20 Questions

Chapter 7

The next few months seem to drag on forever. I picked up several overtime shifts to finance my vacation and the new wardrobe I convinced myself I needed for the trip. It's Thursday and I leave mid-day on Friday. I had made an appointment to get my hair done because I can't be showing up on vacation with these white trash roots. Unfortunately, my usual hairdresser is off so I had to settle for a replacement. Hot mess Stephanie is taking forever, talking about her boyfriend – who is a less-than-thriving DJ - and other clients while not drying my hair. I don't want to be rude, but I don't give even half a fuck and I need to hurry home to get the rest of my things packed. Just as I pull in the driveway, I hear my phone ring and look down to see that my mom is calling.

Great. Here comes the guilt trip and her last chance to get me to change my mind.

But I won't change my mind. I haven't been this elated about something in a really long time. I don't want to, but I slide my finger across the screen and mentally prepare myself for the inevitable clusterfuck.

"Hello," I answer in my please don't push me tone.

"Jen, it's Mom. Listen, I know you expected me to try and get you to reconsider, but I promise that's not why I am calling." Well, thank fuck. "I just wanted to see if you wanted your dad and me to take you to the airport tomorrow?'

"Nope. I got it covered, Mom."

"What do you mean you got it covered? Don't tell me you are taking one of those Rubbers to the airport."

"It's an Uber, Mom. A rubber is a condom and that's a conversation I can't imagine you want to have with me. Yes, I am taking an Uber."

"Very ladylike, Jenna Janes. Sometimes I think I would have gotten less vulgarity if I had boys. Anyway, just let your dad and I take you to the airport. We'd like to see you since we don't get to on Christmas. Your dad is moping around the house. I know he's upset that you won't be here, but he won't come right out and say it."

Cue guilt trip.

I don't have the time or energy to argue with her so I tell her yes and it makes her happy. I hang up so I can finally start my packing. It's been so long since I've been anywhere that I forgot how much I hate the tedious task. Not to mention, back in the day it was much easier to get through an airport than it is now. My carry-on bag is light because I'm not looking to get a cavity search from airport security. It's been a while since I have been frisked by a man, but airport security is not who I had in mind. Once I finish, I hop into bed, hoping I can contain my excitement enough to fall asleep.

~

I hear my alarm go off and smile at the fact that this is the last time for a week that I have to set it. After a deep and satisfying stretch, I get out of bed and head to the shower. A long pink sweater with gray leggings and boots will be my attire for the first day of Operation Extract Jenna's Current Bitchiness. I like how I look in pink, even though I'm really not that much of a girly girl. I put on some makeup and curl my hair. I glance in the mirror one last time and am pleased with how I look. The day drags on, but when the time comes, my parents are actually on time to take me to the airport, which is a rare occurrence because they are consistently late to everything, a gene I unfortunately inherited. I load my luggage into the truck and mentally prepare myself for the game of twenty questions being hosted by my mother.

We arrive at the airport and Dad grabs my luggage to roll it in. I'm thankful for his comedic interferences today. I am already a little nervous and don't want it to be too obvious. The lady at the counter - Darcy as her name tag reads - is pleasant enough as I check in my bags. Darcy better not lose my luggage because I spent a small fortune on my new clothes and I will hold her personally responsible if I have to endure this vacation with an Aspen Walmart wardrobe. We get to the security checkpoint and I am relieved only passengers can proceed. I give my parents a hug, wish them a Merry Christmas and reassure them I will call when I land. I turn around, wave and swiftly walk away before my mother goes into a full-blown ugly cry.