Prince of Asgard (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 32 - Loki

I stumbled all the way back to the railings. Turning around and gripping them hard till my knuckles were white.

Y/n is alive. Y/n is here.

Then why in the God's name am I so hesitant to swing open that door?

Jealousy? Envy? Pride?

Which sin is so overwhelming me that I cannot swallow it for a glimpse of Y/n? Moments ago I was ready to bring all of Nine Realms to its knees just for her and now I'm reluctant to even knock on my Brother's door.

'But she didn't choose you.'

A voice spoke, the little bully of mine. I know she didn't choose me but that doesn't mean I am not desperate to see her.

'But she is happier without you. The contrast is clear. She is right behind that door, with the Warriors Three and Thor and Sif. They're taking care of her, good care. They love her and you're just some monster. Y/n hates you. You're a-'

Misfit. I completed the sentence that my bully has repeated far too many times. The thing is, I actually believe it this time. You're right, I'm a monster and a misfit. I am not jealous or envious or proud. The only sin that is greater than my love is fear.

I let go of the rails and walked a few steps backwards. That's it. Fear. Fear that she might actually call me all of those things. Fear that she really thinks that about me when I think the world of her. I can't ruin her happiness. I'm a misfit and I'll remain one. Always.

Taking a final look at the doors, I turned on my heels and walked away.

As determined as I was on leaving, the sound of the chamber doors opening stopped me in my tracks. I quickly hid behind a pillar and watched the scene unfold. The Warriors Three and Sif were leaving, all looking defeated. Thor followed behind and they were exchanging nervous glances.

"No, you don't understand. Her magic...it changes every equation." Thor was shushing Sif.

"I understand. But she wiped out an entire planet with only her scream. She didn't just spend a day in the cave but three days. Somehow, the powers and all wrapped her sense of time. I mean Loki was back three days ago, and according to her, it's only been a day." Sif blistered him. "And she isn't aware of any of this. Nor do we know how to help her. You saw her Thor, she's shook. Whatever Shuaya did to her...she's broken."

My heart breathed easier as the news of her really being alive sunk in me. I was already aware of her bad state, but her destroying Yaana? That was extraordinary and terrifying. A question that puzzled me was how was she able to destroy Yaana? That too without the aid of magic? It has been - as Sif iterated - three days since she's taken the fall, then how did she still cling onto the magic?

When I saw them crossing and leaving me behind, I did what I would've never expected myself to do.

I went inside to meet Y/n.

I knew she's mad at me for some reason, I mean I did really push her to that limit. And that I had just reached the conclusion that I can do nothing but ruin her happiness yet I was selfish enough to seek her. She was far too precious to me, even though I fail to show it properly. Especially to her.

Without thinking much about what I'd do or say, I knocked on the wide open doors and the second I did, a bolt of white light grazed past my cheeks, nearly burning my skin.

I dodged it and stood in absolute shock as Y/n recognised me and dismissed me as any kind of a threat. Knocking like that on the doors must've startled her, she is jumpy and on the edge.

"Hey, Y/n, it's me Loki." I peppered in a smile and a chuckle, as if a really hot blast didn't just blister my skin.

She gave me a look that was a mix of fear and disgust. She didn't trust anyone, not me for sure. Her attention was back to the pile of books that surrounded her.

Her sunken cheeks, dead eyes, fidgety hands which clinged onto two daggers, nervous mumbling, astray hair told me everything I might have wanted to ask.

Is she okay? No.
Has she rested? No.
How is she feeling? Unsafe.
Is she coping up well? Absolutely not.

She needed to sleep, and sleep for a long long time. She needed that rest, more than anything. But Y/n realizes that too, she knows she needs to sleep and that's why she's surrounded with books on self-protection spells that will remain active especially when she's asleep. That kind of magic is pretty hard to master, and besides, she'll be discharged of her magic mid-sleep. She'll need me to keep recharging her powers.

A weird, selfish relief filled me as I mused over the fact that she still needs me, that I'll still have reasons and excuses to be with her. I do realize I'm being far to apathetic to her current situation, but I needed to be with her. She's so close to me yet there is miles of differences between us and I wanted - so badly - to erase all of it. Like I had promised, if I had gotten another chance, I'll love her till the end of love itself and it's about time I act on my promises.

I moved closer to her and she turned her back to me in disgust. I should've been discouraged but I wasn't going to be.

"Y/n," I begin, "I know I've been hurtful in the past, but I promi-"

She flicked her wrist and I went flying back, hitting the chamber walls. She wasn't going to let me even try, but I'm stubborn nonetheless.

"But I," staggering to my feet, holding my sides, "I promise I can be better. I am not-"

She flicked her wrists again and this time I was floating, and then I was thrashed down on the floor. I groan and heal myself a little before standing up again. She's stormy. But how is she generating this magic? Her magic, I noticed wasn't any shade of green as it always had been, rather it was white. A colour that had no relation, whatsoever, with me.

"Y/n! Please! Just listen to me!"

She turned around and I saw the fiercest look I had ever seen. Her eyes were glowing white and her fists were full of white smoke and I was terrified to my guts. I have no idea what happened to her in Yaana, but from the looks of it, she must've gained her own magic.

"Y/n, calm down! Please!" I try frantically to dissipate her anger.

"Get out." Her voice came out distorted and reverberated. I couldn't move owning to the fear but I wasn't going to give up on her.

I fisted my own hand by my side and charged them with magic. My skin turning icy blue, my eyes glowing red, I took my Jotun form. A form that I don't take often because it's monstrous. But right now, her rage needed to be matched with, else she might lose herself. And so I will stay. Taking a deep breath, I replied.

"I am not going anywhere, Y/n. I am not giving up on you."