Prince of Asgard (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 48 - Y/n

There are moments in the present that shape your future, and more often than not, we saunter over these moments without a second thought. But almost always, when we look back at those moments, we see the plot - we join the dots.

This was one such moment of my life: a moment where I was going to battle it out in the courtroom of Gods for my life - a mortal life that was once useless in the eyes of these Gods. But now? Now I'm a force to reckon with. I'm someone - something - that is to be feared. Even if I'm not okay with being feared, it is no longer my choice.

But what I can indeed choose is my life. I can choose to protect it, I can choose to live it. And that's exactly what I'm going to do.

Breathing a little, I try and think of all the available arguments that might help me.

None.

But I gotta do something!

Think! Think! Think!

I have to know all the traps, all the rules, the entire constitution of Asgard if that sort of thing even exists. And for that I need time. It's not that I can just manipulate time for my use, or speed through it.

Ugh.

I remember times when I could choose how people will perceive me. But now? My reputation is smothered by the doings of my troubled times. I am not saying that what I did was, in any way, ethical or right. But it was something that needed to be done, it was needed for my peace of mind, and I deserve a chance to explain myself.

Nobody looks me in the eye because who knows when I'd murder them. When I'd burst into white fumes and disappear with their lives. Like a rendition of Lucifer: white, flaming, and ready to make hell.

That's what I've become.

A monster.

No. I can't cave in. Breathe.

I filled my stomach with air, and exhaled.

You know what's the funny part though? Today it isn't my own inner voice that's calling me a monster. It's the people and their unanimous thought. And what's even funnier is, that I accept that with mock pleasure. I don't fight them, I let them label me that, I open my arms and embrace that word, that form, that power.

Monster.

Fear.

Power.

Okay, okay. I cannot learn all about the Vikings law right now, and neither am I going to ask Loki for his help. He's shown me what a great ally he is by dragging me out here.

Monster! Evil! Die!

The inner voices of the crowd echoed louder in my mind.

Monster! Evil! Die!

I sank to my knees, in front of everyone.

No...I'm not bad. Just a little lost. Please give me a chance, please...

Monster! Evil! Die!

I break down in front of everyone. And I cannot stop this even though I'm aware how weak and pathetic it is on my part.

Shut up everyone!

Monster! Evil! Die!

Shut up!!

Monster!

No...

Evil!

I can't...

Die!

Take this anymore...

My shoulders shuddered as empty sobs were pressed into my palms.

I won't be spared, will I? I will be judged without mercy, and without a single thought. These hungry, angry dogs are simply waiting to destroy me at the first sign of bad. Not even evil, just bad. Just one bad thing to happen and I'll be a goner, all because someone wanted something and that something was me. I am not even sure whom to blame. Loki? Heimdall? That Goddess? Myself? Who is to blame? I have so much anger yet nowhere or no one to direct it towards.

But this crowd does. They have anger and it is directed towards me. I am done fighting my disposition, I am done fighting my nature. All my life I had believed that love can conquer all and that I can please everyone enough to be liked by all. But I guess some things are better learnt the hard way. And it seems these people have managed to push me right over the edge of sanity into the chasm of madness.

Monster! Evil! Die!

Fine! Fine! FINE!

If everyone wants a villain, I'll give them a villain.

I'll give them a monster.

Because if anything, humanity or any other civilization, they need powerful beings. Beings they need to bow to, beings they need to immortalize. They want heroes. They want Gods. But what are these heroes worth without a villain? What will these Gods demonstrate their powers over? What will these people do without me - a villain, a monster?

Nothing.

They need the embodiment of evil to be able to worship their Gods.

They need me.

'What are you thinking?!'

Loki's voice came crashing through the veritable bedlam of all of the voices in the Grand Hall.

'Please, you of all people don't need to question me.' I returned.

'Calm down and think, there is always a choice, and I know you are worth every choice. You can't go down this path.'

'Loki, you have no idea what paths I can go down.'

And with that I blocked him out, along with all the other voices. I had said that I was done with crying, I had promised myself I won't be weak. Then what is this pathetic behaviour? This won't do.

I raised my eyes slightly to see Odin looking at me with his usual condescending smile through the thin veil of my hair. I push the hair back, wipe my eyes and nose with the back of my palm. Halfway through, I get an even better idea, I summon a box of tissues and use them to wipe. The audible gasp from the audience at witnessing my magic in the flesh was all the more reason for me to enjoy all of this.

I decided to play further.

With another click of my fingers, I lose the chains, the gown and my ruined face. I change into the best dress I could imagine, complete with the accessories. It always feels good to look good.

By now, the crowd was erupting at my shamelessness and unabashed disrespect of Odin's Grand assembly.

Too bad, I don't care.

I raised my right hand, and everybody's chatter increased, shaming me further thinking that it affects me. I willed my palms to flare, because for the first time, they weren't already flaring. And everybody gasped, their attention rapt on me: what will she do? The question that was flooding everyone. Everyone but me. I knew bloody well what I was going to do.

Destroy.