10 Minutes

Looking Back

Looking back it felt like an eternity had passed and yet it had been less than half a year. Anil has been rounded up just days after Can received the envelope with his attempt at bribery. After Metins investigation had been concluded and charges of extortion, accessory to commit the crimes of kidnapping, and rape, acts of invasion of privacy, false witness, tampering with evidence, the list was so long that he too would spend whatever money he had defending himself but their was no way out for him. He had asked for a plea deal, willing to give up anything and anyone to save himself, but there would be none of that. Eventually he was convicted on all counts and he would be lucky to get out of prison before his seventieth birthday. Yigit was a different matter, his half brother would never see the outside of a prison cell. Aziz had gone to him on several occasions trying to reach the child he never knew he had but Yigit had fallen further into his own fantasy, believing himself to be Can and could only see Aziz as his father from that point of view. Each time Aziz left he came home depressed and a little older. Can tried talking him out of it but Aziz was adamant. It was the least he could do for the boy who bore the weight of being born a bastard and that was his fault. Had he not made love with Miribahn she would never had gotten pregnant and this would never have occurred, but Can reminded him that he and Leyla would never have been born as well. Life was difficult and complicated and outcomes were never guaranteed, so the best they could do was move forward with what they had, and that was a lot of love and empathy and forgiveness. Can knew that as far as he was concerned the book on Yigit was closed. He could never regard the man that had done him so much harm as his brother. He felt pity for him. As a child he had been cruelly abused and that was not his fault. He had been given a stacked deck against him but each person must take up their own flag and learn, become accountable for their own life and make a way for themselves. God knew he had made plenty of mistakes himself and he couldn't blame an abusive past for it. On the contrary his childhood had been loving and filled with warmth and laughter. As he held two sleeping children in his arms he marveled at what his life had become. He was a father of four. Three of his own and his nephew, a child so loving and pure that he dreaded the day that he would have to share the details of his origin. He made a vow to encourage all his children to share their hurts and struggles as well as their victories so that they would grow up strong and confidant as well as kind and empathetic. That more than anything would shape their worldview. There was nothing more important than walking in someone else's shoes. It prevented you from judging them so harshly knowing that your circumstances are as much a game of chance and fate as persistence and perseverance. He lay the children down in their beds and covered them with the light throw blanket. They would nap for a solid hour. He kissed them lightly atop their heads and walked across the room to the other two already asleep. The four of them looked like princes and princesses with their holiday clothes. He kissed the other two and walked out of the room closing the door on the way out. He walked down the hallway and across the dining area and toward the library/study passing by the room filled with the adults and his wife. He stopped and stared at her for a moment before moving past the family scene being enjoyed by all. He closed the door to the room they had created with warmth and care surrounded by books and photography, and most recently finger painting and rice crispy designs. It was an escape into the imaginative world of their art and work. He sat on his side of a large two person desk and pulled out his phone. He found the number quickly and dialed it before he changed his mind. When the line answered he quickly made his request and was informed that his appointment request would be verified and if approved he would receive an email with the requirements and time. He thanked the man and wished him a happy new year. His hands ran through his hair that had managed to reach his shoulders now. He opened the drawer of his desk to look for a hair tie that he knew his wife would have left for him. Instead his hands found a medium sized envelope with his name clearly written across the top in large irregular letters. His hands stilled before pulling the envelope out forgetting about the hair tie he had gone looking for. The envelope was thick and bordered with blue and red glitter. He knew instantly who had made it for him. He turned it around and carefully opened it up trying not to tear the construction paper the envelope was made from. He reached in pulled out a photograph of his family. All of them. His parents, Melis and Aziz in the right hand corner, his mother in her wheelchair and Aziz behind her. On the other end were Leyla and Emre and their children in each arm, and next to them Osman, Sanem Twin. The. To the forefront and sitting on a bend were he and Sanem with their four children siting on the grass at their feet. Boy girl boy girl. He smiled as a tear rolled down his face. He hadn't taken this picture, it had been his nephew whom had developed a serious interest in photography and journaling. He remembered that late summer day as he showed the little boy how to adjust the aperture and the timer and frame the picture he would take. The child listened attentively and he could see him making adjustments until it was just right. He directed the adults to sit or stand just so and at the last minute turned in all directions looking for the nanny who had gone off to make lemonade, assuming that she would not be in the photo. Instead he brought her into the frame, leading her by her hand and placed her next to his father. Kissing her cheek as he scampered away. All the adults just watched as the little boy showed them how to love properly. Then when everything was just perfect and his cousins were squeaking and squawking at having to stay still for so long he said, "on the count of three" and ran to take his place. When the camera snapped they all let out a cheer. He gazed down at the picture and smiled touching their faces with his fingers that trembled slightly. He turned the picture around and his eyes filled with tears. "To the best baba. Thank you for showing me how to take memories with your camera. I want to be just like you one day. Love, Gio." He didn't hear the door open but felt as soft arms wrapped around his shoulder from behind.
"Awe-you found his gift. He was so proud Can. He wanted to surprise you. He said you would find it when you came to think in your special room. He's such an old soul Can. He really is special". Sanem kissed his temple and made her way around to stand along side him as he swung the chair around pulling her down and into him. "I'm so lucky Sanem. So lucky to have you all. It's because of you I have such a beautiful life. Thank you Bebeck. Thank you for everything. For loving me and my children so well". He kissed her deeply as their bodies created instant heat touching each other. She pulled away and held his face in her hands. "I can't tell if you're happy or sad Can. Your eyes seem melancholy. What is it?" He nodded his head side to side "I'm filled with so much happiness I feel guilty. I don't deserve it but I could never live without it". He kissed her softly letting his lips travel softly across her face. They both breathed in quickly and then straightened up as their names were being called out loud. "Come, let's get back to the adults before you mother catches us". They walked out of the room hand in hand but not before Can placed the new picture right in the center of the desk. Tomorrow he would find a frame suitable for his sons masterpiece. Although Gio was truly his nephew he would always be loved as his son, no more and no less.