Prince of Asgard (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 30 - Loki

*This chapter is from Loki's POV*

I screamed the loudest scream I possibly could and all of Nine Realms, even the deepest circle of Hel must've heard it. I pounded my fists on the floors of the Bifrost, why did she push me away? I could've taken her with me. But no, Heimdall had to act all important. 

I snap my head up and lurch at his frame, "Heimdall! How dare you not allow Y/n into Asgard?!" The veins on my forehead were visible and clearly about to burst. I was furious at Heimdall. It is him because of whom I lost my....my Y/n...

I ran away from the Bifrost, not wanting to even look at Heimdall. It isn't me to run away without properly gauging a situation, but without Y/n, I'm not me either.

Reaching my chambers, sliding down the locked doors, I took my head in my hands, trying to drown out everything that ever existed to be able to focus on what now ceased to exist – Y/n.

I saw her, the first time she took me in her arms when I was a cat. The kissy noises she made while drying me up. The cooing me to sleep. The cuddling. When I had looked at her, she seemed to me the kindest soul. When I got to know her, I knew her to be the kindest soul. Oh what I wouldn't do to crawl into her arms, to be kissed all over in the sweetest way. To be petted like I'm the most precious thing. I crave that love, I crave her love.

I rolled to my side, easing onto the floor, my sobs incessant. I haven't cried like this ever but she was worth every first of mine. I gulped down, feeling the cold floor against my cheek, tears pooling near my eye duct and spilling from the other side, my hair falling on my face yet there wasn't anything that could earn a movement out of me. My fingers traced her name on the floor, not knowing where else I could write it. If I were to use my journal, all the paper and ink in the Nine Realms would be exhausted yet I wouldn't stop writing her name. Like a prayer one can't stop chanting in the hopes it might accomplish the impossible.

I kept staring at her name, never once ceasing my cries. Tonight, not even the finest wine, finest mead, could save me from the pain. I knew her departure would hurt, but it would've been easier to live with it because she would've at least been alive. I could've peeked at her smiles, her laughter, her singing voice. But her death...it changes every hope of bargaining. Now I only have holograms and botched memories. Memories that I had purposefully ruined. How I curse my wicked mind to think of such cruel ways to push her away. She died without knowing true, passionate love when she deserved all of it and more. If only I could go back...I would've loved her till the end of love itself.

The morning sun shone upon my listless figure which had somehow hauled itself on the bed over the night. I rolled over and pulled the covers over me, I couldn't be bothered. Thoughts of Y/n flooded my mind once again and I had begun to cry once again.

For the next two days, that's how I spent my time. In my chambers, alone and sobbing. Wasting away like some pathetic scum, which I believe I truly was considering how I treated Y/n.

I was lying on my bed when I heard footsteps shuffling outside my chambers. I bit down on my sobs and stuffed the covers in my mouth lest a sound escaped. Holding my breath, I wait for the feet to go away. Judging from the hesitation and the heavy boots, it ought to be Thor.

"Brother...are you well?"

I kept holding my breath, hoping that he'd think I'm not in here and go away.

"I know you're in there." He paused, hesitating before continuing, "Father seeks your company."

Unable to hold my breath any longer, I let it out shakily and wipe my tears. Why should I be bothered by father? He left me on Yaana all alone, left me there with no means of communication. He could've sent at least someone to fetch for me after realising that something is amiss. After realising that his own son hasn't returned from another planet. He couldn't have had been more ignorant.

Still, I knew better than to shrug him away so I let Thor know I'm coming. I moved around in a haze and went through my morning routine without caring much. For me, getting dressed to play the part has always been important, but now...I simply don't care.

Running my hands through my hair, I stepped inside the Grand Hall. Oh Gods, this is going to be an intense battle of words. I don't have to think twice before a quip, but it requires energy nonetheless. Energy that I cannot find in myself today.

"Do you know you've destroyed Yaana?"

My eyebrows shot up as I processed. The voice of Odin, nonchalant and irritated as ever, shook me. I was aware that by destroying the crystal we had taken away the power source of Yaana but I was shrouded to this consequence. Rather I didn't think much about it.

"But it wasn't immediately after your foolish intervention. It happened days later."

Okay, I'm not going to explain this ignoramus that it can take anywhere between seconds to years for any effect of any blast to show.

"And not only Yaana, but Bifrost suffers too."

"Bifrost?"

"As of this morning, it's destroyed too. How many times have I asked you to stop being the clumsy fool you are but you simply don't listen to me and continue on on your deceiving, pathetic little ways!"

I sighed heavily and made it clear that I'm no longer a part of this conversation.

"Allow me." I bow sarcastically and turn on my heels. The Bifrost is gone, I know that Heimdall will fix it but still, it'll be a dampening fact.

I wander down the corridors and reach the garden. Taking a seat by the fountain, I am overwhelmed by affection and tears as a memory of Y/n crosses me.

She stood there after long hours of practice and a hearty dinner. She placed her hand in the waters of the fountain, playing with the waves and breathing peacefully. I was standing in the shadows, observing her beautiful frame as she went on playing. Eventually, she sensed my presence and invited me to join her. Oh how the blood rushed to my cheeks as I sat by her. The warmth from her smile had filled me with so much serenity that my cold heart had to ruin the moment. And so I did. I told her that I know of better place that I'd rather be than with her. I was a complete idiot for leaving her. I did realise it immediately and regretted that immediately. So I charmed another maiden to cover up that regret. Another bad decision, honestly.

Fresh tears hit my knees as I continued reminiscing. I was so lost in my sadness that I did not notice the sparks of green my fingers were so eager to give. As I wiped my eyes and nose for – hopefully – the final time, I noticed the huge and frequent sparks.

I stood up, my attention rapt on my hands. If I was having the same feeling I usually have when Y/n is around, it could only mean one thing.

Y/n is alive and she is here.