THE WIDOWER.

CHAPTER 37.

CJ watched Nora's wide eyes. She looked shocked at the crowd and less on seeing him with Olive.
She moved around the house receiving congratulations and she politely received them with a smile. Jade sat on the far left couch with her baby in her arms.
She smiled at her and talked softly to her husband.
CJ felt like all was passing by and he wanted to shake off the melancholy feeling but even his favorite human could don't distract him. He knew how he responded to her was not fair yet he could not help but distance himself. Olive tapped him with worry.
He smiled at her as he signaled her to go play with Daniel's daughter. Olive left reluctantly.
Daniel and his wife Soni looked happy and escatic as they put food on the dinning table.
Richard on the other end was vying for Nora's attention as he spoke to her tenderly. Rick was up and about with the making sure Jade was eating and not moving too much.
He watched as Jade's mother walked past him with a tray of fruits. He seemed to be watching them from a distance.
Their voices were like far off. He sipped his juice to quench his thirst.
He wanted to excuse himself and go wallow in pain at the comfort of his home.
After his discovery of Shona's betrayal he felt numb and he was afraid that he may be returning  to America and never come back.
"What about Olive?" The rational voice asked him.
"We can leave together." He argued back.
"What about Nora? You cannot go without her too." The voice spoke.
"She can move on with someone else. After all it is not like we are in a relationship." He argued back.
He didn't know if he would trust himself to another like he did with Shona and he would hate to make Nora love him and for him to hurt her.
He shifted again as all thoughts ran across his mind.
He felt nauseated and betrayed. He wanted to gag at the thought of Shona's smile when he asked her to marry him.
His palms were sweaty and his breathing clustered. He saw a blurred figure before him.
"CJ ! CJ!" Someone snapped him out of his dark thoughts.
"You hurt yourself!" Nora cried out.
He looked at the broken glass and blood dripping.
He was more stunned as he watched the broken pieces of glass on the floor while others pierced his right palm.
"Come let's get you cleaned up." Nora dragged him away from the surprised crowd.
Nora matched to the guest room and ordered him to sit.
He sat without a fuss. Nora returned with  a first aid kit. She started working on his hand.
"I am sorry I didn't mean to cause an  alarm." He apologized.
Nora went on working without much of a glance at him.
"Hey!" He tapped Nora with his other arm.
"CJ, what is going on with you?" She asked and went on cleaning the cuts and rubbing alcohol on them.
"I am sorry. I don't know what is it but I have not been myself lately. I guess after my mother-in-law's visit nothing is the same." He confessed.
Nora tied a bandage on his palm gently.
"Yes, I know. I am sorry that all this is heavy on you but you can't shut people out." Nora said with a strained voice.
"That's hypocritical of you to say. You have been shutting people out your entire life." CJ snapped.
"At least I didn't not pretend while at it. I had only Jade and she knew how much I never felt the need to talk about it unlike you who left a lot of your friends worried sick about you without a word." She snapped her anger simmering.
They both took a breath.
"Maybe I am a hypocrite because I lost my sister when we were eighteen after living with an abusive stepfather who raped her for four years and tried to do the same to me. Maybe I am a hypocrite because our father left us when we were six and never came back and our mother neglected us. Maybe I am a hypocrite because I never told anyone because I didn't trust them or because I have scars and trust issues. Maybe I am a hypocrite because I kill those who break the law when I am not so innocent. Maybe I am a hypocrite that I like you even when I know I am not good enough for you because you seem different from the rest of them all yet here we are and I wonder why I bother so much." She rumbled her inner thoughts without second thoughts.
CJ looked at her, "I am sorry Nora I didn't know you went through all that." He came close but Nora stepped backwards.
"I am sorry for what Shona did to you and I have no right to call you out." Nora mumbled and turned to leave.
The door banged and then there was silence. CJ composed himself.
He joined others who were now watching them warily.
Jade cut the tension and started giving a speech on how they met with Nora.
"Happy birthday Nora bear. We met in a very dramatic way but I wouldn't change it. You were ghetto and I admired how you carried yourself. Your courage and boldness made me want to go for a military training." Everyone chuckled.
"But I am most grateful that you became my very very best friend and a sister.
Happy birthday girl!" Jade ended her talk.
Everyone chorused 'happy birthday'.
"Let's eat." She invited.
CJ dug into his plate but could not stop staring at Nora who was doing a good job ignoring him as she conversed with Soni and Daniel.
"Salad?" Jade's mum cut in his thoughts
"Yes sure." He ruefully accepted.
"I know you like my girl." She said cheerfully.
CJ was puzzled before he understood she was speaking about Nora.
He blushed.
"She is my daughter too. I have heard great things from Jade about you and I am glad that you have taken an interest in her." She went on.
"Thank you ma'am." He said.
"Call me mum or if it is uncomfortable Sally will do." She smiled at him, "ma'am makes me feel like a school principle." She laughed.
"Yes,Sally I like her." He agreed.
"Then you should know that she is brave,courageous but deep inside she still a girl who is struggling with love and acceptance. When I first met her she declined I hug her because her mother never hugged her. She is still that lost girl who craved to be loved and fought for.  I still pray for her every single day that God will bring her close. I love her as a daughter and maybe she will give you a chance. In my opinion you stand a better chance. One time my nephew was smitten with her but Nora threatened to castrate him if ever dared to touch her again. My nephew was determined even after all the threats. He eventually gave up after an audible slap when he tried to kiss her behind our yard."
She informed CJ with a small laughter.
CJ laughed imagining a furious Nora slapping a boy infatuated with her.
"Nora may look cold like a steel on the outside but on the inside she has a tender spirit and heart that can be crushed anytime someone hurts her. She is more than just police officer, she is a woman and we women want to be wooed and feel wanted." She whispered the last part.
CJ smiled nervously as Sally gave him a cheeky smile.
They went on conversing quietly around the table.
There was a knock on the door.
Rick went to open the door. They heard foot steps as a lady stood holding a gift bag.
"Hi! I am Pendo a friend of CJ's" she introduced herself nervously.
CJ had forgotten that he had invited her.
Jade welcomed her, "come in sit with us."
Olive jumped to hug her as they sat together.
Nora's face was unreadable as Pendo passed her gift towards her.
CJ groaned as he had forgotten to tell Nora about Pendo.
Nora turned away and kept talking to Richard who was now surprised as everyone else.
"Hi? Did I come at a wrong time?" She questioned CJ nervously.
"No,not all." He waved her off.
"What happened to your hand?" She asked him.
"A small accident happened earlier." He explained.
CJ smiled at her Olive and kept pushing food down his throat.
He stole a glance towards Nora who looked disturbed.
His eyes met Jade's that wanted answers. He nodded and that satisfied her.
"This was a mistake!" He groaned inwardly.