious hand and pull her out of her pain and misery. I ask Lord you bring closure and healing over her pain in Jesus name. I thank you for Olive ,Nora and Jade who have become family. Lord this is way too much than I asked for . I am grateful. Thank you Lord walk with me and shine your light on my path. I ask this in Jesus name. Amen" CJ ended his prayer with a sigh and waited for all his worries to subside.
He went on to prepare breakfast as Mumbi was running late.
There was knock on his door and he opened to see the person he had been ignoring stand on the other side.
He was too shocked that he stood and did not move a muscle.
"Hello Christopher,it has been quite a long time." She greeted in tone that was too far from being pleased.
"Hello," he responded after snapping out of the shock of seeing his mother -in-law. She had not changed much expect for the fine lines that lined the corners of her eyes. And  bit of dullness in her eyes.
"Come in." He offered as he thought of how much he had avoided her after Shona's death.
"Lord please give me the strength." He prayed silently. He walked behind her as she surveyed the house. It was like reminiscing Shona's presence in the house. She reminded him of his dead wife from mannerisms to how she walked to the living room.
"What would you like? Tea or coffee." He asked.
She turned sharply looking at him as if she only noticing him then.
"Green tea would be okay,if you have any." She replied with a stiff nod and moved to make herself comfortable.
CJ rummaged quickly through the shelves hanging on the kitchen wall to find the said green tea.
After what seemed like an eternity, he returned with a cup of tea and placed it on the coffee table.
He sat on the opposite sit and he could not take the annoying silence any longer.
"Why are you here Nancie?" He addressed her with her first name.
"You can't bring yourself to address me as mother like before?" She cracked.
CJ kept quiet and decided to let the jab pass.
She sipped her tea and dragged the impending conversation.
"What happened Christopher that you forgot about me. I lost her too you know and you were like a son to me. When you left I was devastated thinking I had already lost two of my children and then you. I understand your reasons for leaving but why did leave without a simple goodbye?" She was now tearing up and all the sassy mask fell.
"I am sorry you feel that way,but don't think I have forgotten how much you accused me of her death. You threatened to sue me and throw me in jail. Your husband sent his goons and beat me up." CJ's voice was now laced with anger and bitterness.
"You called me all sort of names and you refused to respect my dead father." He pointed a finger at her.
"You Mrs Nancie threw shade that I only married her for her money. You said that she wanted out of our marriage and I trapped her with the pregnancy." He almost shouted and all the hidden things he never knew existed were resurfacing.
"Because that's the truth. She called me three months before her death and spoke to me about her torn decision. If you don't believe me I recorded our conversation and don't ask why,I just did." She reached out and opened her purse removing a small recorder and she played the audio.
CJ was trembling hearing her voice for the first time in eight years.
"Mum I don't think I made the right decision getting married to CJ. He is a good man but my heart is not here with him. There is this thing about me feeling death all around me just like Jamie mum. I want to tell CJ but his heart will be broken. Please come see me next week, I cannot stop feeling like this and I am scared for our unborn child. Did you feel like this about dad? Don't let CJ find about this. I love him but I guess love is not enough."
CJ could not believe what he was hearing it is like his little bubble was bursted and now everything was falling apart.
His heart beat so fast and looked at the pitiful look from his former mother-in -law.
"I am sorry I accused you wrongly without cause and from your reaction it seems you did not know what was going on with her. I thought you knew and that is why I said those harsh words." She apologized
"What happened when you came to visit?" CJ asked.
"She told me that she had been feeling so for quite sometime even before getting pregnant. At the beginning of your marriage. She started having second thoughts about being with you and it seemed she was becoming more numb each day." Nancie explained further.
"She seemed happy Nancie,all I wanted is for her to be happy and comfortable. She was a good actress then cause she made me believe she was happy with me." CJ scoffed at her memory.
"She was happy before you two got married ,after the wedding all things went south. She would cry for days as I came to discover one time she came to visit." Nancie went on.
"Whatever reasons she had she did not tell me everything. I am so sorry CJ for everything. I am sorry I never told you about all.."
She was cut off as Nora emerged in the room followed by Olive.
CJ watched them and all he could see was haze and his mind could not understand everything.
Olive came close to him to give him a hug but he coldly responded while ignoring Nora.
His heart was beating so fast and he felt like he was not breathing.
"Is this your new family?" Nancie asked .
CJ was silent and Nora watched him only for CJ to walk towards his room.
They all watched him walk away as Olive clutched unto Nora.
"My name is Nancie, his mother in law or you can say former." She greeted them.
"I am Nora and this is Olive we are not married and neither is she his daughter." Nora tried to explain glancing at the stair way.
"What has happened ? Why is he like that?" She asked.
"We just took a dive in the past and some ugly truths came out that he was not aware of." She explained gently.
After some few minutes Nancie picked her bag waving a good bye to them.
"He is one of the few decent ones take care of him. It was nice to meet you both." She left the house feeling free for the first time in the last eight years.
*********
CJ stared at Shona's picture and wondered how come he never noticed her sadness.
He was so upset that he was losing his calm.
Then he remembered they had quarreled some few days before the accident.
"You can't take that job with our little girl on the way." CJ shook his head.
"I have to. This is the part where I told you I can't give up about myself even for you Christopher." Shona countered.
"What about our baby? What about our marriage,we are just a young couple." He sighed tired from the argument.
He felt that they were going in circles without obtaining any solution. He was having a migraine.
"We can have someone look after her,she can stay with my mother as you work. We can just organize and I will visit from time to time." She explained unsure if he will read something from her tone or between the words.
"Visit? She is our daughter and she needs her mother why are you being selfish Shona? Juba is not a city near home but a city in some war torn country. What if something happens to you? You will leave me as a single dad and take care of her then remarry just to offer her some maternal care?" He grated his teeth.
"It is not like I am doing it on purpose. I want this can't you just understand? You are out there saving the world and doing what you like and here feeling left out and fat as a pig trying to tell you that I want to go back to work and all you care about is the future you don't even know about? Who is more selfish? She asked as tears welled up and she turned away from him.
CJ closed his eyes and thought of how upset he was making her and it was not healthy at all.
"I am sorry babe,I am and forgive me for not paying attention to your needs. We need rest and we will figure out all this marriage,parenting and working stuff slowly.
Am I forgiven?" He asked with a small smile.
Shona nodded and hugged him afraid that he might see something akin to satisfaction in her eyes.
CJ was interrupted by a knock.
Nora walked in cautiously, "hey I am taking my leave." She spoke quietly almost inaudibly.
CJ looked at her and noticed how different she looked. He thought maybe it was because of her letting her guard down.
He moved with a few strides and hugged her.
Nora stood shocked by his actions but stiffly patted his back.
"I am sorry about what you saw earlier on,I was just upset about some few things I didn't mean to ignore you." He explained as he let her go.
"It is okay. Take time and sort it out. I am here if you need to talk." She offered with a smile.
CJ looked at her and thought that maybe she looked more prettier in her 'not so sure look' than her cold demeanor she always preferred.
He held her closely looking for comfort and he knew he was over stepping his boundaries.
He kissed her cheek and quickly let her go for he knew that out of grief he might do something he will later regret.
"I will call you later." He promised.
Nora nodded and turned to leave. She turned around, "hey whatever it is you found out it was not your fault." She said and close the door as CJ gave a small nod.
He needed to find out more  about Shona and why she felt the need to end their marriage.