THE WIDOWER.

CHAPTER 42

Days passed as Nora settled in Nakuru with Jade's parents. They were welcoming and warm. She had opted to stay home with Sally and relax. Every evening she anticipated CJ's call and they talked for lengthy hours.
She was starting to fill her days with house chores and gardening which was therapeutic and enjoyable.
On the first Sunday she visited church with Sally and her husband Elijah. This was her first time in a church after a very long time. She was nervous about her decision but Sally was like mother hawk and assured her she was going to be okay.
She loved the music and listened to the preaching intently. She could say she understood the concept of why Jesus had come to earth. Sally helped her with her questions and Elijah too made sure she didn't feel left out when they talked about God.
She volunteered to work at his clinic as she knew a few things about using bandages and stitching someone.
Sally answered her questions about the Bible as best as she could and Nora was  settling  with the idea that God was good.
She started liking God as funny as that sounded she felt her life was in a phase of Metamorphosis.
She saw herself as an ugly caterpillar that would blossom to a beautiful butterfly with time.
She always looked forward to her talk with CJ and after words reading the Bible and meditating on some verses Sally had given her to think upon.
Nora was now fond of the Bible stories as she viewed the characters and how God used despite their shortcomings. They made more sense now than when they attended Sunday school the few times they did. They did not even get a chance to join the church choir. She told God one night that if she lived those times it would have been difficult for her not try and join the army and fight.
Her investigative instinct kicked and she borrowed study guides and notebooks so that she could put down her notes and research.
She did not struggle with attending church but she looked forward to. Sally urged her to attend one of the Bible study groups so that she can get a deeper knowledge of the word of God.
She declined the first three times but she attended one and since then her questions increased.
It is still puzzled her why would God still allow His Son die on wooden cross over people like her.
A month had gone and she still could not believe her progress. Jade would be very elated to know her quest for God. She and Sally agreed to keep this between them.
She saw the possibility of forgiving his father,step father and mother.
Here she was driving to visit her father in some outskirts of Nyahururu town.
She hoped that he did not shut the door on her face.
She was determined to hold this conversation despite the heartbreak and disappointment that would have occurred.
She parked her car outside his gate and stayed inside the car contemplating the risks.
He knocked on it and waited.
A girl of around twelve years of age opened with a puzzled face.
"Is your dad home?" She asked her nervously.
"Yes he is. May I ask who you are?" She questioned Nora.
Nora thought of saying 'tell him his daughter is here' but refrained.
"Tell him a friend of his is waiting." She said with a tiny smile.
The girl did not look like she believed her but went away.
After five minutes the girl returned, "he is waiting for you." She ushered her in the homely bungalow.
She saw two bicycles on the veranda and a swing on the furthest corner.
Nora thought why would he not have stayed and built them such.
She entered the living room as the girl led her towards the man he had resented her entire life.
He had aged from the way she remembered him, he looked different with his reading glasses.
Nora's heart raced and her palms sweated.
He looked at her waiting for her to speak.
She trembled and almost regretted her impromptu visit.
"Hi" she spoke in her native language that she found needless to speak and she had not done so in a long time.
"It is me Nora, daughter of Belinda." She introduced herself nervously.
The man's eyes widened in recognition. He stood and shook her hand.
"Welcome, please sit down." He said quickly and turned to his daughter who watched them curiously.
"Mary go tell your mom to bring tea because we have a guest." He sent her away.
"I am sorry I never called to say I was visiting." She apologized.
"Nonsense you are welcome. Feel at home." He said with a small smile.
Nora wondered if he knew the damage he had caused to his former family but she pushed those ugly thoughts away.
"I am supposed to apologize for not looking for you sooner. I know we have a terrible history but I am glad you are here." He offered his apology as if he was reading her mind.
Nora agreed with a single nod.
"Why did you leave us?" Nora squeaked.
Her Father kept quiet and shook his head with a tiny smile.
"I didn't leave you, not intentionally. Your mother made me leave. Let's begin from the beginning. I had married your mother through a customary marriage and we were happy our first two years of marriage. I had landed my first accountant job in a small company of exporting fruits and vegetables back then. She on other hand was a secretary in one of the government offices. She worked with the ministry of lands.
We had promised each other to grow our family and ensure our kids had a good future with better living conditions and education. I had traveled to Nairobi one time and I stayed there for a week. We called each other every night using telephone booths.
Two days before my return she didn't call me and I was worried. When I came home I found out she had traveled home.
She came back but something in her had changed. She would stare at walls for hours and would talk very little.
One month down the line she found she was pregnant and I was escatic though she wasn't. I tried to cheer her up and she came through.
We waited for your birth. The day came and doctor surprised us saying it was not just one baby but two.
I  was thrilled especially since they were girls.
Belinda looked depressed but it didn't deter my joy of being a father to two beautiful girls.
Everyone congratulated us but Belinda was suffering from a turmoil that I couldn't understand.
