Prince of Asgard (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 14 - Y/n

A sudden shock of bright lights shine in my eyes. Why the bloody hell is my mind so bright? The brightness hit me like a torch in the middle of the night. It took me a good minute to adjust and blink away the brilliance. My hands still covering my face, I squinted to look at Loki who seemed to be having no trouble at all. In fact, he was staring at me. Great. He looked angry with a tinge of guilt. Either he has seen too many minds like mine or he's been in my mind before.

"You've been here already, haven't you?" A long shot by me, yet again. It's becoming a habit now I guess.

Loki hesitates and averts my gaze. He turns around and looks interested in my mind now. He is stalling for time, conjuring up another lie. I know he is too proud to speak up.

"Speak up!" I yell.

He turns around slowly on his heels, his smirk and confidence tells me he his ready with his lie. I exhaled and prepared myself.

"What petty reason led you to allow me, a God adept at manipulating, gain access to your mind? You do realize I can practically control you if I do decide to unearth what lies within you."

"If you do decide? Haven't you already gone into the depths of my mind? Haven't you already learnt my secrets? Haven't you unearthed me? I say, why hold back any longer. Go on and take me! Use me! Control me! Oh wait! Haven't you already done that? Haven't you played your part already?!"

Loki took me in, my anger, my questions and decided to change the topic.

"Yeah well, I'd agree it was apt, considering what you had done earlier." Loki stood in front of me, calm and collected. His hands behind his back. He was gaining authority. Giving me a smirk, he takes out his right hand from behind his back and swipes a projection to my left in a smooth flow. It was the same hologram he showed me in the chamber.

Loki doesn't carry remorse or guilt as I do. I could be crying about breaking a promise weeks later and he could have stabbed Thor and still not carry it. He knows I carry the guilt of invading his personal space way too heavily than he does mine.

"Oh yeah, so that's how you wanna play? Then you chose violence." I do the same as Loki and throw a projection opposite to his. The projection was of the moment he was confused and then relaxed onto his seat by my bed. "Have something to say? Perhaps another lie?"

Loki's jaw dropped open, panic written on the face of an otherwise collected man. He was breathing faster, his eyes dancing from one end to the other, trying to make sense. His mind was working double shifts trying to avoid this mess. Finally he let out a sigh.

"Well...it was unintentional. I never meant to see the hidden parts of you. Y/n I'm sorry you had go through all of that. Alone."

His words stung me more than comfort me. He saw what I went through and he thinks it's bad. Oh the years I spent beating myself that what I have gone through is nothing. That it is stupid and shouldn't bother me. But here, Loki acknowledging that it is bad, changes my view. Changes who I tried to become so hard. My throat starts to ache as I push back my tears.

"So you have, in fact, been in here." I put on a brave face, a desperate attempt at control. Loki falls silent. Nothing is conveyed further. I decided to fill in the silence. I collect myself and speak in a soft voice.

"I didn't mean to pry. I wanted to know more about Yaana and its people and...me. I had searched the entire library but found nothing. So I entered your restricted section in hopes to find something, and then your journal came to my notice...and well, you know the rest." I wanted to say more, tell him that I had read only a page and that I respected his privacy but he was already picking on his palms. Something he did only when hurt. I shut up and let him take it in.

He sighs and brushes his fingers through his hair. He wasn't expecting an answer but he did get one.

"It was a con." The colours from both the projections died out. The two of us dissolved the projections. My eyebrows shoot up.

"I'm sorry what?"

"I...lied. There is Yaana, there are Sedhs. There isn't a Goddess Y/n."

Merlin's bread! Have some mercy on me! Each time I know he will lie to me and each time I fail to guess what about. This was so far beyond what I would have ever imagined. Everything was true, his relations to the Goddess, his destiny and everything but me! I was just a trick!

I scoff out a mirthful chuckle, "So yet again, I'm just a nobody. You know I've spent my entire life not knowing who I am. When you told me that I have a history, I was relived and curious to know who I was. But you just enjoy bursting bubbles, don't you? And if there is no bubble, you'll create one and then burst it. How can you be so bloody heartless? I...wow, you're unbelievable. I am so sorry I dare trust you. I really thought that you were good, that you were just trying to protect yourself from horrors of life, but you're so stuck up and so full of yourself that I hate you. That's right. I hate you, Loki."

I don't know what Loki felt, I didn't dare try know it. I avoided him altogether and clapped my hands, once and hard. A blast of green and we left the space. I gave Loki a look full of disgust, pushed him and stormed away. He shouldn't have done this. I may be blowing this out of proportions, but why should I be rational all the time? I can and I will be unreasonable this time.

The journal from the library is conjured in Loki's hands. He opens it up and writes on a fresh page.

"I never meant to hurt y/n. Well, yes I did. I hoped that she would flee at the mention of becoming a part of some prophecy. At me trying again and again to deceive and hurt her. I've seen countless Gods doing the same, and she is just a mortal. But a brave one. I have made a grave mistake downplaying her resilience. She will become a part Asgard's tales of heroes and Gods. I believe in that. Father hates those whom he knows can threaten his position. He has always been my measure of making allies. Weak people flock around him, strong ones stay away.

Lying to y/n, stabbing her, threatening her, hurting her were all means to me. A means that I could use to steer her away. I would never be able get over her and so I need her to stay away from me. I have had so much trouble accepting her. I kept denying my concern, my...feelings...for her. Over the months, my fondness for her company has increased ten-folds. When she is around, I halt everything else. I will never find it in myself to tell her, so I tell myself here.

I love you, y/n."