THE WIDOWER.

CHAPTER 41.

CJ knocked on Nora's door. He was nervous and he was not sure.
He heard a click. After wrestling for the last six days with himself and his fears.
He eventually realized that Nora meant so much to him.
He couldn't let Nora leave without telling her the truth. It was Jade who told her she was leaving for her vacation and she would not be back until three months are over.
"Hey?" He tried to catch his breath.
"Hey!" She looked shocked.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"I am.. I wanted to see you if that's okay." He stuttered.
She let him in.
He walked inside nervously. He saw the honorary award on her table and thought  she deserved it.
She folded her arms in front of her chest and waited for him to explain himself.
"I wanted to see you. Look I know I am not the best person for you and I have no right to ask you to change for me. I am only human and I will make mistakes. I will get mad and maybe say things that might hurt you but I want that to happen when I am with you. I want to stare at you even though that makes you mad and I want to  behold your cold looks more than thinking the last thing about us was you saying you don't deserve to be loved and wanted.
I love you Nora and it took a whole lot of silence from you to make me know that I do." He breathed so fast.
Nora watched him with an expression of tiredness. She smiled at him ruefully
"I hear you CJ and I see it through your eyes but I cannot love you truly when I don't who I am and what love is really about. You wormed your way into my cold heart with your easy smiles and gentle manners. You respected me and trusted me with your heart. I care about you more than any man I have met before. You showed me there is possibility of  a God who loves like you do and like Jade does.
I am not saying no to you. I am saying not right now." She replied as her eyes misted.
CJ hugged her so closely as he could do. Emotions were running all over the place but at least she was not giving up on them.
"I have to leave you know. I will join Jade's mother in Nakuru for a while before I visit my biological father." She informed him.
"Am I allowed to call you?" He asked.
"Yes once a day." She smiled him.
He grimaced but that was better than nothing.
"Promise me you will pick up my phone." He put a serious face.
"I will." She laughed.
He kissed her forehead and hugged for her for a minute.
CJ helped her put her suitcase in the trunk of her car as she locked her door.
Nora came and stood in front of him with a sad smile.
"It is only three months." She tried to ease his sadness.
"That's like a year." He groaned.
"Hey, I will be back soon." She said as she hugged and pecked his left cheek.
She slid in her car and started the engine while CJ waved goodbye to her.
It was going to be three long months but they were worth it.

*********
CJ parked his car in front of the restaurant and walked by in search of someone. He saw him and walked towards him.
On seeing him he stood and greeted him.
"I am glad you came." CJ said as he took the sit.
"I can't say that I was not surprised by your impromptu call." Malik admitted.
"I am sorry about. I have promised someone to do away with my past so as to embrace the future." CJ explained.
"A lady love?" He asked with a smile.
CJ watched him with a lifted eyebrow.
"Only a woman who has gotten to you would make you want to do things you never did before." He chuckled.
CJ smiled at that.
The waiter brought the menu. Malik ordered chicken curry with some fries. CJ ordered for a glass of milk with a piece of fruit cake.
The order made him miss Nora the more.
"Let build the bridges." Malik spoke after the waiter Left.
"I know you and my wif.. I mean Shona had a relationship before we got married and also a son." CJ cut straight to the point.
"I am sorry for finding the whole history this way mate. Believe it or not I loved Shona so much that I gave up everything to come and be with her. When I came, I found out she was engaged to you and trust me I never interrupted your relationship again until she called me three months after your wedding and said she knew she had made a mistake and now it is too late. She was pregnant then." Malik paused as the same waiter came  balancing their orders.
"Thank you." CJ thanked him.
"I told her it was dangerous but I was young and foolish back then. I encouraged her to quit the relationship and she said she was going to divorce you after the delivery of your child. I look back and I see how stupid of me  to support that even though I am a single dad, I have come a long way in understanding that no one should come between someone's marriage with or without a valid reason. Marriage is sacred."
Malik expounded as he sliced his chicken.
"Does your son know what happened to his mother?" He asked after chewing Malik's confession.
"Yes, I decided not to lie to him in any way because that boy is as sharp as a razor. I expected him to cry and throw a tantrum but he surprised me with his response. He told me that he was happy I was his father and that I had agreed to take care of him even if he misses his mom there are children who are homeless and no one wants them." Malik said with a smile.
He looked proud of his son.
"Sounds like what Shona would say." CJ quipped.
"I usually see her through my son's eyes, every single day I am reminded of Shona." Malik admitted.
They ate in silence as their thoughts were mulled in prospect of what it was to have Shona in their lives.
"Don't you think that your son should meet his maternal grandmother?" CJ suggested.
Malik stared at him with uncertainty.
"The woman needs to know that she did not loose all her children and that she has a surviving grandson who is her flesh and blood." CJ reasoned.
"The woman did not like me, how sure are you that she will accept me and my son?" He asked.
"Nancie maybe a lot of things but I know she will accept her grandson. She lost two of her children she will see this as a gift from God and I know her grief will come to an end."  CJ concluded.
Malik Kept quiet and chewed his food.
"I will think about it." He finally spoke.
CJ nodded as he gulped his milk.
"Why have you not married?" CJ queried.
Malik chuckled, "I would ask you the same." He evaded his question.
"I will soon hopefully." He admitted.
Malik smiled.
"I have no valid reason. I have devoted my time to my son and my company. All the ladies I have met have not met the standard that I want which is loving my son as their own flesh and blood." He clucked his tongue out of frustration.
CJ nodded with understanding. He looked at Malik and thought it was not easy for him too. Giving up Shona for his own family that rejected  him and his son. He also has had his own share of pain and he could see it at the thought of Nancie rejecting her grandson. He was angry at him for being the man Shona loved and even jealous of that they had  child together. At the moment he was seeing Malik's devastation and turmoil of rejection and certainly by people who should have been embracing him. Our choices have consequences whether bad or good. Malik and his son had lost Shona just the same way he did and the worst part was he was reminded of that every single day while he on other hand had a few pictures and memories that were fading away.
CJ was filled with compassion and all resentment towards this man vanished.
"Lord I pray for this man before me. Let Him be found by you. Just like I was lost and you found me. Find him Lord and show him you accept and don't reject anyone who comes to you. Amen' CJ prayed silently.
"Well lunch is over and thank you for calling me." Malik spoke as he looked at his watch.
"Yes, I am grateful you showed up." CJ appreciated.
Malik stood to leave as he gave the waiter his card to swipe.
"Look, I know there is one lady who loves Ajay as his her own flesh and blood." CJ spoke.
Malik turned towards him.
"Phoebe Muli." CJ said with a smile.
Malik blushed.
"She is off limits. She is Shona's best friend." Malik dismissed his claims.
"Is she? I saw her phone's wallpaper and it was of Ajay and you. I think she is very much within limits. " CJ snitched.
Malik smiled knowingly.
CJ walked away toward his car. He knew that he had let go of Shona the moment he saw Malik.
He felt it in his spirit.