We would argue and she would say that I loved you two more than her. Most of the time she refused to breastfeed you until I threatened to have her arrested. Though they were empty threats and I could not bear seeing you two suffer. My mother intervened and stayed with you two until you were six months.
Belinda started drinking and slowly she drifted and neglected both you and me. I sent her home to her mother so she could straighten up." Her father paused as a woman walked in with a flask of tea and China cups.
She smiled at Nora as she served her tea.
"Darling, this Nora and Nora this is my wife Susan." He gave a brief introduction.
Nora wondered why he never introduced her as his daughter.
The slender woman sat next to her husband who was watching her warily.
Nora turned to him as a go ahead sign.
"Two months later she came back changed and promised she would try and do better. Year after year things got worse and I was tired of her exasperating behavior and I told her if she went on like that I was going to leave with you and Lora. She gave me a bitter laughter and since she was drunk I let her be.
You both were six years and that night we quarreled and she revealed a devastating truth to me.
She told me that you and Lora were not biologically mine." Jacob paused to gauge Nora's reaction.
Nora's hand shook as she put the delicate cup down.
"You mean mom cheated on you?" Nora almost screamed.
Jacob shook his head, "no,your mother was sexually assaulted at her office and her boss threatened her to silence. It took a toil on her for her boss blamed her for 'trying to seduce him with her short skirt'. She was ashamed of herself and it was worse when she found out she was expecting a product of that shameful afternoon." He narrated as his eyes misted.
"Why did you leave? Why did you not stay and help her?" Nora panicked as the weight of her mother's pain and drunkardness sank in her heart and she felt pity for her mother for the first time.
"I was angry Nora, very angry but she told me it was better I leave than stay with a woman who was defiled. I refused and she told me I deserved better than raising someone's else children. I called my mother and explained everything and she took it so seriously that the following morning she brought you both back. I saw the disdain with which she looked at you and your mother. She urged me that I should leave your mother for the sake of my reputation. I was young back then and stupid so that night I left you two without a simple goodbye because I couldn't look you in the eyes and tell you the truth." Jacob sighed.
Nora was shaking and quivering. She came to find out the truth and above all spew some harsh words against his father's negligence. All her life she had blamed her father for leaving them behind. For making them suffer out of cowardliness.
"When I moved out it was hard and I had to stay away but Belinda and I kept in touch. When you were eleven she called me and told me you were trouble at home and I should find you a boarding school luckily I knew the headmistress of the school you attended and I booked the admission for you. I helped with paying your school fees. When you refused to come back ,I persuaded your mother to let you be and allow you stay with your sister. Though for Lora no complains were given yet I never liked your step father for he was a useless fellow." Jacob admitted.
"Did she tell you that the useless fellow raped her daughter under her nose for four years?" She asked bitterly.
Jacob's eyed widened.
"No, she didn't." He answered.
"That useless fellow raped her for four years and he tried to do so to me. He physically abused me every time I disobeyed him. Why do you think they wanted me to go to a boarding school? To keep me away as he went on molesting my sister and my mother had no clue. I have a body full of scars and whips. When I found out his dirty secret I vowed not to let my evil step father touch her again. Did she tell you Lora tried to commit suicide?" Nora interrogated Jacob who hang his head on the accounts Nora was giving.
His father shook his head in frustration.
"Your mother called me when Lora disappeared and I helped in looking for her. I searched for her every where I could think of. I asked my police friends to help me but it was to no avail." He confessed.
"You did that?" Nora was surprised.
He nodded.
"After her funeral you disappeared from home and your mother told me you had insulted her in every way possible and promised never to go home which you kept. I searched for you only to find out that you had gone to live with you cousin and later on you Joined the police force." He added.
"Do you know why? I wanted to find Lora and I wanted to use government resources so I joined them. I wanted to arrest men like Philip and make them rot in jail. I searched for Lora but it was all a dead end.
One time I traced you before you moved away from Nairobi and I found you. I was angry and bitter about everything and when I came I saw you with your family. I turned to leave before I did something drastic." She said as bile rose up to her mouth at the thought.
Jacob watched her with pity and said nothing.
"Susan helped me out depression and loneliness. We got married and had two wonderful kids. My son is eighteen and my daughter twelve." He said proudly.
Nora felt devastated.
"I know Nora this is not how I wanted you to find out but there is never a right time. Forgive me for abandoning you and never checking on you. I am sorry Nora." Jacob begged her.
Nora stood up," I forgive you and I would ask you to forgive me for holding a grudge against you all this time. I think my time is up." She said as she turned to leave.
"This is your home too Nora and if it is okay with you I would love if you can still see me as a father figure in your life. You have never stopped being my daughter not in anyway." Jacob and Susan stood to bid her a farewell.
Nora nodded as she opened the door to leave. Her world has turned upside down and now she felt like an emotional wreck.
She reversed her car to leave.
She wished she could see her mother at the moment and shake answers out of her.
She drove back to Nakuru as she thought her little bubble has been bursted.
"Now what?" She asked no one.